You're my goal

Chapter 12

*Sal's POV*

I'm speechless. How can I feel so helpless to my own feelings, and fall victim to the pain in my heart? I wish I could explain to her, if I'm even capable of finding the words to explain it to myself first- what it is about her that leaves me feeling helpless. Helpless because she's so beautiful; how could I compare to the next guy with a six pack who flirts with her? Helpless that she's so outgoing and I can't even grasp these words I want to say. Helpless that I know I'm not going to get over her. So I just stare at her racking my brain for the only suitable phrases to express my affection.

And what if I do find these phrases? What will I do? I can't tell her. Not if I still want to be her friend, or hang out, or talk to her, or not scare her off. How long since Ive met her? Two weeks? I can't blame myself for wanting to show her I'm interested, and isn't she too? Did I take what she said the wrong way and misinterpret the whole situation?

"What?" She asks blankly, and I'm wordless on my search to explain myself and this sensation I feel when I look at her.

"Oh? Nothing." I shrug it off because I'm not even sure what I'm willing to admit to myself.

She flashes me a look, one that reads 'really?' with an unconvinced shake of her head.

I scratch the back of my head. I should tell her I like her before Q beats me to it.

"It's just,"

She looks at me with big eyes and anticipation written on her face. Still, she waited for me to continue.

"You're missing a shirt you know. Don't you own more clothes than that?" I gesture to her jacket.

Wow I'm a wuss. I couldn't do it, but my point was still a valid and realistic answer to her question. Under her blue zip up she wore a dark grey sports bra with the Nike swoosh; and the zipper was far enough down to show some skin. Clearly, that's all she was wearing underneath her jacket.

She clenched her eyes in embarrassment as she looks away from me and quickly zips up her jacket more.

"Sorry I didn't mean for it to do that." She says hesitantly.

"Sure you didn't it."

"I didn't!" Her voice had a lingering sense of desperation in it, mostly masked by annoyance.

"Uhuh that's what they all say!" I point at her before turning to retrieve a basketball next to the hoop.

I hear her let out a muffled groan, making me chuckle to myself as I pick up the ball.

"I hope you don't mind, I texted my friend to join us. They're great at basketball- taught me everything I know."

I experienced a pang in my stomach at the thought that it wouldn't just be us alone anymore.

"Oh yeah sure that's fine! Was it the same friend you texted at Q's house?"

She scrunches her expression upon hearing my words, I suppose trying to remember what I was referring to.

"What?" She stood there baffled for a moment before continuing. "Oh! Yeah, no, sorry. That was my friend Sav... Anna. Savanna. It's actually a 'he' I'm speaking of." A guy? I'm starting to become increasingly frustrated with all these mixed signals that she's giving me. "Yeah, but he said he won't be here for a few minutes so it should be just us for a little bit. Pass the ball." She beckons for me to give the ball to her.

I pass her the ball and watch as she spins it on the top of her pointer finger. As I watch her do this, I feel a buzz in my pocket from my phone but decide to ignore it.