The Odd One Out (Hailee Steinfeld)

Chapter 13

   Hailee stayed silent as if she was really thinking about what Alex had said. Alex rubbed her face then leaned her back against the couch as she crossed her arms over her chest. "We....we could." Hailee said hesitantly. "I mean what else can we do?" Alex asked finally looking over at Hailee now who had her eyes on the floor. Hailee shrugged as Alex took her eyes off her and slowly stood up and she gently grabbed her ribs. "Wait where are you going?" Hailee asked frantically as she shot up from the couch. "I mean if we are never going to talk again better start now." Alex stated walking towards the front door. She reached for the door handle. But suddenly was turned around when Hailee grabbed her hand. Alex glanced down at their hands as Hailee held onto it like she was about to die. Alex's eyes flicked back up to Hailee as she stood there and her eyes started to slowly turn into determination. "I can't live like that." Hailee states still not letting got of Alex's hand. "What?" Alex whispered almost as if someone else was listening. "I can't lose someone like you" Hailee paused for a second and Alex actually got to take in how she looked since she was basically staring at the floor the whole time. Her hair was thrown into a messy bun and she looked as if something had been bothering her to a point she had been crying about it. The outfit she wore was just as if she had been lounging all day and hadn't gone anywhere. Her eyes, those gentle hazel eyes looked back at her as if they were uncertain about what she was going to say next. There were bags under her eyes as if she hadn't slept the night before. Her other arm was wrapped around herself as she closed off her body to Alex. "I can't lose someone who hasn't done me any wrong, who hasn't tried to be my friend for my money or the fact that I'm a celebrity, and who hasn't just done it to put me off and slowly break me until we never speak again. I want-" she paused clearing her throat," I need to have a friend like you when things go bad and I need someone to talk to or when something exciting is happening and I really need to express that feeling and I feel like your the only one I can do that with." Hailee finished her rant as she took a scared breath unsure of what Alex was to say. Alex took a deep breath then her eyes went back to their hands that still held onto each other. Alex's eyes lingered there for a second before pulling her hand away. "I'm sorry Hailee but I feel like this is best for both of us." With her statement Alex walked out of the door leaving Hailee there with teary eyes.

Alex opened her door to find Braden sitting on the couch with his arms over his chest watching the TV. Alex stepped in and took off her shoes by the door, "Oh look who finally decided to come back." Braden said never taking his eyes off the screen. Alex swallowed hard as Braden's voice rang through her head making it pound without him even doing anything to her. He stood up making Alex's muscles freeze into place as she heard his footsteps walk up to her. "Where have you been." "I went on a run I do that everyday." Alex said never looking up at him to make eye contact. "Oh I see so I didn't beat you enough last night if you were able to get up and go on a run." Braden said as he got closer to her face making Alex finally look up at him with fear showing all over her face. He smirked as he brought his fist up and punched her in the gut making her double over. "Get up." Braden gritted through his teeth and he put his arm around her chest forcing her up as she struggled to find her breath. He grabbed her jaw forcing her to kiss him as his hands felt up and down her waist.

  What if I tried?

   Alex brought up her own fist ramming it into his gut making him slightly stumble backwards but just enough for Alex to get away from him. "Oh you've done it now!" She heard Braden say behind her as he laughed. She ran into the bedroom closing the door but just before she could get it fully shut Braden caught it forcing it open as Alex fell backward unable to do anything as he stepped closer. He reached down and picked her up by the collar of her shirt almost ripping it as he stood her up. Alex didn't move afraid if she did he would beat her until she died. He looked down at his fist which was balled up into a fist. "You know when you stepped through that door I really thought about not beating you too bad but then you go and pull a stunt like that." Before Alex could even get a word out his balled up fist came flying toward her face making contact with her jaw. She fell to the ground as he let go of her collar rubbing his knuckles. "Still thinking about going on that run?" He asked tauntingly. He got on the ground beside her and slapped her across the face. He picked her up again sitting her on the bed. Then taking a few steps back. Alex closed her eyes as she knew what was probably going to come next. She was going to try and brace herself but she knew no matter what she nothing was going to help. As these thoughts ran through her mind his fist hit her in the gut once more then came and hit her in the side of her head very close her eye. Alex fell back onto the bed but she did not dare cry out in pain unsure of what he would do. She heard him laugh, "Alright if had enough I'm going home...you better be here when I get here tomorrow." He shad before walking out of the door leaving her alone. She laid there as tears streamed down the sides of her cheeks and she shortly heard his truck start then drive off.

