I Want You, Simon

Chapter 13

On a Friday afternoon, Samira woke up with red and puffy eyes. She picked up her phone and looked at the date, groaning and turning over to lay on her back, knowing all the work that was in store for her today. She wasn't sure if she was up to the task at all, but once the scent caught her nose, she knew that she had to. She pulled together any bit of energy that she had and trudged to the bathroom, removed her bonnet and turned on the shower. This was step one of wash day.
While she was in the shower, she started thinking about her life, like everyone does when they get older. She thought of all the moments where she's made mistakes, hurt someone's feelings without meaning to, or crossed a boundary that she didn't know was there; and of course that led her brain to Simon and the fact that she had not heard from him in over a week. She had tried to push that from her head the whole time, but it kept coming back.

Geez, having long hair was really difficult.

After her shower, she took her time drying off and getting dressed. There was no need to rush, her hair would still be wet when she was done. And it was.

She wasn't really in the mood to be brushing, combing and etangling her hair, but she also hated the feeling of it dripping down her back. She let out a huge sigh mixed with a groan, when she heard a knock on her door.

She sat and ignored it for a moment, but then heard a second knock adn lazily dragged herself out of the bathroom and towards the door. She wasn;t sure if she was ready to do any socializing yet, she had dedicated all her energy to wash day,

She took one last big breath before opening the door. Outside was Simon Petrikov, staring down at his fingers as he fiddled with them. He didn't seem to notice that she had opened the door for a few seconds after she had, and continued on as if he was in his own little world, before he looked up, startled and a bit embarrassed to see that she was there. But the embarrassment was quickly replaced with confusion, when he laid eyes on the top of her head.
"Why is your hair wet?"
She glanced up at the wet hair hanging in her face before dejectedly sighing "It's wash day."
His mouth forms into an 'O', with no sound "Is it okay if I come inside or is this a bad time?"
Samira's face softens and she responds "You can come in if you want to."
She moves out of the door frame, her hair still dripping down her back and onto the floor. Simon steps into the house cautiously and Samira closes the door behind him, before he slips and falling on the little water puddles left by Samira's hair. She stares at him in shock, covering her mouth with her hands.

