mon amant, mon soleil

8

Lori | Los Angeles, California

"Did you find anything?" I asked Tony as we sat in my study. He sighed angrily, "no, the face recognition can't find anything since the rooms were dark and so were them" he told me. I sat back in my chair.

It's been a few days since the break in and I've been determined to find out who broke into my building. I know Beyoncé told me to let the police handle it but they were taking too long. She basically forbidding me from going to France even for work because she thinks I'm going to get involved.

I mean I was but where is the trust that I wasn't huh?

"What was written on the walls again?" Tony asked me. "It was just saying that I couldn't hide anymore. I don't have anyone I know trying to take me out" I told him as I pushed myself out of my chair.

I was trying to keep my cool about the situation but I really needed to find out who was trying to get to me. I don't want to dig too deep and bring out something. Maybe it was just some people trying to scare me with the break in.

"What's up?" Tony asked when he saw my facial expression. I shook my head, "I—this situation is just making my head hurt" I told him. "Don't stress it sis, it could just be some kids trying to scare you" he told me. I nodded, ultimately agreeing but something else was clawing at me. "I know, it's just—" I paused letting out a breath.

He could sense my discomfort and sat up serious. "What's wrong?" He asked me. I let out a deep breath, "ever since my conversation with Aaliyah about...him, I just haven't been feeling the same. I-I feel like I'm I don't know relapsing back to that state and I hate it" I told him as I started to pull on my tank top starting to feel uncomfortable.

My whole body was starting to feel iffy as I felt like I was reliving old nightmares.

"Lori, he's gone. His bitch ass fled that night and I wish he didn't because I could have killed him so that you could stop worrying about him" Tony said with obvious irritation on his face. I rubbed my hands along my face, "yeah he fled but what if he's still out there? I'm not just protecting Li anymore. There is so many more people that could be victims of his crazy ass with who I care about and I can't risk—" I cut myself off with a choked sob.

His face was now just tainting my vision. His hands were felt running over my body, ultimately trying to kill me while also trying to have his way and his voice—much like nails scratching a chalk board—was blatantly making my ears bleed as I could hear his voice taunting me.

"Aye, stop thinking about him. It's gonna put you over the edge" Tony told me as he put his hands on my shoulders to stop me from spiraling and moving into a panic attack. I could feel his hands on me but I couldn't necessarily hear him. It sounded like his voice was under water. Or, I was. I honestly couldn't tell which one as it felt like my heart was beating in my ears at this point.

I didn't register that Tony had left the study and suddenly came back with Bey on his tail.

"What's wrong with her?" I could hear Bey asking as I could feel her delicately reaching for my hands. "She's panicking. Don't be too loud, I can't tell if she can hear us or not" a muffled Tony was heard. "Baby?" Beyoncé's hands touched my face.

Why does it sound like she's under water? Am I drowning?

"Lori, it's me. It's Bey" she said, forcing my head up as I was slightly nodding off. My hands were shaking and it sounded like Tony said something but it was really muffled. I heard her mutter something and the door shut. My body jumped at the sound of the door shutting. "Calm down ma lune, I had to kick Tony out so it's just us. Can you hear me?" I heard her ask and I nodded, slowly coming to my senses when I felt her hands grab mine.

My vision wasn't as spotty as it was a few minutes ago so I could make out Bey's nervous eyes frantically looking over my face to see if I was coherent.

"I-I hear you" I rasped. I watched her sigh in relief, "can you breathe?" She asked and I shrugged. I watched her take one of my hands and place it on her chest. "Follow my breathing" she told me and I nodded. She took a deep breath and prompted me to do the same which I did and she breathed out causing me to do the same.

We did that for a few times until I felt like I was okay.

We now had moved positions to lay on the big ass bean bag I had in my study that was mostly used for whenever the kids came in here. My head was laying on her chest and her hands were running through my hair.

"Can you tell me what happened?" She asked me in a soft voice. My hands played with the ends of her shirt as I took a breath. "I was talking with Tony about the break in and we were talking about possibilities of who broke in" I began. She hummed. "I-I haven't been feeling myself lately. Ever since the conversation with Liyah about her father I've just been haunted by everything I tried to leave in the past—I just had a freak out thinking that he was still alive and out that was really what triggered me" I told her.

I felt her hands pause when running through my hair. "I thought you said he was gone?" She asked, shifting a bit. "I said he fled, I don't know where he is or if he's alive and not knowing is really what made me freak out. I originally was just protecting Liyah but now I have to protect you and everyone else Bey. That man was deranged. I don't want to think of him and I tried not to but I know Aaliyah is getting curious so I can't escape him" I told her with a sigh.

I was looking down, too afraid to even look at her. "Baby look at me" I heard her tell me as her hand went to my chin. I lifted my head slowly to look at her soft eyes. She gave me a small smile, "please don't fight this...feeling on your own. I know this whole situation is stressful. I hate seeing you like this. It's a rare sight to see and it hurts me. You're my wife. You're also the maman of our children and while yes, I thank you for thinking of our safety, I need you to think for you too. You don't have to be so contain with your emotions babe, it's me. You can be as raw and honest as you want whenever you want but don't keep it in like that. When I saw you in that panicked state it scared the fuck out of me" she told me and I nodded, wiping my eyes as tears welled in them.

I moved up a bit and planted a soft kiss on her lips. "Thank you, for keeping me sane. I made a promise when we first met that I was going to keep you safe and I'm gonna abide by that promise until my last breath" I told her. She gave me a smile, "I know you will, but please let me do the same" she told me. I didn't move a muscle, not wanting her to help in any way in fear of getting hurt.

She held my gaze strongly, forcing me to not disagree with her. I hated that she could literally read my mind—well she literally knows me inside and out. So, I naturally excepted defeat and nodded my head in answer of her question. She smiled and leaned down to kiss my head.

"Thank you mon Amour"

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