Alex still didn't move as more tears came to her eyes. Her head started pounding even worse to a point where she just had to lay there and walk with the pain. Her gut screamed out any sort of attention from a doctor or soft hands. Her jaw hurt when she opened her mouth and she could feel her eye starting to swell. Alex could feel her heart beating in her skull the only sort of life she had right know was the sound of her heart beat. A heart beat was a sign of life but Alex didn't really know if she was living or just existing. Not only did her head hurt but her mind hurt, Hailee came into her mind and thinking about what she said tonight and how Alex turned her down made her want to vomit. How could she turn someone down like that in a time of need and distress. Hailee really needed her and Alex let her down just as she had done with her dad. She just had to show him that stupid picture. Alex is the reason they are broke, Alex is the reason her dad is dead, and Alex is the reason why her mother is the ways she is. Her mother would always yell at her for something she didn't do but Alex never said anything because she knew what her mom was really yelling at her about. Hearing the words that always came from her mother's mouth, "I can't believe you Alex. Alex I hope you one day grow up and realize what you have done. Alex I am so disappointed in you." She said that last one at least ten times a day making Alex feel bad about herself 24/7. After his death nothing was the same. First Alex would cry all day and all night she got a week off school but it didn't matter because she just spent it crying. After a few days she would just sit in her bed as the numbness in her body made her unable to move, speak, eat, or drink. After a while she went back to school but even sometimes in class she would get a random pain in her chest but she knew exactly what it was from. It made her heart hurt so much she wanted to crawl into a ball and cry more but she quickly realized that you got made fun of if you did that. No one cared about you if you were a good or mediocre kid, but if you did something embarrassing or really bad. That would be all the kids talked about so Alex quickly learned to suppress her feelings as she smiled and went about her day as if nothing had changed at all. No one questioned it and that was how she liked it, she didn't like taking or being asked questions, she would much rather sit in silence by herself. After a while she realized that this was because when she tried to talk to people she found it difficult to. Her mom signed her up for a therapist but that didn't help any because no matter how many questions the therapist asked the only words that came out of Alex was, "Can I go now?" Thinking about those words alone made her heart hurt how those were the only words she would ever say aloud to anyone. Even now when someone asks her what's wrong she doesn't know how to form the words to tell them. She can't find it in herself to spill out every word or tear that is bundled up inside of her waiting to be released. So instead she just stares ahead and stays in her own lane. She tries not to keep anyone close because then they ask one too many questions for Alex's liking. The only person she got close with was Braden, she couldn't spill out everything to him so instead she did what she could by telling him just the basics of what she was dealing with. He nodded then took her in and helped her get better and soon she found herself in his arms night after night falling for him more and more. After he finally got comfortable he started verbally abusing her and she was never one to put up with that so she dropped him. But he knew everything so now he was just a stranger with all her secrets and that was something she hated more than him. Being in his arms the other night reminded her of the old days when he would caress her cheek until she got her breath even or when he would whisper into her ear how much he loved her right before she fell asleep making her smile. She thought maybe he did change for the better but she was clearly wrong. Now that she cut off all ties with Hailee she couldn't possibly tell anyone about Braden. Tracy never knew what he did neither did Lizzie.

Alex finally got enough strength to put her head on her pillow and drag her legs onto the bed as she curled her legs up to her chest. She silently cried as she drifted off to a sleep full of nightmares.