It's been two weeks without Wilbur, and life hasn't gotten any easier. It's New Year's Eve, and I have no one to kiss at midnight. At least, Claire and Maddie are taking me to a party to distract me. I've remained a mess every single day, going through many boxes of tissues.
"Not to be a bitch," Maddie says as she straightens my hair. "But I hate that you're crying this much over him. If you guys were to just, you know, take a break..."
"Stop," I cut her off. With all of my crying and moping, Claire, Maddie, and even my mother have been telling me to just dump him. Apparently, I'd feel better. They say we should at least take a break until he moves here, because apparently if I'm not actively dating him, I'll miss him less. But not being able to be told he loves me everyday would make me feel a million times worse. "I can call mom right now, who is exhausted at her night shift, and tell her that her 16 year old daughter is going to a party and getting high and drunk."
"Nevermind!" She says, quickly.
I don't even consider their suggestions. They say he's a problem, and makes it worse by texting me constantly. According to them, having too much free time is weird. Neither of them have had to deal with what I'm dealing with. With being long distance from the love of my life and still recovering from an abusive, and actual toxic, relationship. Maddie has never had a serious boyfriend and Claire has only ever dated Andrew. I love them, but they have no fucking room to give me dating advice.
They're also trying to push me towards Joey. NYU offered him extra money to graduate early and start playing in January, (which I'm pretty sure is against NCAA rules), so he's living even closer now. They constantly talk about how he's the perfect one for me, and it was a sign that he moved basically next door. I haven't told Wilbur that detail. I know he already isn't too close with him, and it would probably make him insanely uncomfortable if I told him. Plus, it doesn't matter. Joey's super busy with his basketball stuff, so we haven't even been able to meet up yet. At this point, with how Maddie and Claire are acting, I might just block him. Of course, the party we're going to is an NYU one, so he told me he'll be there. I'm sure I'll be able to avoid him, though.
Frustrated, I grab Claire's bag of edible gummies and pop a few in my mouth. I didn't want to too bad tonight, but I'm kidding myself. I've been getting high every single day, but even that barely makes me feel better. Thankfully, mom isn't home enough to realize my constant state of mind, and when she is home, I'm crying and so my eyes are already red, my actions already strange.
"You're lucky we're even taking you." Claire tells Maddie as she does her own makeup. "You have to stick by me the whole time, though."
"Sounds good!" Maddie says, excited to brag to her friends that she went to a college party, even if she just sits on a couch and gets crossed the whole time.
Once we're all ready, we head out the door, climbing into our Uber. I wear a simple outfit, not needing to impress anyone; a red baby tee under Wilbur's sweatshirt, which is huge on me, and loose jeans. I turn on my phone, opening snaps from my friends. A cute selfie from Olivia and Marie, a picture of a random dog from Matt. Joey sent a mirror selfie of him brushing his teeth in a plain hoodie. I grin at Wilbur's snap, a close up picture of him.
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