firefly | zhong chenle

CH35

"i'm the captain of the unit. i'm the anchor they need. i'm the saviour and the hero. i'm the expectation"

-

They sat in silence for a bit. Chenle's arms was around her waist and her back was to his chest. Like the perfect scene in every romance movie, they swayed against the silent rhythm of the breeze, and soaked in each others warmth and the pretty moonlight.

"Arin" Chenle uttered her name as if it were the sweetest word in the world "I don't think you understand how much I love you"

She chuckled, turning around and placing her chin against his chest to look up at him. Her arms wrapped around his neck tightly, giving him the reassurance he needs.

"I have never had the love I needed from my parents. My dad wanted me to be a police so badly for the prestige, my mum left when I was young. I grew up fighting for my dreams, at first to spite my father, but fell in love with firefighting. I'm the captain of the unit. I'm the anchor they need. Im the saviour and the hero. I'm the expectation" Chenle looked down at her "But I've never been the one who needed saving"

She resonated deeply with that "I don't need you to be my shield, Chenle. You need to fulfil your duties, but that means you need to get hurt for others to live. And that's why you don't need to be afraid of getting hurt. I'll heal you. That's why I'm here. To be your everlasting remedy" Arin spoke softly "I'm a doctor. My dream was to protect the ones I love"

Chenle sighed, bringing her closer so her head was dug into his neck "What did I do to deserve you"

Arin laughed once more. The two clung onto each other like their lives depended on it. They held each other in their arms, never wanting this moment to end.

Deep down, they both know that this won't last. That this moment was so fragile they had to treasure every second of it. They won't get many moments like this because of their busy profession, and that's why this meant everything for them. To spend a night together, holding each other, talking to each other. And perhaps, that's why their exchange of 'I love you' is so bittersweet, because they will never know if they'll get to say it to each other again.

They separated amidst their hug as Arin asked "How long do fireflies live for?"

"2 months. I think" Chenle responded, placing his hand on top of hers as they held the jar together

"That's so short" Arin frowned, placing her finger against the jar as the firefly fluttered closer to her

"I'll catch a new one for you everytime the old one dims" Chenle responded

"Really?"

"Promise"

Just as the two were about to continue their conversation about fireflies, Chenle's phone rung. It was the dead of night, so it must have been urgent if someone was ringing him now. However, Chenle knew, not that he wanted to admit it, that a mission was coming.

He hesitantly picked up the phone, hearing a panicked Jeno across the line.

"Chenle. Where are you? The alarm rung and you need to get back right now. I'll meet you in the truck in 5. Hurry up. If Arin is with you right now, she doesn't need to come, Unit 1's doctor is covering the situation"

"Got it" Disappointment drowned his tone.

"A mission?" Arin mentioned, reciprocating the disappointment "Do I need to come?"

"Unit 1 has got to medical station covered" Chenle's gaze dropped "I've got to go. I'm sorry. I really am. We only stayed here for half an hour and now I need to leave and I don't know when we'll-" He rambled.

"Go. It's okay. I get it" Arin ushered him away "Go"

Chenle's smiled a weak smile, giving her a peck on the lips before bolting away towards his car. Within seconds, he was gone. She stood alone. On the beach, with a firefly, looking out into the distance.

And for the first time, she felt alone.

;

"Hey, Arin. I'm doing the finishing-" Jungwoo greeted her as she entered the station door. He stopped dead in his place seeing her attire and her face of disappointment.

Jungwoo furrowed his eyebrows, reaching a hand out to touch her shoulder in comfort "Are you okay?"

"Yeah" Arin pulled her lips up in a smile to mask her being upset from disappointment, even though she knew that Chenle had no choice but to leave anyways "I'm fine"

"Is it Chenle? All the firefighters just went on a mission...If it gives you any peace of mind, the mission today was a straightforward one. Theyre all preparing for the bush fire so they wouldn't be assigned an overly draining mission " Jungwoo sighed, pursing his lips upon analysing her expression "I knew this would happen"

"I did too" Arin nodded "I really thought I was ready for it all. But I'm feeling so many things at once. Disappointment that we might not have a choice to go on a date again, anxiety because who knows how he's doing out there, fear because I don't know anything about the situation. It's just...I don't know"

"Arin..." Jungwoo'a tone dripped with worry.

"Go to bed. It's late. I'm going to go on a walk" With that, Arin left Jungwoos side and found herself clambering up the emergency stairs to the rooftop. This felt awfully a lot like deja vu, like the first time she waited for him to come back on a mission. Similarly, she sat on the bench on the roof, looking out into the distance and kicking her feet against the concrete. She would
open her phone every so often to check the news, and sometimes she pressed her hands together to pray that he was okay.

After a couple hours of staring blanking into the midnight sky, she felt a figure approach her. Soon, she was greeted with a steaming bowl of miso soup in her hands.

And that's when she felt her first tear roll down her cheek.

"It's hard" The familiar voice of the elderly, Misoon, sounded beside her ear "I know it is"

Arin clutched onto the bowl, her body trembling as if all her bottled up emotions of anxiety poured out the moment she felt the warmth of Misoon's voice. In this freezing winters day, she held a bowl of soup, crying, because she had never been this terrified before.

Misoon, without uttering a word, pulled the girl into her embrace, gently patting her back as if she was comforting a child.

"It's okay to be scared" Misson whispered, feeling Arin's tremble begin to slow into heavy breathing "You'll be okay"