Maybe The Wind Knows || Tally Hall

WHEREVER YOU GO, IS BREAKING ME SLOWLY

It was 4:00am sharp as Bora dropped me off at the Detroit airport the next morning. "Okay Lana, you good from here?" He asked as we pulled up at the entrance. "Yeah, I think so." I said, gathering my things and hopping out of the car.

Bora helped me get my luggage together, and too soon it was time to say goodbye to my roommate for the 2nd time in 4 months. I wrapped my arms around him. "Bye, hope you enjoy the peace and quiet." I laughed. "Bye Lana, it'll get lonely without you."

We parted ways soon enough, and I was on my way to check in and find my gate. I did all of the boring airport shit, going through security, bags checked, everything like that. I sat in a seat in front of my gate, sighing.

I took out my ipod and plugged in my headphones, trying to tune out the loud airport environment around me. I was surprised when Rob's voice filled my ears. 'Just Apathy' was playing. This only made me miss him more than I already did.

              rob <3
                     12/26/07 • 5:05am

lana ❤️: i know you are probably still asleep right now, but i miss you so much already

Tears threatened to fill my eyes when I thought about our goodbye last night, when he asked me if I was coming back. Of course I was going to come back. Sacramento wasn't my place, Ann Arbor was. With him, my roommate and best friend, my band, my college. Everything. I wouldn't leave anyone or anything behind, how the fuck did Avery's sister have the nerve to?

Eventually, my flight got called to board and my anxiety set in. Flying alone was nerve wrecking every single time, no matter how many times i've done it. I white knuckled my carry on as I showed the attendant my boarding pass and boarded the airplane.

I got seated at the window seat and looked down at my hands. They were shaking and I was starting to breathe heavily, the dreaded panic attack I had every time creeping up my throat. I wanted to cry, but a little 9 year old and his mother were sitting beside me so I couldn't.

The flight attendant talking about safety precautions and things that could happen on the flight wasn't helping either. I took out my phone, trying to find someone to message, but it's 6 in the morning and everyone I knew was probably asleep.

The flight attendant yapping suddenly sounded like she was underwater. Tears started to blur my vision until I couldn't see my phone screen anymore.

"Mommy? Why is that girl crying?" The child next to me said. "Shh Kevin, let's not talk about other people." The mother said as I turned off my phone and buried my head into my hands to hide my tears from the child that was humbling me.

"Is this your first time flying?" The mother asked me, as if I wasn't in the middle of a panic attack. I didn't even know if I could formulate words so I just nodded, lying to her face. It would be so damn embarrassing if I said no while acting like this.

"It's always scary the first time, but the more you do it, the less scary it will become!" The woman explained. She was dead fucking wrong. It never got easier and i've been doing this for years now. I just nodded again, acknowledging her statement while I tried to calm the fuck down.

My phone suddenly vibrated in my lap and I picked it up seemingly at the speed of light. Rob had probably answered me.

rob <3: Good morning sweetheart, I miss you more

I almost started crying harder because of how much I loved him and missed him. "Are you texting your boyfrienddddddd?" The kid next to me asked. The motherfucker had a smirk on his face, just like the one Ross always gives me when talking about Rob.