Blue Summer

Chapter 13: Love is tough

"I remember my father told me that love is the most beautiful feeling in the world, and days before he was to die, he said love is a captor that keeps the ones who fall in love hostage, not letting them do things freely. He hated the chains love put on him."

Misao was looking at Ibuki with a confused look. Her face was blank. Ibuki's head was low, and he did not see her confusion. He waited for a response, but none came. He spoke nothing in return either. He got up and stared at Misao for a moment. Nothing yet came from her. So, Ibuki sighed and, speaking no more, left the place. And Misao did not stop him.

Ibuki walked on the footpath, his head bent, staring at the ground. He clenched his fists and thought, "Did I say something off-putting? Or offensive?"

Then he lifted his head and spoke aloud, "Or maybe I got my feelings wrong. Never have I felt such, so I don't know what I feel. What does love feel like, though?"

Then he sunk again. He kept walking like that until he arrived at the same old rusty building, and he paused. He looked up at the building and went up to the top after a moment of staring. Why the building existed there as it was he knew not. It was abandoned, but it still stood its ground. No one bothered about it, either to end its legacy or reconstruct its legacy. What the purpose the building served before it was left to rot, Ibuki did not know. Passerby rarely questioned its presence as an empty building that awaits someone to end their life. The building, to Ibuki, seemed the most welcoming entity out there; to him, it was more welcoming than God. It did not question why he was sad but listened keenly to his agony. It did not stop him from making choices he wished like Misao did.

Ibuki sat cross-legged near the edge, watching a bright day pass by until the sun sank behind the water and the stars began appearing. Then Ibuki got up from the place and left it, but willing to return again.

Misao, after Ibuki had left, returned home. She spoke to no one, not even her brother or her friend. She went and lay in her bed, playing with her fingers, trying to disentangle her thoughts and feelings. She turned and twisted in her place but said nothing, not even to herself. Finally, having had enough of her thoughts, she called Youra.

And there she stood, staring at Misao, pouting and rolling in her bed in frustration. Youra kept asking what had happened, but all Misao said was that she did not know, and the very fact that she did not know drove her crazy. She always knew everything about herself, so how come she was confused now? It had never happened to her.

"Youra! Please help me!" She cried.

"I will. Only when I know the problem." Youra replied.

Misao sat upright and, taking a deep breath, said, "Ibuki said he likes me. What does he mean? And why could I not respond when he said it?"

Youra raised an eyebrow and responded, "Uh, why didn't you ask him what he means by that?"

"I don't know! See, this is the problem. The problem is I don't know what is wrong with me!"

"Misao, my dear friend, why don't you just ask Ibuki? Speak to him! You cannot ask me; I don't know what is in his heart. Only he knows, and you will have to ask him."

Misao, however was feeling reluctant to ask Ibuki anything. She sank into her pillow when her phone rang. It was Uno.

He wanted to let her know he planned to take her out for lunch tomorrow at a nearby mall. Misao agreed and then turned to Youra to tell her. Youra nodded and replied, saying that she, too, was planning to hang out with Joon-Woo tomorrow.

Youra then asked for leave and left. Misao went down to the kitchen to her family. Lisa, Rui, and her mother were in the kitchen. Her father had not yet returned from work or was unwilling to after Seo-Yun informed him of Lisa's presence.