Trouble in Paradise

Chapter XVI - Peter

 I have to watch Luke hug that guy and my blood boils inside me.

Someone sighs and I remember I'm not alone. Wells... Why is he still here?

"I know what you're thinking, Peter. Which one of them is hotter, right? Imagine how hot their sex will be." Wells leans forward and whispers, "Hurts, doesn't it? Seeing what you gave up on and how he'll never be yours again?"

I growl like an idiot. "No! Luke won't go to bed with that man. He's never been with anyone unless I'm there with him."

"Did you think he'd be celibate forever after you? Did you really think you wouldn't have to see him moving on? That he wouldn't forget about you?"

No. I knew I would have to, just not so soon. Not my Luke. Not the one I've always loved.

"Look at him, Peter. He's no longer yours," Wells says as if reading my thoughts. "You threw him in the trash but someone else is seeing him for his true value, and that's something you will never recuperate. You messed up, Peter. You'll live the rest of your life knowing you had it all and threw it away because you thought you deserved more."

By the time Wells is done and leaves me there like the idiot I am, Luke and that guy are gone. I didn't anticipate this rage. I didn't think I would be this hurt, this upset.

Seeing Luke arrive home today with so much light in his eyes and laughing with his best friend was a punch to my stomach. It's not that I want him to be unhappy, but lately, I've felt something is missing and I thought maybe he could be feeling it too. I guess he isn't.

Luke looked so different today and I wasn't seeing it at first but as he walked down the driveway I saw that he was wearing different clothes and his hair was styled differently. Luke and I have always shared the same sense of style. Our family always jokes that we got married just so we could share clothes because we dressed the same.

Today he looked so carefree and not like the all-put-together law-abiding citizen I've always known. It's like he's killing the Luke I've always loved, except this new version of him has me just as drawn to him. He looks like a puzzle I'm dying to solve.

What made him change?

I imagine Luke driving my car looking how he does today and not a single gay man could ignore him. I'm a jealous man, I'm driven by it. And today my jealousy has reached a new level because I now know the reality of my mistake. It's been a month, or two since I asked my husband for a divorce, and back then I was so confident that I wanted to try something new. I was set on discovering what else was out there when, as Wells puts it, I always had it all. And I'm not just feeling this way now. It seems every day that brought me here has served to teach me a lesson about what I gave up on while showing Luke everything he could have.

I'm jealous, and maybe it is that jealousy that drives me to do insane things. To think of anything that could bring Luke back to me. The first thing I need to do is get Luke out of that date. I hear him and Wells talking about where that guy was taking him so I could join them and piss them off until Luke comes back home with me. He'd hate me, that's for sure.

No. I can't show up there, I already did at the club and only managed to make a fool out of myself, although that doesn't mean I can't convince someone else to do my dirty work.

I dial Marco's phone and wait impatiently for him to pick up. He does and I hear a door being shut in the background driving away the noises of someone screaming. "Marco? What the hell was that?"

"It was nothing, Peter. What do you want?"

"It was nothing? Then why do you talk to me like I'm the one screaming my lungs out at you?"

"Sorry man," he sounds exhausted. "Just... shit going on at home. Anyway, what's up, what are you up to?"

"I need a favor."

"Of course, man, what's up?"

I tell my best friend everything that just happened. He's sick of listening to me whining, complaining about Gabe, and telling him over and over how I miss Luke so he isn't that surprised when I tell him what I want.

"You want me to show up and ruin their date," he doesn't ask me, he tells me. "You want me to go and ruin the first chance your husband has to move on. Are you, Peter, are you fucking insane?" I start protesting but he's not having it. "How many times did I tell you you'd end up regretting this, Peter? Didn't I tell you not to jump into bed with this Gabe kid so fast after dumping Luke? Jesus Christ, Peter, how are you a successful lawyer when you can't even make the right decisions for yourself?"

I don't know what's going on with Marco and he clearly doesn't want to tell me. "I'm sorry, Marco. I don't know what's going on with you, man, but you know I'm here for you right? Whatever's going on, just let me know. I didn't mean to bother you, call me later if you want to talk."

Marco doesn't respond right away and I feel like an asshole for bothering him. Marco is the closest I have to a brother. I wait for him to say goodbye before I hang up but instead, he clears his throat surprising me with his mood switch.

"Alright, tell me where to go. I'll go try and get you your man back. What's the plan?"

Together we come up with every plan possible but being men as we are and not being the brightest at matters of the heart, we end up listening to Marco's younger brother and agreeing on his plan instead. Not everyone knows it but theater was a major part of Marco's life through college. It's because of that that his brother suggested we go on with his plan because my friend can basically cry on demand. I don't know how he does it.

I know I'm an idiot for going along with this. Luke's always said my fun side is my worse side because I'm ridiculous and this just serves to prove him right, but what else is there to do when I'm learning that maybe I don't want to have a new life? Again, call it jealousy, call it insanity. I call it waking up and realizing I have a small window to get my husband back.

Later, I'll end up calling it 'too late.'