She squats down to help him up "I am so sorry,"
Simon sits up and rubs his head "It's alright, you didn't know I was coming."
"No, I meant I'm sorry about that," she smiles a little and points out the water on his shirt, from coming in contact with her hair. He looks down in shock and then back up at her. They laugh together, and it felt very good.
He takes a moment to stand, and she steadies him as he stands, she guides him to the couch.
"Your butt must hurt," she says jokingly
He sighs with a smile "Yeah.." he trails off
She stares at him while he plays with his fingers. She takes in some air and exits the room. She sits inside the bathroom, and starts taking care of her hair. She is mid moisturizing when she hears Simon call for her.
"Samira?"
"Yes?" she answers while brushing through her hair
"Can we have a conversation?"
She glances toward the door "Of course," She furiously brushes out a tangle
The place is silent for a moment, before Simon chimes in again
"I would like to see you, if that's okay."
Oh. She thought. She stood up and frantically looked around the bathroom, grabbing all her necessary products and bringing them out the living room. She sat them on the table and sat in a chair across from where Simon sat on the couch.
"I hope you don't mind me doing my hair as we talk."
"I don't mind" he smiles
She picks up the brush and raises it up to her hair "So...what did you want to talk about?"
"Umm.." he pushes his hair back "When you kissed me."
Samira's face fell and so did her stomach, she really didn't want to think about how she'd messed up again.
"I'm sorry about that, as I told you last week I-"
"I know." He said, looking down "I just... I wanted to say how it made me feel."
"Okay."
"You kissing me, made me feel" He thought for a moment "Feelings that I haven't felt in a long time. And I'm not sure that I'm ready to feel them again just yet."
"Oh. I understand. It was nice while it lasted, right?"
He looks confused. "What do you mean?"
She stares at him blankly "Is this not you telling me that you don't want to see me anymore?"
He looks taken aback "What? No! I want to see you again." She smiles and feels relief for the first time in the past week. "I just wanted to say something."
"Okay."
"I...am not ready for anything romantic at the moment"
She takes that in, showing no reaction, but feeling it all the while "Okay."
"I would still like to be around you. Because I like you, but I don't want you to be hurt by a lack of reciprocation on the romantic level."
"Okay."
"And you can keep..doing what you do..." He looks away, sounding embarrassed
She raises an eyebrow "To what are you referring?"
"You know..how you say stuff"
"How I say stuff?" This was not any clearer
"Like, how you say nice stuff about me.."
"Complimenting you?"
"No no...it's more than that. Like, you know how you called me 'Daddy'?"
Then it clicked in Samira's head, a smirk slowly appeared on her face
"You mean, you want me to flirt with you?"
Simon's face grew pink, as he kept looking away "Yes.. that's it."
She tilts her head to the side "Why do you want me to flirt with you if you don't desire anything romantic from me?"
He shrugs, still looking away "I don't know, it feels nice"
"Hey," she says "Can you please look at me?" He slowly turns his head to her "It's nice to know that I can make you feel nice."
He smiles at her
"But," she said, as her hair curled up while drying, "It would be nice if you did it back."
She sits back "But only if you're comfortable, obviously"
His eyes widened "You want me to flirt with you?"
She puts her hands up "Only if you're comfortable, but yeah. It would be nice.
"Oh. Okay, I'll try"
She grins "It should be natural. Don't do it if you feel uncomfy."
"I'll do my best." he smiles at her
Samira threw her hair up into a lazy ponytail during a beat of silence. It was no longer dripping, but it wasn't dry yet either. He watched her and her hands expertly deal with her hair. He never did anything other than wash and condition his, and he usually just let it hang down.
"So how did it make you feel then?" she asked after she was done securing her hair.
"Hmm?" her voice brought him back to Earth
"How did...the kiss make you feel?" she stares at him "If you don't mind me asking."
He looks toward the ceiling to think "It made me feel..." he pauses "wanted. In a fresh, but familiar way. But feeling that wasy made me feel guilty, because I feel as though I'm betraying my fianceé"
"Well, ex-fianceé"
"What?"
"She's your ex-fianceé, right? Like, you're not going to marry a chaos god, right?"
Simon is silent for a beat "Well, yes I suppose so."
Samira sits back and wonders what was going through his head in that moment, so she'd might as well ask.
"Why do you feel like you're betraying her?"
"I'm not certain. She was my whole life for so long. Focusing on something, let alone someone else feels unnatural."
"That's bad."
Simon snaps his head toward her "What is?"
Samira purses her lips "Betty...being your whole life."
"What do you mean?"
"Unless you meant that figuratively."
Simon leans to the side "I mean, I did. But it is true that for so long, she was all I had, and all I wanted."
"Yeah, that's bad. Your entire life should not be devoted to a single person. Learned that the hard way myself."
"Oh?" He raises his eyebrow
"Yeah, but that story is irrelevant right now."
"I'd love to hear it one day." He smiles at her with his hands on his knees
"Oh you will, you know if you change your mind"
She shrugs and he blushes "Wait, when you kissed me you said something."
"Yes?"
"You said you like me."
She nods "Yes,"
"Why did you say that?"
"Because I like you." her face is blank and even "A lot of times, you'll find that when I say something, it's because that's what I mean."
"But what do you mean that you like me? Like me how?"
"I don't know," she puts her hand on her chin "I am fond of you and I find you pleasant to be around, and I find you attractive. I guess that's what I mean. And you find me pleasant and are fond of me, and you find me attractive, so I believed us to be on the same page, that is why I did it. Unless those things are not true."
"No no! They're true, you are very pleasant to be around. And I think you're attractive, but I-"
"Can I ask you a question?" She cuts him off
He snaps his mouth shut before answering, kind of amused "Okay..."

"Do you like Black women Simon?"
"What?"
"Cuz in the books I've read, apparently 20th century people weren't very fond of us. And you're a 20th century dude."
"That's not me. I think Black women are very beautiful"
"Oh," she turns to him
"What? You act as if I'm white." He chuckled
"Oh, I don't know..I just thought-"
"Well now you know," he scooches to the edge of the couch, to be as close to her as possible "You're beautiful,"
She scooches to the edge of her chair and grabs his hand. "You're beautiful,"
His eyes widened, shocked "Thank you. I don't think I've ever been called that before."
"Well now you have." She bats her lashes at him.
"Why do you ask that of all things?"
She shrugs "I'm just trying to understand your brain a little bit better. I don't know, I was thinking maybe that's why you didn't like me."
"No! It's not that I don't like you, like I said it's just that-"
"No, I think I get it. No romance at all between us, because you feel guilty. I get it."
Simon rolls his eyes around "What I said is none right now." he speaks under his breath
"Oh?" she smirks "So basically you're just asking me to wait."
His olive skin turned pink "I'm just saying not right now!"
"Which means some time in the future, right Professor?" she speaks in a suggestiv sultry tone.
"Well, yes-"
"So when you say 'no romance right now' you mean you want me, but in the future?" She winks at him as his blush gets deeper.
"I-" he can't get the words past his tongue
"Relax..." she strokes his hand "I'm just joking...Daddy"
He gulps and bites his lip, in a way that he thought she couldn't see.

But she did.