In The Clear - Out Of The Woods Sequel - A Taylor Swift Fanfiction

Chapter 11: The Scream

In the dead of night, Madison was gripped by another nightmare, more vivid and terrifying than ever before. She saw her biological mother reaching out to her, her hand slipping away just as Madison tried to grasp it. But this time, the full vision of the car crash returned, and Madison witnessed her mom's life disappearing behind her eyes. The sense of loss and helplessness was overwhelming. With a piercing scream, Madison jolted awake, her heart racing, her breaths coming in short, panicked gasps.

The scream echoed through the house, reaching Taylor, who was instantly alert. She rushed to Madison's room, her maternal instincts kicking in full force. Bursting into the room, she found Madison sitting up in bed, her body shaking, tears streaming down her face.

"Maddie! What happened, baby?" Taylor exclaimed, rushing to her side.

Madison, still caught in the lingering terror of her dream, sobbed uncontrollably. "I... I can't do it, Mom... She's always... just out of reach..."

Taylor's heart ached at the sight of her daughter in such distress, but noted the word 'always'. Does this mean Madison has had a lot of these nightmares? She wrapped her arms around Madison, pulling her close. 

"Shh, it's okay, sweetheart. I'm here. You're safe," she whispered soothingly, rocking her gently. Her memory called back to the many times she did this when she first adopted Madison. Over time, she thought the nightmares disappeared. But as she held her daughter, she began to realize the extent of Madison's suffering - and it pained Taylor that she felt like she had to do it all in silence.

After several minutes, Madison's sobs began to calm down, her breathing gradually evening out. Taylor held her, her presence a steady, comforting force in the turmoil.

"Why didn't you tell me about the nightmares?" Taylor asked gently, her voice laced with concern.

Madison sniffled, wiping her tears. "I didn't want to be a burden," she admitted, her voice small and vulnerable. "You... you had enough on your plate with Liv. I thought I could handle it on my own."

Taylor's heart broke at her words. "Oh, baby, you're never a burden. You're my daughter too, and I love you. You don't have to go through anything alone, even with Olivia being here. Please, always come to me, no matter what."

Madison leaned into her mother, the walls she had built around herself crumbling. "I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm scared. The nightmares... they feel so real."

Taylor stroked her hair, her own eyes filling with tears. "I know. They were scary a few years ago, and they're scary now. But we'll find someone who will help you make sense of them, I promise."

Madison nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over her. For the first time in a long while, she felt like her life will start to get better. In her mother's arms, the fear and loneliness that had haunted her felt a little less overwhelming.

The room was quiet except for the soft sounds of their breathing. Taylor gently broke the silence, her voice careful but clear. "Baby, do you think it might be time to visit the grave? We haven't been there in a while."

Madison's body tensed at the suggestion, her heart racing. She hasn't visited her mom's grave for the past few years as she forced herself to try to move on. She turned her face away, her voice barely audible. "I... I can't, mom. I feel like I've abandoned her... I've always said no to going, and now..."

Taylor, understanding the depth of Madison's emotions, moved closer, her arms still around her. She could feel Madison's intense heartbeat as she snuggled to her.

"Honey, it's okay. You haven't abandoned her. Grief is a complex thing, and everyone handles it differently. Not going to the grave doesn't mean you forgot about your mom or that you loved her any less."

"But I should have gone," Madison whispered, her voice cracking. "Every time you asked, I said no. I was scared, and now I feel like I let her down."

Taylor cupped Madison's face, turning her gently to meet her eyes. "Sweetheart, you didn't let anyone down. It's okay to be scared. It's okay to not be ready. Candace would understand. She would want you to be kind to yourself, to heal in your own way and time."

Madison's tears flowed freely now. "I just miss her so much, and I feel so guilty for trying to forget, for trying to move on."

"Moving on doesn't mean forgetting, sweetheart," Taylor said softly, her own tears mirroring Madison's. "It means you're continuing to live, to carry her memory and love within you. Candace would be proud of you, of all the strength you've shown."

Madison leaned back into Taylor's embrace, the barrier she had built around her heart slowly crumbling. "Do you think... do you think it would help if I went to see her when my ankle gets better? To talk to her?"

"I do," Taylor replied gently. "And I'll be right there with you. But only when you're ready. There's no rush, no right or wrong way to do this."

Madison nodded, a fragile sense of resolve building within her. "I think... I think I'd like to try. To go and see her, to tell her about everything. I feel like I owe her that."

"You don't owe her, but I think it would be good for you," Taylor said, stroking Madison's hair. "And when you're ready, we'll go together. You're not alone in this, baby. You never have been. I'm sorry I made you feel like you have."

In her mother's arms, surrounded by warmth and understanding, Madison felt a sliver of peace pierce through the fog of her grief and guilt. It was a daunting thought, facing the grave of her biological mother, but for the first time, she felt like she might be ready to take that step, to bridge the gap between her past and her present, and to start healing in a way she hadn't allowed herself to before.