I said one in a million and I see it with my eyes
I said you one in a million and I feel it when they're closed
I said you one in a million and I need you by my side
But I'm not ready, no I'm not ready
៚ • thirteen
៚ • bronx, ny
៚ • 11am
៚ • bryson jr. walker
"Like it never happened?" Jalani asked over the phone.
"Like it never happened." I repeated. I had just told him about what happened with Samaria in my room the night of our second game.
"And neither of y'all have said anything about it?"
"Nope."
"Are you going to?"
"Nah. We just let it go and went downstairs to eat food. Haven't talked about it since."
"So do you want to say something?"
"I don't-I dont know. I might've been reading into the situation and could potentially fuck up everything for us. And I don't need the lecture of Bryson you're usually bold about this type of stuff because this is very different." I said before pausing.
"This is the girl I've known since I was ugly and short. The girl who's become best friends with my little sister and like a daughter to my parents. Someone who knows almost everything about me and I know so much about her. To risk all that for my thoughts that could be completely skewed is not something I wanna consider." I continued.
"I'm not gonna lecture you because I get it. There's a lot of history and a whole relationship could be lost if you're off so it's understandable. I just don't want you to wait to long if there is a chance."
"It's uncomfortable thinking about having a chance with Samaria. I just don't see it like that."
"Well you should figure out your feelings before you do anything."
"I'm trying but I feel dumb, like I don't know how I should feel. I don't know what I feel. And I don't know what's the best thing to do...I-" I paused not wanting to continue what I was saying.
"Just say it." Jalani said and I took a breath.
"I've spent so much of our friendship in and out of relationships. She's seen me with girls and she knows the details. She's seen what I'm like. I just don't think she could look past that and see my true intentions with her if something did transpire. And I don't know what she'd think about being in a relationship with me."
"For all I know I could be spiraling and just compensating for the fact that I'm not talking to anyone right now." I'm lying my ass off so I don't have to consider taking a risk...
"I don't think that's the case but whatever help you sleep at night my brethren." he said and I bust out laughing.
"Are you tryna call BS?"
"I'm not trying to. I am." He smirked. "So why aren't you talking to anyone?"
"1. Locked in for basketball season. 2. Not really interested in anybody right now."
"Hmmmmm."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means hmmmm. But later I might go play ball with Aiden, you wanna come?"
"Not today. After Samaria and I go to the library I gotta get work to get done. AP Physics is kicking my ass right now and I got a test coming up."
"Aii I'll talk to you later, safety."
"Safety," I said before ending the call. I already knew Samaria was gonna go overtime getting ready so I came out even earlier so I could talk to Jalani while the car warmed up.
