Never Mind | #yoonmin

48

Last time I was here in Jimin's apartment I had to be carried out on a stretcher, which I have no memory of, I've just seen the video on my phone. Jimin tried to take my phone when he saw I was watching it, he said he didn't want me to be traumatised like he is, but I insisted on watching it. I didn't want Jimin to have to be the only one to carry this image in his head.

"Want some tea?" Jimin offers while walking to the kitchen.

"Sure." I answer while slowly approaching the spot behind the couch where I passed out. The scenes play in my head like a nightmare I barely even remember. He must have cleaned up the blood when he came home to change clothes after my surgery. My blood, all over his floor. What must it have been like? What if I had to clean Jimin's blood off of my floor? I shiver at the thought.

"What are you looking at?" Jimin walks back to me. "Oh..."

"You had to clean it all up on your own. I'm sorry..."

"Don't be sorry baby, it's not your—" Jimin stops his sentence and becomes pale like a ghost.

"What? What happened?"

He points at the floor. "I... I missed a-a spot..." His voice shakes as much as his little finger which is pointed at a red spot on the floor. I quickly grab his hand and turn him to me.

"It's okay, I'll clean it up."

"B-but..." His breath rapidly became shallow and loud and his teary eyes reflect pure panic. "H-hyung, I c-can't... breathe..." He grasps his chest.

"Shit, alright, come here." I pull him away from the red spot, sit him down on the couch and kneel in front of him.

"Everything is alright, try to breathe slowly... in... and out... good... again." I patiently watch how his breath becomes more regular again. It reminds me of my first panic attack. I wish someone back then could have told me what was going on, but I hid in the nearest high school bathroom and didn't come out until 3o minutes later.

"Feeling better?" I ask while going to sit next to him.

"Y-yeah... Shit, sorry, what was that?"

"Just a little panic attack, I think."

"Panic attack? Fuck..." He drops his forehead on my shoulder.

"Have you had this before?" I ask while softly rubbing his back.

"No..."

"Mmm. Jimin-ie... I think you should talk to someone about what happened."

"Hm?"

"Like, a therapist. The whole experience must have been quite traumatic for you."

"Oh..." He lifts his head up again and I can see doubt painted all over his face. "But it's really not so bad, I'll be fine. I guess I just need some time." He brushes it off.

"Jimin-ie, people go to a therapist for way less, it's totally normal. Just give it a try, alright?"

"Hmm. Alright. But how do I even find one? I don't know where to start..."

"I'll help you."

"O-okay... Thanks, hyung. What about you then?"

"I already have a therapist, remember?" I smile softly.

"Ah, right." He chuckles. "Well, let me make that tea and then I desperately need a shower, no one has been giving me sponge baths." He sticks his tongue out and stands up. I can tell he's trying to ignore his worry.