firefly | zhong chenle

CH45

"i took advantage of his love"

-

"Okay" Arin breathed, her eyes dashing from his head down, analysing his condition. Her hands were shaking, and her entire body tensed and anxious. She was left with very minimal amounts of things around her, so all she could do was keep his head and neck stable, and check his pulse. She placed her finger under her nose to check his breathing, realising just how shallow it was, she brought two thicker bricks and placed it on either side of his head, her hands lightly tapping against his cheek

"Stay with me Chenle" Arin mumbled. She was feeling a hundred different emotions right now that she was getting so scared and anxious she wanted to cry. Arin got onto her knees, checking his breathing once more in empty hope that it'll get heavier, but to no avail did it change. Thus, she intertwined her hands and pumped against his chest. Shortly after, she placed her lips against his, performing CPR.

She repeated this motion over and over again, in hopes that Chenle will become more conscious. Fear evaded every corner of her body, and she had never felt this scared in her life. Suddenly, she heard something crack above her. She halted, everything freezing. In a split second, she placed her body over Chenle, her back shielding him from any falling debris. She didn't care about anything the moment she did that. She didn't care whether she would lose her life doing this, she didn't care whether she was going to hurt herself so badly that she can't even walk out from the hospital. She didn't care at all.

Thankfully, the debris just scraped past her, and she escaped losing her life.

"Chenle...Chenle" She repeated, her eyes examining the area for absolutely anything that could help. It wasn't until she felt a soft grip upon her fingers, that a part of her heart finally settled.

Her eyes jerked back to him, her knees burning from kneeling on concrete "Oh my god". His grip was weak, but there. Like telling her, she did great, and she didn't have to worry about him anymore.

I'm fine. Thank you.

Was what he was trying to say.

In the following minute, she heard two firefighters barge into the scene. Both desperately pulling Chenle onto a stroller and taking him out. Someone else grabbed her and escorted her safely out too. Her mind was too dizzy and blurry to even match name to face. She was on the verge of breaking down and the world around her soon just merged into small blobs of colour. The crackling of fire, the screaming of people, the smashing of concrete on the ground all soon became silence. She could only vaguely make out being pushed onto an ambulance whilst people were yelling around her.

Like always, she was the one sat next to the patient on the ambulance. But this time, she was the one holding the patients hand, and not the one holding the oxygen mask.

;

Chenle had been sent in for ages. It got to the point where Arin was pleading for the doctors to let her in to see him. She kept telling them that she was a doctor and she knows what she was doing, but it was clear she had forgotten that she was not a doctor anymore, nor is she legally allowed to operate on people she was close with. Thus, Arin found herself sitting on the metal chair, anxiously biting her fingers as she rocked around on the chair.

A couple minutes later, Jeno seemed to have found her, taking a seat beside her. His arm was bandaged thickly, and his skin marked with countless bruises and scratches. It seemed as though he just had everything patched up.

"Arin" Jeno softly spoke her name, his gaze lingering on her, silently analysing the look of melancholy plastered across her lips. Arin didn't respond to, unable to do so and couldn't bare to do so. She was the reason he was lying in bed, unconscious; she told herself.

"Did you get everything checked up? You had pretty bad wounds too" Jeno asked with concern lacing his words. Arin could only nod in response.

Guilt ate at every inch of her skin, and she had never wished so much for Chenle to not have come. He was indeed like the firefly in the dark when she saw him enter the room to save her. But, she hated herself for letting that firefly get swallowed by the dark because she wasn't strong enough to be his light when he dimmed.

"I'm sorry" was the first two words Arin could bare to utter. She buried her head in her hands, soft whimpering echoing in the empty hallway. Jeno placed a hand on her back, as if to tell her it was okay, that no one blamed her, yet it was futile. She could never erase the hopeless memory of Chenle lying on the ground from her head.

"It's not your fault" Jeno responded, but his voice was obviously deeper and sadder.

"I'm so sorry" Arin shook her head "If I wasn't in there, Chenle wouldn't have gone in and he would be okay now. He would be back at the station pursuing his dreams...Jeno, you don't understand. I ruined his dream as a firefighter and I took advantage of his love"

"Arin, you didn't ruin anything" Jeno sighed, but he understood this tortuous feeling of remorse. But he too, lost many firefighters because he couldn't protect them as the deputy leader. Everyone in Unit 3 has experienced this deep sense of loss.

"He wanted me to give you something" Jeno said those words with such hesitation and stutter that it sounded like he was about to cry. Arin lifted her head to look at Jeno. He stretched out his hand and passed her a letter.

His last letter.