Trouble in Paradise

Chapter VIII - Peter

— PART II —

How it Started
Sixteen years ago

My hands are sweaty and I can't control my nerves. This doesn't feel good and I need Luke. He always knows how to calm me down and give me back control. I feel a tremble that only one person in this world can help settle and he isn't here yet. Why isn't he here?

For a while now I've felt something for Luke. He's my best friend, he adores me, but what if I mess up what we have by confessing I see him as more? No, no, that can't happen. I can't lose him. Luke is mine. He's mine. He told me he was. He won't leave me. He won't leave me.

"Peter, can I come in? Your mom said you were in your bed–" Luke's words stop and he runs my way and hugs me. I don't know if he opened the door or it was already opened, I just know he's here.

"Jesus, Peter, what's wrong? Talk to me!" He pulls my head to his chest making me feel small like it happens whenever I get like this. "Come on, Peter, count with me. One, two, three..."

I count to ten with him and feel my breathing less forced. The entire time Luke keeps his hand on me running it softly up and down my spine even as he helps me sit on my bed and kneels in front of me. His hands are still running up and down my body. That always fixes whatever is broken in me.

"Peter, did something happen?"

With the subtlety of a toddler I blur out, "I don't wanna lose you!" while shaking my head from left to right.

"Hey, hey! What are you talking about? You're not losing me. You never will. Talk to me."

Still feeling out of sorts I tell him, "I love you so much," and pull him up until he gets the drift and stands all the way up so I can wrap my arms around his waist and hold him tight.

"I love you, too, buddy," he says and I pull back.

"No, no, I love you," I repeat, "I love you like... more." I begin and don't stop. "I–I've always liked you and I didn't know what it meant but then Marco, he told me maybe I was in love with you and I laughed but Luke I... I laughed, but I didn't want to laugh because maybe it was true and then I wondered if I could kiss you and my body got excited and I jerked off. I liked it so maybe I'm gay but I also love you so much, but I want to do naked things with you and oh my god, you're going to stop being my friend. No, no, forget all I said, I'm joking. Yeah, it's a joke, Luke, haha..."

My incoherent rants have never phased Luke and that ain't changing today. He waits until I breathe deeply a couple of times after spewing all that out without stopping. He tucked two fingers under my chin pulling my head up and I found him grinning. Great! Now he's laughing at me.

My hands shake some more but Luke puts his hands on top of mine and that centers me again. Then he kneels again and says, "Peter?" I hum, "Thank. Fucking. God!" Now I frown, "If what you said is true, thank god because I've been jerking off to the image of you and it's all I can think about when I'm awake. Well, that, and the fact that I'm so stupidly in love with you that Wells rolls his eyes whenever I mention your name."

I could make a snarky comment about Wells but I couldn't even bother. Luke loves me. He said he loved me. I smiled like an idiot and Luke did the same, shaking his head. I was still shaking but now it was a mix of nerves and excitement. I threw my body at Luke and hugged him hard—he did the same to me. Our hug lasted forever and I would've been fine with it lasting forever more. Instead, I pulled back and cleared my throat before gathering the courage to ask what I wanted. "Can I kiss you?"

Luke smiles again —God, I love his smile— and asks, "Have you ever kissed anyone else?" I shook my head but then fire rose within me and I asked, "Have you kissed someone else?" He knew it was going to irritate me if he said yes but he never lies to me so when he says, "No. I've been holding out for you," everything inside me pulled me toward him like a magnet and our teeth classed together as we shared our first kiss.

I wanted to devour Luke. Wanted to kiss him so hard it hurt and that almost sent me into another nervous break, except Luke didn't allow it, because when I heard the sigh he let out and felt his body fall pliant against me, I was done for. I knew then and there that this man who meant the entire world to me was one day going to be my husband. That I'd make sure of.

No one will ever own Luke's heart. It will be mine forever.

Luke was born to be mine and if I wasn't so damn in love with him, I would've worried that my obsession with him—my need to own him body and soul, was too intense for me to control it.

"Peter," Luke panted and his mouth left mine, "Peter, you're hard. You're hard for me."

Damn right, I was hard for him. "I can't stop it from happening," I tell him. "I... I want to be with you but I don't know how. I've never—"

"Sssh," he shut me up, pressing two fingers to my lips. "I don't know either, but one day we'll learn together. I promise. Now kiss me some more."

I did as he asked. I looked to my right to confirm he had closed my bedroom door behind and once I was sure of it I didn't hold back. Luke and I kissed and talked for hours. The sun went down with us in bed learning how to kiss and how to roam our hands around the other's body. The more I touched the more I feared I could never let go, but I'll worry about that later and ask for help if I had to.

Luke loved me and I believed him.
Everything was right in the world.