Devastatingly Mine

Chapter 1. Alessa:

1 year later.

I've grown my short shag blonde hair out and added layers as well as gettingit dyed black which makes my blue eyes pop. I wanted a change and moving from the town that I'd lived in most of my life wasn't enough and having to deal with the stares even 1 year later after that horrible night I just couldn't take it. I needed a new life. New friends. New look. My mother understands. After all, all I had was Sarah, and if it wasn't for the fact that she was meeting me at the river that morning for our daily swim I probably wouldn't be alive today. She couldn't handle the fact that she almost didn't make it in time and moved away about a month after the incident. We still talk a couple of times during the month but instead of what happening to us bringing us closer today it drove us apart. We didn't know how to handle what happened and what could have happened. Moving to Houston so far has been a very good decision. This is only my second month here and so far, I've managed to make friends with the doorman in my apartment building, Phillip is as mean as they come, but he enjoys his job and I think I'm starting to break him down more each time I see him from one sentence to two. Tomorrow is the end of a very long week and some people from work have invited me out for drinks. I very happily agreed to meet them hoping that one of them would end up turning into a friendship instead of just someone I see and talk to only at work.

The next morning, I put on a white blouse with a navy-blue skirt and my black heels. It's appropriate for an editorial assistant and it works well with the heat in Houston. Living only 2 blocks away from work means I save money on a car by just walking to work each day, minus the occasional rainstorm but that's not very often. The morning is nice, and the heat isn't too bad, and it makes me feel like today is going to be a good day. The workday goes by fast and I'm not sure if it is because I've spent most of the day reading and making notes for my boss or because I'm really excited about the drinks after work but either way it was a quick day and before I know it Jamie is knocking on my door asking if I'm ready to go. Jamie who is 5'7" and looks like she could have been a supermodel in another life with her thin figure and bright blonde hair, has been the only person to talk to me at work besides my boss. "One second, I have to bring this home with me and turn it in to Nancy on Monday," I say smiling at her. She rolls her eyes "You don't get paid to work on weekends, you know that right?" I shake my head at her and laugh at her comment. "I live by myself, what else am I going to do with my weekend? Besides I like reading." I tell her "mhm, let's go" she responds.

We walk out of the building and walk a couple of blocks to a little bar, on the outside you would never think was a bar, you would think was just a regular building with tinted windows not being able to see in. We go in and there are 4 people that I have never met, but have noticed from work that Jamie begins introducing me to. After 4 drinks and a plate of fries, I can feel my phone vibrating and notice that my mother is calling. I decided to ignore it and would just call her later. She will be happy to know that I was putting myself out there and trying to make friends again after being closed off for so long. Jayden, who is easily attractive enough with dirty blonde hair that falls to his shoulders and is about 6 feet tall, has been attached to my hip since I walked in with Jamie. Asking me simple questions like how I like work and what I like to do for fun, as well as paying for my drinks and fries. He is someone I could see myself becoming friends with, but only friends and nothing more. I try to pay for everything each time, but he keeps handing his card to the bartender before I can. I decided after the fries that I would stop ordering stuff because I didn't want him to get the wrong idea.

The drinks hit me, and I turn to Jamie "I'll be right back, I have to go to the restroom." I yell over the music playing. "Want me to come with?" she asks as she eyeballs a guy on the other side of the bar. "No, it's fine, I'll be right back." I laugh as I stand and make my way to the back of the bar where the bathrooms are. Washing my hands, I look at myself in the mirror and all I can do is stare at the woman looking back at me. She isn't the woman who goes to the bar after work. She isn't the woman who hangs out with groups of people that she hardly knows even if they do work with her. Starting to feel like a fake I decide that it's time for me to go home before I do something to make them see that I'm pretending to be something I'm not.