She chose me || Percy Jackson x Reader

Part 2- why do i feel like this...?

Percy POV

And just like that, she left, leaving me to sit on her bed and think about all the things that could happen when she confesses to Luke. I mean, if he feels the same way, I'll be happy for her, but...something in my gut twists whenever I think about him being close to her. I don't know why, but I'd always envied Luke a little bit because of how highly Y/n thought of him, she literally thought he was perfect in every way imaginable, which is definitely not true. The guy has got some serious daddy issues. But then again, so do I.

I suppose I always thought that it'd be Y/n and me against the world forever. And I know people say nothing lasts forever, but I wanted us - our friendship - to stay the way it had been for years, just us two. But I guess she had other plans in mind.

I look over at her nightstand and notice a small journal type book sitting on the corner of the dark oak. Odd, I didn't know Y/n kept a journal. She never mentioned it before, which is weird because we basically talk about everything.

I reach over before hesitating halfway. Should I really look at it? I mean, they're her private thoughts that she obviously didn't want me to know. Otherwise, she would've told me. My conscience was screaming at me to just back up my hand and forget I ever saw it, but before I knew it, my body just moved on its own and picked up the book. I guess one peek can't hurt, right?

Wrong. I opened it to a random page, and the first thing I saw was Luke's name. Something pained in my chest when seeing his name in her journal, and part of me just wanted to rip out every mention of him from it. Wait - what- What am I thinking? Did I seriously just get jealous of Luke because she wrote his name in her journal?

And then it dawned on me. Oh gods....
Now I realise why I wanted her to confess to Luke so much. Because...I...I like Y/n, and something deep down told me that Luke would reject her feelings, and she would have to come back to me.
Oh my gods...I'm a terrible person, I set her up to fail. I gotta go find her before she gets her heart broken.

I put the journal back on her nightstand and rushed out of the Apollo cabin, turning my head left and right to see if I could spot them from here. Crap, where could they be...

And then I heard it. That infectious giggle I'd always loved hearing. But wait...if she's happy, then that means..

I turned around, and there they were. Y/n and Luke. But they weren't just walking side by side, no. He had one arm around her shoulder, and she had one arm around his waist as they walked, and he obviously had said something funny because she continued to giggle. Had...had Luke, reciprocated her feelings..?

This couldn't be happening. I finally realised my feelings for my best friend, but it was too late. She already had some other guy, and that guy just happened to be Luke. Dammit.

I push down the growing feeling of jealousy and envy as I make my way over to them, tapping Y/n on the shoulder. She turned around, and I immediately knew that what I wanted to say wasn't worth it. She just looked, so happy...

And I should be happy for her, I know that. But, I just can't do it, not truthfully anyway. So until Luke inevitably breaks her heart, I'm just going to have suck it up.

"Hey y/n, I just came over here to ask if you..." crap, what do I say? I came over here with a whole thing about my feelings, but now what do I do. Crap crap crap. She looked at me, slightly confused why I paused halfway through my sentence.
"If i...?"
"If you, uhm, were still coming over to my cabin to play Halo tonight, you know, cuz it's Saturday."
She looked back and forth between me and Luke as if she had just realised something and was guilty about it.
"Crap, Percy, I'm so sorry, I totally forgot about Halo night, and I kinda made plans with Luke."
Oh. I guess they're going on a date.
Luke finally chimed into the conversation, noticing the rising tension.
"You're welcome to hang with us if you want, I mean, we were probably just gonna chill by the lake."
Y/n nodded her head at me and smiled.

I put on the best fake smile I could muster. The lake. It probably didn't mean anything, right? It's not like it's the camp's most well known make out spot or anything, so it's probably just a coincidence that they're going there.
"Nah, that's okay, I don’t wanna intrude. Plus, I uh..."
I know it was petty and a dick move, but I wanted her to feel just as jealous as I did, or even just a little jealous.
"I also have plans tonight, with um, Annabeth. So, yeah, I was just asking if you were coming over, because I, will not be there."
"Oh.. okay,"
I could tell she was trying to sound happy, but the sadness in her voice was apparent. For me anyway, Luke didn't seem to notice her change of tone.

I obviously didn't have any plans with Annabeth, but Y/n didn't need to know that. I have a weird feeling Luke could tell I was lying though, he had this look on his face, it sent chills through me.

I ended up saying goodbye to Y/n and making my way back to cabin 3, where I would probably spend the rest of my evening, wallowing in regret and self pity. And Y/n is probably going to have her first kiss at the lake with Luke. Great. Just, great.