chapter 4

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~ Nick's POV ~

We're sitting on the curb for a while until i feel a bit better. We get in the car and drive home. Unfortunally Charlie wasn't allowed to stay at mine so we drop him off and i kiss him goodbye and then we drive to our house. When we finally arrive home i go straight to my room to take a nap. I'm so tired and so much has happened that i really need to recover from this day.

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I wake up by my mom gently rubbing my back "Nicky wake up i have some dinner for you" "hmm thank you mom" i say while sitting up in the bed. "do you want to eat in bed or go downstairs?" "i'll eat downstairs with you" i say and we go downstairs together. 

We eat our dinner and then sit on the couch together watching a movie. I start to feel lightheaded and dizzy again while watching the movie. I can see the movie in a blur and my heartrate starts going up in no time. I try to hide it from my mom but i guess she could feel my body language change because she asks "are you alright honey?" i can't really speak so i just shake my head no. 

"what do you feel like? what do you need?" she asks me and i can hear she's stressed out. I hate that i'm stressing everyone out. "I'm gonna lay down" i say while getting up to go upstairs. "Nick can you stay here so i can look after you?" she says something else but i can't make up the words she's saying, my ears start ringing and everything around me is spinning. Then everything goes black.

I wake up so confused on what happened. I'm on the ground and my mom is sitting next to me "Nicky are you okay?" "hmm what's going on?" "you passed out sweetheart what do you feel like?" "lightheaded, dizzy, nauseous and really confused" "lay there for a bit, i put your legs up and i'll get you some water." 

My mom leaves to get me some water and i'm still laying here confused. I was just watching a movie? So how did i end up on the ground? My mom comes back and hands me a glass of water. "do you think you can sit up?" "i'll try" My mom helps me sit up and i feel really weak and dizzy, my mom holds me because i'm kinda wobbly. She leans me against the wall and i lean my head against it. I take a few deep breaths and try to drink my water but i'm so weak and i'm shaking so i can't do it. My mom helps me take a few sips before putting the cup down. 

"i'm so confused mom" "why honey" "i-i- was just... watching a movie? how did i end up on the ground? what happened?" "honey you passed out. You suddenly weren't feeling right and got up to go downstairs and then you just fell." "oh" i say, not knowing what else to say still confused why i don't remember any of that. 

"I think i need to go to sleep can you help me up?" my mom helps me up and goes upstairs with me probably because she doesn't trust me alone on the stairs right now and i don't blame her. I go to bed and fall asleep almost immediately.

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It's the next morning and i wake up feeling okay again. I have to go to school today so i get up and get ready for the day. I take my stupid anxiety medicine and then eat some breakfast. I start walking to the park where i meet Charlie. 

when i get to the park i can see Charlie already waiting for me. He always is, he likes to be early so he's always there when i arrive. Charlie turns around and sees me and he runs to me and i wrap him in my arms into the biggest hug. "i missed you Char" "it's not even been a day Nick" Charlie chuckles but then admits "i missed you too Nick, i've been so worried" "i'm sorry for worrying you babe" "hey no apologizing for you either Nick, it's not your fault"

Charlie kisses me and smiles. He wraps his arms around me "how do you feel?" he asks. "i feel okay right now. I'm still annoyed they sent me away i just know something is wrong and all the trust i had left in the doctors is gone now, i don't feel heard like at all. I passed out yesterday again and they can't fucking blame that on anxiety." i say getting a little mad again after rambling my feelings out. I take a deep breath "sorry Char." i breath out. 

"hey Nick you don't have to apologise for your feelings i'm serious, i get that your mad at them, i think it's absolutely ridiculous they sent you away just like that. I'm glad that you're feeling okay right now though" Char says to me and gives me a kiss. "i love you" i say with the biggest smile. We kiss again "okay we really need to go to school now or else we'll be late!" Charlie says in a little panic and i chuckle.

We walk to school holding hands and go to form together. We sit through form and then go our seperate ways "call or text me if you're not feeling good okay?" Charlie looks me in the eyes and asks me dead serious. "okay i will" i say while giving him a kiss to calm him down. We go to our lessons and meet up for lunch, but as i'm walking i can feel myself getting lightheaded again. After that my heart rate goes up quickly again and i'm getting dizzy. I get my phone out to try and text Charlie but my vision goes blurry and then everything is black again.

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"Nick! Nick can you hear me buddy?" i hear a voice say in the distance. My eyes flicker and i slowly manage to open them. Charlie and Mr. Ajayi are sitting with me, definitely panicking. "Nick can you hear me?" Mr. Ajayi asks me and i just nod. "w-what's going on?" i ask not remembering what happened. Again. "Nick you didn't meet me for lunch so i got worried and when i walked into the hallway you were laying on the ground, passed out. Do you know what happened before you passed out? What you felt like before?"

"i don't remember" i say having no idea what i felt like, it's scary not remembering that. One minute your walking and the next thing you know you open your eyes and your on the ground, it's scary. "Nick do you need anything? Do we need to call your mom?" Mr. Ajayi asks. i shake my head no. "it's fine, this happened yesterday too, i just need to sit for a minute and then i'll be okay." i tell them. They both help me sit up and i lean against a locker closing my eyes. My head hurts. "Are you in any pain?" Mr. Ajayi asks me. "my head hurts, it's pounding, i'll be fine" i tell them, not wanting anyone to worry. 

"Are you sure you just want to go on with your day? Shouldn't you just go home and rest babe?" Charlie asks me. "no i'm fine, doctors said it was nothing so i'm fine." Charlie looks at me a little dissapointed or i don't really know what kinda face it is "Nick.. You and me both know that you're not fine and that the hospital sent you away too early and that they were being absolutely ridiculous." 

"i know Char but i promise i'll be fine in a few minutes" i take a few deep breaths and ask if they can help me up. They help me up and i'm still a bit wobbly but i manage to stand up and then Charlie and i walk to our next lesson. 

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