and we played

Chapter 31

MADDIE

It's Monday and I'm happy.

Who knew that could work?

But after an epic movie date on Wednesday, an Italian restaurant on Friday and another hike on Saturday, I feel like soaring through the sky.

I glance over at Lukas in the middle of the class, holding my pen between my teeth. Guess who made hiking a weekly tradition? Us. I started loving nature, and I for sure love the fact I can spend one day of my weekends with him. We saw a waterfall last time. Lukas seems to know all the forests around, and he told me he'll choose the most beautiful places for me to see. I nodded, without telling him that any place is beautiful as long as I'm with him.

"Miss Delance?", my teacher interrupts my daydreaming.

"Yes, Mister Highton", I reply. I look at him, trying to act innocent. I've already been caught red handed, and I really don't need people knowing I'm in love with Lukas Winthrope. We are still secret, and giving the circumstances with Ash and our parents, it seems like we might be like that for a while.

"What were we talking about? As you were..."

I stop him before he finishes that sentence. Eye-fucking Lukas Winthrope. Luckily, the topic is written on the board in big shiny letters. "The school events, Mister Highton."

He raises an eyebrow at me, and then leaves me be. "Very well."

I can feel Ash's look on me, asking "What the heck?"

I only swallow hard and pay attention for some time.

As our class teacher, Mister Highton has to inform us about the school events. And being at Venier, there are a few. Halloween party coming up, and we're forced to come since we're seniors and it's our last one. Then Family Day in November, when our parents come, the clubs show a small performance, there is food and a bunch of small talk. That day is one of my least favorite, since I have to play good girl all day, and most parents talk business with other parents given who the parent body is, and only few actually talk about their children.

I mentally tune out for the rest of the period, yet make an effort not to look at Lukas again. And trust me, it's harder than it seems. Not only is he abnormally hot, but he also holds my heart.

I end up looking again.

He felt it.

Looks my way.

Our gazes meet.

He swallows hard.

And looks away.

Being secret lovers sucks.

~

I walk over to sit next to Mya at the cafeteria. Because then there's that. Mya and I started actually hanging out. Freely. With non-Lukas related stuff. Her bestie left and I never really had one, so we used to both be alone. Now we hang out.

And I quite like it.

I find her at our usual table, reading a book. She looks up as she hears my tablet cling as it reaches the table, and puts the book away, so that she can pay attention.

"What happened?", she asks directly. I don't know how she could tell.

"Is it written all over my face that I'm sad?", I ask. There are people pointing at us and whispering, "The queens" or "Serena and Blair in real life". It started happening since we started hanging out, since we're both the most well-known at Venier. We just tune it out.

"No, you're fine", she assures me. "What happened?"

"Secret lovers sucks", I whisper, resting my head on my palms and starting to rub my temples.

She sighs, starting to nod. "Sure seems like it. What happened?"

"I can't even fucking look at him", I let out. "Forget holding hands or kissing."

"Oh", she lets out sad, seeming to actually feel sad for me. "I'm really sorry."

"It's not your fault", I mumble, taking my fork and starting to eat my salad. Mya does the same. I almost choke on a random carrot as I see Lukas enter the cafeteria. His eyes meet mine, my heart does the jump, he looks away.

"Smile", Mya whispers, reminding me there's a part I need to play, for a bunch of dozen eyes are looking at me.

I put a fake smile on as I drift my gaze away from him and to the salad.

Lukas sits at the table with the soccer guys. That table works wonders, I swear. No matter how much they hate each other, both Ash and Lukas sit there without killing themselves. Either the table is lucky, or the space is a bit too public, since that table is like a national sight for Venier's eyes.

Not for mine, apparently.

However, I do notice Lukas stand up. I do notice him walk over to where Mya and I are sitting. Unlike those American high school movies were the popular girls have their whole clique at their table, bunch of minions around holding their bags and keeping their makeup, Mya and I don't do that. Yes, we are the most popular girls at school. But we enjoy eating the two of us. For it means less minutes in which we have to lie.

"Hey", he says, looking at her. I know he is not supposed to talk to me in public. That we're supposed to hate each other. But him not looking at me fucking hurts.

"Hi", Mya responds, playing along. More eyes looking. The golden couple. Talking. After breakup. That means drama. And as it happens, Venier feeds on it.

He comes closer to her ear to whisper something. Yes, I can notice Ash cutting Lukas open with his gaze. I can see the tension in his eyes. Mya nods, and pulls out her book, placing it on the table. I can see him turn the page, the movement ever so calculated, that his hand brushes mine without making it obvious. I look up. He doesn't meet my gaze, but I notice him nod softly.

That brush was meant.

My heart grows in my chest.

Lukas' mouth twitches ever so minimally. He then takes out a folded piece of paper placing it in the book. Mya nods as she closes the book. He stands back up straight, says goodbye and leaves.

What was that note?

I keep offering Mya questioning gazes, but she only smiles at me. A feet hitting me under the table. "Play along." She doesn't need to say it for me to get it.

It's the middle of the break and we're talking about something completely else, as she says: "Hey, you really need to see this quote in the book. Had me smiling harder than an APOLLO win."

I started getting used to her F1 references, but I do not get it now. She's reading a book called "Power". What do you smile at? How to best destroy an opponent or how to build an empire?
She hands me the book and I see the page she opened it at has the note. She keeps the attention on her by starting to apply makeup, with an extra bit of spice and sexy factor, so that I'm free to open it.

"You know how much it pains me not to be able to kiss you when you look at me like that? It might kill me. I love you, Daisy. I can't wait til I'm able to personally say it to you again. I'll do it extra much for all the times I wished I could but had to stop."

I almost tear up at that. I look at him, he is talking to one of his friends. But as if feeling my gaze, his eyes meet mine. He smiles. For one second. For one second, it's only me and him in the room. For one second, I know he's mine. For one second, I allow myself to smile back.

One second.

It's enough to make a heart beat again.

"Thank you", I whisper to Mya, also as a sign that she can stop her drama makeup session.

She smiles at me and we continue talking.

I carefully fold the note back, keeping it tight in my hand.

In my head, I keep replaying that one second.