Stepping onto that stage, I felt on top of the world. The gold medal in my grasp seemed like a symbol of my imminent triumph—I was on the cusp of making my dreams a reality. Years of hard work at the "top" institution had shaped this vision. With my drive and determination, I believed I could conquer med school, top the boards, and even publish a book by 20.
I was unstoppable.
As a freshman at San Pedro College, I set meticulous daily goals. Memorize cases, stay updated, recite without notes—I aimed to stand out, to be exceptional.
But reality hit hard when I faced humiliation in class -- the 86 on my report card, the 5/10 on a basic chemistry quiz, or stumbling through an unprepared recitation after a sleepless night. People brushed it off as common, but for a perfectionist like me, it felt like a crushing blow. I pushed harder, but the stress only intensified. Physically and emotionally, I spiraled downward until my body demanded a pause.
After a year on hiatus, medicating, and seeking distraction through various pursuits, I grappled with the disappointment I inflicted on myself. In my wanderings, I realized the harshness of life, the system's politics, and how my creativity was stifled in that world.
Most importantly, I discovered life's profound lessons—far beyond academic laurels. Conversations with diverse individuals, from bosses to everyday folks, taught me more than my university ever did. Despite my family's insistence on my pre-med path, I found contentment in my unique journey. Working at my pace, exploring, meeting new faces, and pursuing my true passions fill me with immense joy.
I may not hold luxurious titles, but through writing, I can connect with the youth. I may lack prestigious labels, yet I can impact communities through my words.
It took me two years to break free from society's fixation on academic achievements and titles. That's why I'm here, writing this book—for future generations and my fellow perfectionists—to remind you: don't be too hard on yourself.
Things will fall into place in due time. Ikaw, kakasa ka ba?
YOU ARE READING
The Gift of Merci
短篇故事"Error means failure, and failure means disappointment." "The Gift of Merci" takes readers on a gripping journey through the life of Sage Luxaire, a relentless perfectionist who lives by the mantra that 'error equates to failure'. With a track recor...
