Luck be a Lady

19: Overcome

After I finished eating the Bento Miss Doriyaku made for me, I took slow sips of the Chamomile tea she made me and felt my mind at ease and my tears gone. 

"I-I'm sorry for crying like that, I-I didn't think I'd cry like that." I mumbled. 

"You don't need to apologize for crying, you are your own person, and you're allowed to do whatever you want." she told me, only leading me to become as to how she figured me out so fast. 

"U-Um... H-How did you know I was being cautious when I eat?" I asked. 

"Well, for starters, I'd never heard of someone tell me that they'd get an upset stomach from eating the cafeteria food, but I figured something was wrong since you seemed more excited to eat packaged Ramen over freshly made food. After that first day of you having lunch here with me, I went home and did a little searching to know that it had to be an eating disorder. So if you don't mind me asking, Sophie, what happened for you to become scared to eat?" she asked. 

I didn't know what to say at first, because I thought I tried my best not to let anyone notice how I act around food. But I guess it's blatant for Miss Doriyaku to see and figure out, so instead of hiding it, I took a deep breath and faced my fears.

"I... I was poisoned by some classmates 2 years ago–when I was in Junior High–due to a prank in which they gave me cookies they made. And I think because they knew I'd eat those cookies right away, they put poison in them and my body reacted right away. I was sent to the hospital, and since my Uncle is a doctor at the hospital I went to, he fixed me up and flushed all the poison from my body. But because I was poisoned like that, I ended up facing this fear of eating things that were made by someone else. I... I can't eat food made by someone else, and I can only eat packaged food that was made in a factory. My disorder is called ARFID; Avoidant/Restrictive Food–" 

"Intake Disorder." she finished, making me nod. 

"M-Mn. Because of this disorder, I basically have to starve myself for long hours until I'm by myself and can eat whatever packaged food I want. I've tried several times to eat food in public, but I always have to run and go to the bathroom to puke and then I just don't wanna eat for the rest of the day. T-The only food I can eat that is made by someone, is my own, but I don't eat my own food that often." I explained.

"Then... does your family know?" I shook my head as I clenched the mug in my hands. 

"No. Only my Aunt and Uncle know since they were the ones that saved me when I was poisoned, and because I didn't want my dad–or my siblings to worry about me–I begged my Aunt and Uncle not to tell anyone. So... I've been living like this for 2 years and... I feel embarrassed that my body is like this." 

"Oh Sophie–" 

When I lifted my head, I wasn't expecting Miss Doriyaku to actually wrap her arms around me and hug me, giving me a warm embrace... an embrace that I haven't experienced in a really long time. 

"Ah– M-Miss Doriyaku–" 

"You should not feel embarrassed about something like this, as I can tell this is something that you can't help. You have no right to think that way, and it's okay for you to be scared." she expressed as she started stroking the back of my head; something my mom used to do to me when I was upset about something when I was a kid.

When she released me from that hug, she made sure to look me in the eyes and smiled at me sweetly. 

"Like every disorder, there is always a solution, and even if it takes longer to find that solution, I will help you. I don't want you to continue having this fear of eating, because I can tell that this will hinder you from going far in life, especially if you wanna be a hero. Even if there are days that you don't come here to have lunch with me, I will make lunch for you and help you get comfortable with eating other people's food again, okay?" she comforted, and I felt astonished by this.