Trouble in Paradise

Chapter XX - Peter

"Did I just fucking hear what I think I fucking heard?"

I'm fuming and as always, there's only one person to blame. Wells fucking Astor.

"Come on, man, they're just messing around to get in your head. You don't think Luke would do that after forbidding you from bringing Gabe, do you?"

"No. I don't know," I sigh, "I want to believe he wouldn't."

"Don't let them play you. I'm sure they just want to annoy you. Shit, they probably want to annoy me, after what I did to him on his date."

Marco's problems flew out the window when Luke walked upstairs with a bottle of whipped cream, even though Marco was the reason I took the day off and I should be listening to him.

For months Marco has suspected that his wife is cheating on him, but he never got any proof and Beth swore she didn't have anyone else, but this morning when Beth was showering her phone rang and when Marco picked up the call from an unsaved number, he heard "Are you on the way, love?" and his world came down on him.

The man on the other side of the phone went silent when Marco asked who he was then said it was a wrong number. When Beth was confronted, she too, said it was probably a wrong number, but my friend was having trouble believing her and called me in tears and anger asking if he could just come to my place and talk to me about it.

I almost let the Wells/Luke issue go when I hear a bang upstairs followed by a loud as fuck moan that made me see red. I jump off my seat shouting, "They're doing it! They're fucking in my house—"

"It's his house too—"

"Fuck. That!"  Isn't Marco supposed to be on my side? Why is he making a case for Luke? "I'm going to kill them! I'm going to fucking kill Wells!"

Another moan —a louder one— can be heard echoing through the house.

"I'm going upstairs!"

One step in I feel Marco's hand on my tricep pulling me back toward him. "Don't do something you'll end up regretting, man. Can you not see that they're trying to upset you?"

I see it. I fucking hear it. Yes, I've brought Gabe to the house. That was before he told me not to bring him. Luke said I could bring anyone except Gabe, yet I haven't brought anyone period and this is outrageous.

"Peter, come on, sit down." I groan and complain. "Stop being irrational and think for a second. What is the one thing you've hated the most since Luke and Wells became friends?"

I pace the floor holding tight the grip of my fists on my hair while I squeeze harder giving myself a headache. "I hated it from the beginning, you know that. You know Wells takes too much of his time, too much of his attention. His attention should be mine!"

"Ok, no, that's not true. Is there any point in your plan where you stop thinking of Luke as yours? He isn't anymore, man. You have Gabe now."

"Fuck Gabe! Fuck that little gold digger! You know what he asked me?" I stop pacing to face my friend, "He had the nerve to ask me if I could pay the rest of the lease on his apartment so he can save the money to have a 'nice vacation in Florida' during spring break."

I'm so angry I'm shaking. Where does he get off on asking me for money when first, we're not in a serious relationship, and second, it's not like he doesn't get paid well in my firm. I pay my people more than any other fucking firm in Boston.

"Luke would've never done something like that. I gave Luke everything, I paid for everything, but he never asked me for it. Luke would never try to take advantage of me. Never!"

"Yet you left him for Gabe."

Marco's words make me stop dead in my tracks, hitting me with the realization of what I've truly done. I've said that so many times but as Marco continues I understand that I'm not going to stop loving Luke.

"Soon he'll start going out with more men and at some point, he'll get laid, he'll get completely over you, and he'll find someone who deserves him. I thought you wanted to see him happy. I thought you wanted Luke to sign the divorce papers and allow you to be free to explore whatever fucked up stuff Luke couldn't give you."

"I can't see him with someone else." The words are almost inaudible and Marco asks me to repeat myself. "I can't see him with anyone else!"

I can't. I made a mistake. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, I made the worst mistake. I thought I would find what I saw in that movie. I thought we needed to see what was out there and be happy in separate ways. How stupid was I? Luke doesn't belong with anybody else and neither do I. I allowed myself to be blinded by a new toy when the one that's been always there for me, through everything and beyond, was what I needed all along.

"If I lose him," I choke in my words, "if I have to live the rest of my life without him because of one mistake, Marco, I don't think I could ever forgive myself. That's not a life I want to live."

Marco always knows the right words to say so I listen even if what he says defends Luke in all actions and not once is he on my side. I don't know why he's been so sensitive toward Luke's situation —as he puts it— when I need him to be on my side and tell me that everything will be ok, that Luke will forgive me, and that I will get him back.

Allowing the love of my life to suffer through something I doubt I could live through myself is something I will always regret whether I get him back or not. I did wrong to even look Gabe's way when all my attention should've been put into my marriage.

"You have to help me get him back."

Marco doesn't even reassure me.

I calm down but in the back of my head, I still think of my husband and my thoughts don't stop. Not while watching a golf tournament. Not while I laugh half-heartedly at Marco's attempt at a joke.

About two hours later after I had forgotten that Wells was in my house I heard them coming down the stairs giggling like little girls. It has to be on purpose because Luke knows I hate giggles—both the word and the sound.

I look at Marco and he shakes his head knowing I want to do something. To tell Wells to get the fuck out and never come back.

My teeth grind when Wells says, "Thank you, baby boy, that was some grade A pounding you gave me," and I go to get up and go strangle Wells until he takes his last breath but my friend stops me and thank God he did, or else I would've missed the chance to hear Luke answering, "Stop trying to piss him off. He knows we would never fuck."

My heart comes down from my throat to my chest knowing they didn't do anything and I should've known it was Wells fucking around. I swear I can't stand him.

On the way back upstairs Luke looks my way and for the first time since I opened my mouth to ruin his life, he gives me one of those precious smiles. The one I miss so much.

"You have to help me, please," I beg Marco. "Help me get him back, even if it's the last thing you do for me. Please, help me." 

Because I'm going to do everything in my power to be the only one to ever make Luke smile like that for the rest of his life.