I Want You, Simon

Chapter 17

"Wait, you didn't know they were called 'bikes'?
    "No! To me a 'bike' is a contraption with two wheels that you pedal on the ground!"
She laughs "That sounds silly. Two wheels on the ground? Like, how do you even balance on that?"
    "That was something people learned as kids in my time."
    "Well, everyone learns how to ride a bike, basically as like babies."
    "Yeah, but clearly we're talking about different things!"
She smiles "We are, yours is just ridiculous."
He shakes his head at the table. Samira is at the stove cooking, she wouldn't tell him what she was making, so he had to wait and be surprised "You didn't have to cook for me."
    "I'm not. I'm cooking for me and you're just here, so I'm choosing to feed you."
    "You don't have to,"
She scoffs "What do I look like having a guest in my house, and not feeding them?"
    "Am I really a guest to you anymore?" he smiles and tapes the table
    "Well then, why wouldn't I feed a friend?" she turns and smiles at him "Besides, I wanted to talk to you." She turns back around towards the stove
    "About what?"
    "I'll get to it in a second."
Samira approaches her oven and pulls out a fully cooked turkey, and places it on the counter, followed by a pan of baked macaroni and cheese.
    "You bake it?" he asked curiously
    "Hmm?" she turned to look at him after placing the pan on the counter
He points to the pan "The macaroni and cheese? You bake it."
"Yes." She states plainly "That's the only way I've ever seen it get made," Simon is somewhat confused, but intrigued by this "How do you make it?"
    "I don't really, but Betty-" he stops in the middle of his sentence, seeing Samira tense up for a moment. He chooses not to finish that sentence. "Sorry." he says
Samira exhales and turns off the stove "It's fine. Finish your sentence."
    "I was just going to say that she usually made it on the stove."
Samira is quiet for a moment while she places each meal item on a plate. First, carving the turkey, scooping the mac and cheese, then the peas and carrots she had cooking on the stove. She places the plate with a fork and a knife in front of him.
    "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about." she sits down in front of him
He feels a bit too awkward to eat something, feeling that he caused an awkward silence. It seemed like Samira could sense this and gestured toward his plate "Go ahead and eat it. That's why I put it there." She smiles a little.
He does start to eat cautiously and slowly, while still making sure to listen to what she's saying.
    "I know that you apologized to me like a few weeks ago, but I think that I should be apologizing to you." He looks confused, but has food in his mouth, so he can't exactly speak. Samira finds this extremely cute, and laughs and smiles. "Sorry." she takes another breath "It was entirely inappropriate for me to show up to your house like that. In that manner and at that hour. Again, I'm sorry for vomiting on your floor."
He's finally swallowed the food and is free to respond "I told you it was okay,"
    "You're very nice, but it's not okay." She shakes her head slowly and touches his hand "But what I mostly want to apologize about is..." she bites her lip anxiously before saying "The way I reacted in the first place. I shouldn't be acting like that just because you bring up....Betty. I really had the time to stop and think about it. I don't know, for some reason, I feel really defensive when you talk about her. Especially when it's for a really long time. I'm not sure what it is. But I'm sorry. I've been acting like a child."
Simon reaches out and touches her hand back "You're not acting like a child." His voice is gentle and soft. "I get melancholy when I think about her as well. I know it isn't the same, but it's similar."
    "It's not though." She stands, "You knew her. You loved her. It makes sense for you to feel that way." She paces around the kitchen "I've never even met her. She was gone before I even met you!" she whips around to look at him "Her being gone is the reason that I met you," she says this part quietly
    "Yes, I suppose that's true." he looks up at where she stands
She exhales once more "I'm not going to stop you from talking about Betty." She states plainly "This is my issue, and I shouldn't be making it your problem."
    "Sami, you're allowed to feel however you feel. It would be cruel of me to ask you to stop."
    "You're not asking," she says with a fake laugh "This is a choice that I'm making. You can talk about her all you need-want to. It's cruel of me to try and tell you what you're allowed to talk about. You can talk all you want and I'll be here to listen. Whenever you need me." She is resolute in this decision "You need time, I get it. So talk as much as you need to. It's good for you."
He tilts his head to the side "But what about you?"
She nods "I'll be fine."
Simon stands and goes to meet her where she stands and grabs her hands inside his. She looks up at him with sparkling eyes. "I care about you, okay? I want you to make sure you feel good. And I do like you. I want you to remember that."
    "Thank you, but I do feel good about myself."
He puts his hand on her shoulder "But do you know that I know that I like you?"
    "I- what?" she smiles up at him
He grins back at her "What?"
They both laugh wholeheartedly, to the point where they have to stop and catch their breath.