Ex's to Lovers

Chapter 7

In which Ivan is made aware of the circumstances wherein he suddenly has an ex

Alfred had forgotten one other, very important person, who also knew that Alfred hadn't either dated, nor broken up with, Ivan.

"So," Ivan greeted Alfred as he tiredly walked out of the bathroom after his discussion with Mathew, "We are ex's now?" 

Alfred groaned loudly in response as the one person he didn't want to find out about this confronted him. Of course, he should have known Ivan would eavesdrop. "Give us a second" didn't work on Ivan, since Ivan seemed to think that taking an order from Alfred made him lose dignity. Ivan beamed, speaking in his scary-but-cheerful voice. 

"That is funny, because I do not remember us dating?"

If it was someone else, Alfred may have taken the time to painstakingly explain and admit how his mistake brought them to this point, but Alfred wasn't going to admit he made a mistake to Ivan, of all people, so naturally, he blamed Ivan instead.

"This is your fault!"

Alfred accused, which Ivan took exactly as one would expect, which is to say, terribly. Almost instantly the temperature around him seemed to drop and Ivan's eye twitched in a way that was definitely not a good sign.

"Oh?"

Ivan inquired, smiling in the threatening manner exclusive to him. That infuriated Alfred further, and he remembered the sequence of event that led to this.

"Because you filled my locker with sand, I had to get back at you, and because I did that your sister thinks we're ex's and so does the whole school!"

Alfred griped furiously, remembering how his older brother Arthur had made him vacuum his school bag out because of all the sand he'd brought home with him. Normally Ivan would take this chance to remind Alfred that the sand incident only happened because Alfred had bedazzled Ivan's binder with Michelle's stolen bedazzler, but something else Alfred said caught his attention. 

"My sister does?" Ivan asked in concern, "Natalya? Or Katyusha?" 

This was a matter of concern to him because, while his older sister would, of course, be on his side, his younger sister would be more likely to skin and tar Alfred and then demand Ivan marry her to prevent this ever happening again. As far as Ivan was concerned, Natalya thinking Alfred was his ex would put the both of them in a very bad situation. Alfred, who knew this, put a few steps in between him and Ivan, just in case Ivan felt like strangling him, as he answered. 

"Nat." 

Ivan paled, then glowered. Alfred started to make a run for it, but Ivan caught him by his collar with a short snarled demand, for once his signature beam completely gone. And so, Alfred was forced to admit the whole story, leaving out some important details like who had suggested the prank (Gilbert might be a weasel but he was Alfred's friend) and the fact he had said Ivan was his ex, making it sound like Natalya had simply misheard him. Throughout the story Ivan's face went through a series of vivid expressions that told Alfred clearly what Ivan thought of the prank, Natalya's reaction, and  Alfred's lie, though Alfred was in no way skilled at reading the atmosphere. 

Finally, Ivan released Alfred, regarding him with a thoughtful expression as he processed the story. Seeing as Ivan didn't look like he currently wanted to punch Alfred, Alfred stopped trying to escape temporarily. Ivan scanned Alfred up and down, and Alfred stiffened, trying to figured out why Ivan was being so Wierd. After a moment, Ivan asked Alfred a question, his voice full of awe and pure curiosity. 

"How are you still alive?" 

It was a good question. If only Alfred had an answer. He shrugged in return. 

"Dunno dude. She didn't seem all that mad actually, though. Maybe because I told her it was you who broke up with me?" 

Alfred had no shame in admitting he'd blamed the breakup on Ivan, and Ivan didn't question it. Both of them knew they were only ants in front of Natalya's mountainous anger, and Alfred had no doubt that Ivan would rather be the one dumping rather than being dumped anyways, even if it was fake.

Ivan looked like he was thinking about something seriously, and his expression was giving Alfred the chilling feeling of something about to go wrong.