In the aftermath of a decade-long marriage, Peter contemplates divorce from Luke, driven by newfound feelings for someone else. As the two navigate the heartbreak and shared space, Luke begins to heal while Peter grapples with the realization of wha...
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I'm sweating bullets and it's all for good reason. It's not every day that you sit alone in your dining room waiting for who was once the love of your life so you can tell them your decade-long relationship is over–that you want someone else. I'm about to break my husband's heart and just the thought of it makes me hurl because I love Luke; I still do. But I'm not in love with him.
I think of Gabe. Young sweet Gabe. That makes me feel better about my decision. The thought of finally being with him after denying ourselves what we truly desire sets my skin on fire. He's so sexy and young and sweet, but he's also kind and lovely. Gabe makes me feel things I haven't felt with Luke in so long, and I crave them.
Gabe makes me feel needed and in power at all times. And yes, being a Paralegal at my firm means I'm the boss and I'm always in control of everything, but where with interns I'm stoic and straight to the point, with Gabe –from day one– I've felt the need to smile whenever I see his pretty face and kind eyes.
We've never dared to act on anything. Hell, I don't even know for sure that he feels how I feel, but if his eyes tell me anything it's that he does, he feels the pull, the need between us.
Yes, breaking up with Luke is the right thing to do. He can find his very own Gabe so I can go on to build a life with mine. If anything I'm doing him a favor by setting him free. He can go on and be happy. He deserves it as much as I do.
Luke and I met when he was five and I was six. His family moved in next door to our place in a big house that had been empty for years and had been under construction for a few months before. I was a curious boy and always wanted to see how the house looked on the inside so the second I saw the 'grown-ups' had a boy I could play with, I fulfilled my dream and finally saw the house. What I didn't see was that this boy would become my best buddy, eventually my first crush, the first —and only— man I've made love to. From there he became my boyfriend, my fiancé until finally, I got to call him my husband.
Thinking about the pain this will cause him makes me feel like the biggest jerk but I also know that continuing our marriage when I want out would make him resent me, maybe even hate me, and that's something I couldn't live with. My Luke is too important in my and my family's lives and I can only hope that after the pain is gone he can accept that we remain in each other's lives.
I'm doing this. I really am. I'm taking the first step toward living a life I've never lived before because I know we've belonged to each other since the minute Luke and I met. Then why are you leaving him, Peter? says my subconscious, How come you're about to hurt him more than he's ever hurt before?
"Honey, I'm home..." There he is, so bright and light and cheerful. Usually whenever he sings those words I reply with my own cheesy line, but today I didn't.
I guess it's time to put it all out on the table for him and change both our lives. Let's just hope he understands me and sees that I'm not doing this for me... I'm doing it for both of us.
