What's wrong with Nick?

chapter 3

~ Nick's POV ~

I wake up from lots of noises and beeping in the room. Charlie is still in my arms but starts waking up to from all the noise too. Then Nina rushes in, "Nick are you doing okay?" "yeah i was just sleeping, why?" i ask all confused. "Your heartrate is going up drastically, what do you feel like? are you nervous?" "i'm just feeling lightheaded and i can start hearing my heartbeat in my ears" i tell her. Charlie looks at me all worried while he gets off the bed. 

My heartrate is still going up and it's already at 140 right now, what's going on with my heart? Nina checks all my other vitals and suddenly a huge wave of chest pains rush through me and i squeal in pain. Nina gives me another dose of medication that should help my pain.

"deep breaths Nicholas" she tells me as i start breathing quicker and quicker. "i-i- c-ca-n't i-it h-h-hu-rts" i manage to say. I cramp up and grab my chest in pain while squeezing my eyes shut. I'm in so fucking much pain. The beeping becomes quicker and quicker, my ears start ringing so i cover them with my hands. 

Charlie puts in my earbuds again, he knows i hate these loud noises. Nina runs out en comes back with an inhaler again. She hands it to me and i need to breath it in again just like i had to do in the ambulance. My heartrate is at 170 bpm right now and slow deep breaths are not even close to simple to do for me right now. I try to inhale the medication in the inhaler but i can't, i can't take a full deep breath. "c-c-ca-n't" i say to Nina.

She puts the oxygen mask on me to help me breath and slowly but surely my heartrate goes down. Not nearly to a good heartrate, but it goes down to 140 again and when it's at 140 Nina hands me back the inhaler. "please try again now Nick" she says while getting the oxygen mask off of me. 

I try it again and it takes awhile but i finally manage to inhale 5 good deep breaths from the inhaler. It takes awhile for it to help but my heartrate starts getting lower again. "okay that's better Nick. I'll come back in an hour to check on you."

Nina leaves and Charlie sits on the edge of the bed next to me "what do you feel like Nick?" "i really don't know Char, one minute i feel fine and the other minute i'm gasping for air and screaming in pain because of my chest. I really don't know what's wrong with me, it's so terrifying not getting any air into your lungs." Charlie pulls me in for a hug probably not knowing how to respond and i can't blame him, it's a lot. 

There's knock on the door and then my mom turns her head around the door. "mom!" "oh baby, hi" she pulls me straight in for a hug and kisses me all over, i start tearing up and i really don't know why. My moms presence is just comforting. After me she goes and hugs Charlie too. "Mr. Farouk told me everything that happened baby, what did the doctors say?" "nothing yet." i say. "they did all these tests but i haven't heard about the results yet, the only thing i know is that my heartrate is way too high majority of the time and my blood pressure was way too low in the ambulance." i tell her. She grabs a chair and sits with us and we're just talking for a little bit until Nina comes back in. 

"Hi Nick, oh hi, i assume you are his mom" "hi yes, i'm Sarah" "Hi Sarah, my name is Nina, i am Nick's doctor and i was the one who helped him in the classroom too. We've done some tests and i wanted to share the results with you guys."

My mom nods and Nina speaks again "The test results of all the tests we did we're good, we didn't find anything. We think it's your anxiety letting you know that you're doing too much right now." i'm in absolute shock right now, this can't be serious. I decide to say my thoughts out loud "you can't be serious right? i've dealt with anxiety for so long. I know this is not just anxiety. I can feel there's something wrong" i say while tearing up. 

"isn't there anything else you can do?" my mom asks. "the only thing we can do is get him a psychiatrist and put him on anxiety medicine. I can also prescribe you the inhaler i had the use a couple times today. It helps Nick's heart slow down and breath better." Nina tells us. "aren't there more tests you can run?" Charlie asks. "no not right now. With the symptoms he has, we did all the necessary tests and we don't want to run a lot of unnecessary tests. So this is all i can do for you at the moment."

"okay then we would like to get the inhaler an the anxiety medicine and we'll see if it helps" my mom tells Nina, a little bit annoyed. "okay great i'll get everything ready for you" Nina says and then leaves. "this is ridiculous" both me and Charlie say in sync. "i know, it really is, we will try to manage and if it gets worse we're coming back for more tests" my mom tells us. 

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An hour passes and Nina comes back in again. "here is your anxiety medicine. You need to take 1 every day and the psychiatrist will call you for an appointment so you can see him every week to evaluate the medicines. And this is your inhaler, you use this whenever your heartrate is higher then 130, you need to take 5 deep breaths of these every time you use it and you can use it 3 times a day maximum. I will also give you this, you can monitor your heartrate with this if you put it on your finger." Nina explains to us. "okay understood" my mom says while i'm just sitting on the bed feeling like i'm not taken seriously right now. Why aren't they listening? something. is. wrong.

"can we go now?" i say, not wanting to be here any longer. I didn't trust doctors but all the trust i had left is gone now. I don't want to be here. "yes you're free to go now, take care Nick" Nina says and we all leave and walk to the car park. Charlie and i holding hands. Ofcourse. 

As we're walking i can feel myself getting lightheaded, i feel dizzy and everything becomes blurry. I squeeze Charlie's hand and hold on to him tighter hoping i don't fall. "Nick baby are you okay?" my mom and Charlie both stop walking and look at me, Charlie looks at me with so much worry. "n-need... t-to s-sit" i manage to say. 

they both help me sit down on a curb and Charlie hands me his water bottle and i take a few sips and then a few deep breaths. "what do you feel like?" my mom asks me. "really dizzy and lightheaded" "okay sit here for a bit and i will get the car to you" my mom leaves and i rest my head on Charlie's shoulder and he places a kiss on my head. 

My mom comes back with the car. "do you think you can stand up?" "mm i don't know to be honest" I sit up and i can feel my ears starting to ring and i start closing my eyes, everything turn black slowly put then Charlie turns my chin to him "Nick sweetheart can you hear me? try and stay awake okay?" Charlie says while kissing me. I manage to open my eyes but it's hard, i don't feel good at all.