Healing Hearts: A Second Chance, Small Town Romance Novel

Chapter 38

Sage

It's so weird that I am sitting across from Logan after all these years of feeling resentment, bitterness and anger. I couldn't understand back then why he would choose Willowbrook over me. Now, as I listen to him talk about his practice and the little leaguers, I can see that we were probably not at that right time in our lives to have committed further. Sure, we both wanted to get engaged, married and have kids. To be honest, I still want all of that but I am also aware that being in my late thirties I could run out of time.

The thought of dating anyone right now fills me with angst. I gave up ten years of my life to Miles and for what? For him to decide he wanted a different track. At least when I left Willowbrook for Michigan I was young and Logan had time on his side to find someone new, to have a wonderful life with. Now we're both in our late thirties and if either one of us wants to have a family, then we have to start all over again. Only, I don't know if I'm ready to go there with anyone. My heart is firmly locked away and no man is breaking it through it and especially not Logan.

Although, as I watch him talking with such exuberance about the little leaguers it fills my heart and I can tell just how much he adores being their coach and taking care of them. He is animated, as his hands move about and he has that gorgeous grin on his face that shows his dimple off. It's so damn sexy, he hasn't lost his looks at all. If anything, this man has grown into himself. His broad shoulders have filled out, his biceps make me want to reach out and feel them, I need to get that in check.

"Do you want kids yourself?" I ask him as my second coffee arrives.

"Sure, of course. I long for a family but unfortunately when my wife passed, I've not found the right person to be with." He looks sad, it makes me want to reach out to him and stroke his hand and offer some comfort but I don't.

"What about you, Sage? Kids, no kids or are you too busy and focused on your career to want all of that?" His eyes are earnest, I know he thinks that my career means more to me than anything else, of course it does, but that doesn't mean that I don't have a biological clock ticking away.

"I do, yes." I say simply. He cocks his head to one side.

"I sense a but in there."

"I'm not sure I can be with anyone, after Miles told me he was moving to London, I kind of you know." I sigh and toy with the cup. "I don't think I can open my heart to anyone again. That and the thought of going on dates just makes me cringe."

Logan laughs. "I get that, absolutely. I don't think I could go out and do the rounds."

"How did you meet your wife?" I ask him, why am I even intrigued? I'll tell you why because a part of me is feeling jealous that she got to spend time with him, she got to see him grow into a man and spoon in bed with him. Oh, what on earth is wrong with me? It was all my choice, my decision. Nobody forced me to leave so why on earth am I feeling like this? Besides, I am also not a jealous person, I never have been not even when we were younger and all the girls wanted to buzz like bees around Logan.

He's always been one handsome fella, and back in school there were those girls, you know the type I mean, that didn't care he had a steady girl. They'd stop in the corridor and push their tits into his chest, they'd side up to him in the canteen even when I was sitting next to him and just be in his face. Sure, it drove me insane, it would anyone. Jealous though, never. I used to get a kick out of the fact that I had the most gorgeous man in school in love with me.

This, however, as I watch him talking, the fine lines around his sexy eyes, his five o'clock shadow, his super sharp jawline, that hair flopping in his eyes and those long, strong fingers around his beer bottle is sending my body into some kind of weird spin.

"She came to Willowbrook and we just got chatting. Funnily enough, here in Bluebells. I met her over on that table over there." Logan points to where the teenagers are sitting still engrossed in their mobiles. "The place was packed and she had nowhere to sit so she came and sat down by me and asked if I minded."

"And of course, you being the gentleman you are, couldn't say no." I finish for him. Ooh, was there a hint of bitchiness and envy there? Okay, okay. I admit it there was. I mutter sorry but he just gives me that darn sexy smile of his like, it's okay.

"Something like that. We got talking and then I saw her a couple of times afterwards. It just seemed we kept bumping into each other, the hardware store, Carol's bakery, Dan's the butcher and eventually I thought I'd ask her for her number and if she'd like to go on a date. The rest is history." He leans back and his chest expands, showing me just enough outline of his muscles through his tight tee. Mm, my heart is racing.

"Romantic." I say whilst all the while feeling envious even though I shouldn't be and what makes me feel even worse is that their love story ended tragically.

"No intention of going out into the field again soon, then?" I ask instead. He cocks his head and grins.

"There's only one woman for me, Sage." He winks. Is he talking about me? Lord, I don't think I can take this. Surely he isn't getting designs on me not after all this time.

"There's going to be a long wait." I tell him.

"That's fine, darlin'. I'm a very patient man."