All I Want is Gone.

The Beginning of the End

       Sejanus held his breath, hoping that the inevitable worst would not come. He was at the door to his new future, a future in which Coriolanus would welcome him, and they would become peacekeepers together. Sejanus had convinced his father to let him go with Coriolanus, along with taking his diploma. That was the very same diploma that he clutched in his hands desperately while he waited for courage.

His hands grasped the cold, hard door handle, and as he pushed it slowly, it creaked open, almost warily. Sejanus watched Coriolanus' wistful expression as he stared out the window. When Coriolanus finally noticed him, he jumped forward. "Sejanus! God, Sejanus. Why are you here?" Sejanus barely registered what Coriolanus was doing until he hugged his arms tight around Sejanus. Flushing, Sejanus turned to stare at Coriolanus. It was just a hug, he told himself. "Coryo, I brought, um..." Coriolanus looked irritated for a moment, and Sejanus wondered whether he had crossed a boundary.

"I brought your diploma." "What?" Sejanus felt his adams apple bob. "Well...you can't get into University without one, right?" Coriolanus looked so angry, Sejanus instinctively wanted to inch away. "Well, It's pretty fucking obvious that I won't be getting one now, Sejanus! Did you seriously think you could just waltz in here calling me Coryo, give me a diploma, and I'd be fine? Did you seriously fucking think that?"

Sejanus started backwards, surprised. "I'm, I-I'm sorry..." Tears were threatening to dip from his face if he didn't get out of there. "I just thought you might want it. I'm s-sorry I came." Sejanus quietly made his way towards the other side of the train, glancing back to see if Coriolanus had followed him. He hadn't. Sejanus sat miserably on his bed, and as he fingered the sheets, he realized that it would never happen. Coriolanus would never be his. "This could never be ours."

Sejanus realized he had said that out loud, but it was quiet enough that nobody could hear. No one would ever hear. Laying back on his moderately soft pillow, Sejanus fell asleep.

"Sejanus?" Sejanus sat up, hand to his mouth. Was he drooling? No, he wasn't drooling. That was good. Coriolanus smiled at him. "You look funny when you sleep." Sejanus smiled to himself, and even though he was mad, it was almost impossible to not stare into the blond boy's eyes.

"Look, Sejanus, I'm really sorry. I was shitty, and you were just trying to do this nice thing, and-" Coriolanus flopped onto Sejanus' bed, hands to his face. Sejanus could almost feel the temptation to reach over and kiss him. To stare down at him and do more. "Hey," Sejanus said. "It's okay, you know? You've got to leave your family, your friends, and I know plenty about leaving the one place that was your home."

Coriolanus smiled him in that way that made his insides crack a spark and light on fire. "Thanks," he whispered, his breath hot on Sejanus' ear. "Honestly, I was contemplating suicide before you walked in." This probably wasn't a good thing, but it made Sejanus feel warm and fluttery.