mon amant, mon soleil

3

Beyoncé | Los Angeles, California

After I led my dad out into the garage and made sure he left my property, I made my way back into the house to go speak to Blue. I knew she was still in the studio as she hasn't come out since this morning. She's been asking Aaliyah to bring her food whenever she got hungry and even went as far as asking Milo.

Going into the elevator, I rode it down to the last floor where both of my personal studio's were held. While one was specifically mine, the second was more so for Chloe and Halle but since they've been acting and touring, they've barely used it. That lead to Blue being the one to get creative.

I didn't limit her to using it. I mean, she was sixteen. Plus, she's apart of a musical family. Of course music was going to run through her veins.

I walked towards the door and heard music playing. Not bothering to knock since she wouldn't hear me, I opened the door to see her intently working on something. She whipped her head back when she heard the door.

"Hey mom, what's up?" She asked, lowering the volume of the music. I sat in the vacant rolling chair next to her and turned to face her. "You okay baba?" I asked her. She looked at me confusingly, "of course mom, I'm fine" she told me but I can see her hesitating a bit with trying to believe her own words. "Have you talked to your dad?" I asked her and her face frowned.

Ever since we found out about Shawn's son Corey, as she got older, Blue wanted to at least try to get on an even end with him. Corey, at least. She barely acknowledged Shawn in some stances. She felt that she at least wanted to have some kind of big sister relationship with Corey so as in Shawn eyes, it was the perfect way to get Blue where he wanted to talk but my baby was too smart for that. Unfortunately, Shawn's pressure and Blue's disinterest in fixing their relationship is taking a toll on her mentally.

"I don't want to. I told the therapist that he doesn't help me. He makes me feel worse" she mumbled. I smiled sadly and reached over to take her hand, "How so?" I asked, wanting to try to figure out what to do. She sighed, fingering the sweater she was wearing, "He doesn't care about me mom. He tries to play father whenever Corey is around but after that, he just makes me feel worse" she told me.

"You tried talking to him?" I asked. She nodded, "sometime last week, he saw me talking to one of my friends outside the school when he picked up Corey and I. He didn't say anything in the car but when we got to the house, he started pressing me about if I was dating her or anything. He had that look of disgust on his face and asked if I was gay. He just made me feel really insecure about my sexuality" she told me softly.

I sighed in irritation. Not at her obviously. Shawn needs to get a fucking grip. His mother is gay, his ex wife is gay, hell, one if his sisters is gay and yet he still has this homophobia embedded deep into his mind that he makes his own daughter feel like she can't express herself? So what if she was gay?

"Baby, whether or not you like girls, that's your choice. You know Lori and I will support you along with your siblings and everyone else. Your dad is a different story" I told her sadly. She sighed and threw her box braids over her shoulder. I decided to lighten the mood and sat back.

"So, who is the girl that you were talking to?" I asked her. She snapped her head to me surprised, "Mama pleaseee" she groaned, giggling. "What? You said it now I gotta know" I told her. "Her name is Mya. She's new to our school and I was the one to show her around. Her dad is an actor and her mom is a model and decided to permanently live here" she told me. "You think she's pretty?" I asked her teasingly. She smacked her lips but smiled shyly, "yeah...she's like really pretty. She seems so down to earth too like Hollywood doesn't faze her" she told me.

Yup, my baby has a crush.

I hummed and she squinted her eyes at me. "What?" She asked me. I shook my head with a chuckle, "it's cute to see you get all hot over a girl Baby Blue" I told her and she put her hands on her face and tilted back in embarrassment. "Mom stoppp" she told me and I laughed.

"Don't worry about your dad, I'll get him to leave you alone" I told her and she nodded, "sorry I keep getting you to talk to dad, I know you don't like him" she told me and I chuckled, "I don't. I actually can't stand him but for you I will try and not kill him and have a cordial conversation" I told her softly.

***
"Shawn what the fuck is wrong with you!? You and this homophobia needs to stop. Get the stick out your ass and realize that Blue can be with whoever she chooses!" I yelled at Shawn over the phone. "Ain't nobody displaying homophobia, I asked her if she was dating the girl and she said no. Plain and simple" he told me. I rolled my eyes as I adjusted myself on the bed.

It was after we had dinner when I decided now was the time to talk to Shawn.

I heard the door open and watched as Lori came in and quietly shut the door behind her. She gave me a smile which I reciprocated and whispered who I was on the phone with. I mouth back Shawn and she twisted her nose up causing me to smile slightly.

"I think you need to stop trying to build a relationship with her. She's sixteen Shawn. This isn't the same eleven year old girl who you hurt. She's more coherent with her emotions and you aren't helping her mentally. Just let her come around and bond with Corey and leave it at that. You lost your chance to have her" I told him, hanging up the phone.

I put my phone on the dresser and sighed just as Lori came out from the bathroom with a fresh face. She got into bed next to me and placed her head on my stomach. I could see her whole demeanor was shifted from early this morning to now.

"Qu'est ce qui ne va pas mon amour?" (What's wrong my love?) I asked her as I ran my hands through her hair. She blew out a breath, "I had a...dreadful conversation with Li about her father" she told me. I rubbed her waist in a comforting manner and smiled sadly.

I didn't know much about Aaliyah's father besides what she told me all those years ago. It was a hard topic for Lori to talk about so I never asked. I knew it was only a matter of time before Aaliyah got older and started to become curious of who and where he was.

"How did it go?" I asked. She let out a huff, "good I guess? I didn't tell her stuff in depth, I just told her small things like his name and what I knew about him. I don't know where he is nor do I typically care. As long as you and my kids are safe" she told me.

I kept my hands in her hair as I felt her hands rub my thighs affectionately.

"Does she want to find him?" I asked. "No but even if she wanted to, I wouldn't know where to start. He fled that night and was never seen again" she told me, obviously angry over the situation. I placed my hands on her face, "babe calm down, if she doesn't want to find him then we are good. You told her what you wanted to know and leave it at that" I told her and she nodded, accepting defeat over the situation.

We both sighed contently. The feeling of being in each other's arms and knowing that our children were sleeping safely and peacefully was enough to wash away all the stress we both dealt with today.

Why must old wounds open up?

____________
Hi lovelies 🫶🏾.
Oh the way I'm bout to cause so much emotional damage on Lori's end 😮‍💨.
Decided to drop an early one since y'all got this to 1k in not even 24 hours like huh?
Lemme get back to writing rq cs im tryna get ahead 🫠.
Enjoy n comment n all that 🤸🏾‍♀️.