The Idol She Loved (Taekook × Reader)

N I N E T E E N

3 am..

I again switched my position to the left, but sleep is nowhere to be found. my mind is still stuck on Sara and her words.

"I don't even know if you see me as your best friend anymore."

"do you even know the meaning of friend?"

"why do you care? you don't need to act like this."

"you push people who actually care about you."

"you don't care about them. you don't care about their feelings, emotions."

"nothing matters to you."

"your ego is everything for you."

My head is hurting so bad but i can't sleep. I got up from my bed and went to the balcony. Maybe the moon, stars, the dark night and the silence might help.

I opened the door and the cold wind touched my skin and I shivered a little. It's cold outside but I did care less. I went towards the railing limping a little. My foot still hurts.

I stand there feeling the cold breeze and night silence. it helps me always to release my stress.

But I don't understand why Sara invited members knowing that I won't go in front of them. she doesn't know the reason yet but still.

Members.

Unknowingly a tear fell from my eyes and a smile crept on my face thinking about them. how they helped me in every situation. I thought every single moment I spent with them when they didn't even know about my existence. They mean everything to me. My everything.

But what am I doing in return? Ignoring them?

My smile faded away thinking about it. I looked at the shining moon. Will they forgive me? Will I ever be able to forgive myself?

"hey" I heard someone behind my back.

I wiped my tears and turned around to see Jungkook.

What is he doing here? he didn't sleep or what?

"hi" I said in an inaudible voice. he smiled a little and my heart beat fastened.

He was wearing a black sweat pants with a black T-shirt covering his abs tightly. His hair was messy. His brown locks were falling on his eyes and he ran his fingers through it. His piercings were making him hotter. He bit his lip out of habit. And Oh God Bias Wrecker for a reason.

We just stood there looking at each other. You know right now what I want? I just want to run and hug him tightly and say how tired I am. how sad and vulnerable I am. I'm not doing anything on purpose. I want to say all these but I wish I could.

I blinked my tears not wanting them to fall in front of him. He has already seen my side, I don't want him to know anymore.

I broke the eye contact. This is an awkward moment. We stood there awkwardly not knowing what to do.

"ah.. uh.. umm.. y-you haven't slept yet?" He asked and I shook my head a little as no.

"hmm" he replied and stood beside me watching the moon.

I watched him. Moonlight falling on his face made him looks ethereal. he's so pretty. I averted my gaze to the moon again clearly not wanting to look like a creep.

"about you?" I asked after a moment of silence.

"hmm?" He looked at me and raised his brows.

"I mean why you're awake?"