Chapter 14: Dungeon

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When Julian called me the day after I went to Simon Ferrer, alam ko na kaagad ang gusto niyang mangyari. I don't know how will I act like I am hurting the moment he says those words. Actually, I feel like I am happy. I can be with Jacob now.

"Let's break up, Nathalia."

I was hugging me pretending that I missed him so much. I did my best to act like I am still into him all this time. Siguro ay kung hindi kami ulit nagkita ni Jacob ay masasaktan talaga ako ng lubos.

Nagkunwari akong natigilan. "What? Are you pranking me again, Julian? That's not funny." I almost bit my lip but I prevented myself from stuttering.

He shook his head. "Sorry, Nathalia. Ayokong magsinungaling sa 'yo, ayokong saktan pero mas lalo ka lang masasaktan kung magpapatuloy tayo. The truth is... The reason why I wanted to go back here to the Philippines is to look for my wife I left five years ago. I want to annul our marriage and now I found her, I realize that I am still in love with her. I never fell out of love at all. I'm sorry."

That's all I wanted to hear. I deserve an apology for that matter. I trusted him and he just fooled me.

A tear fell from my eye, a tear of happiness and at the same time, sadness. "I hate you, Julian. You never loved me? After all the things I did for you? Hindi mo ako minahal?"

I did my best to fit for him but I guess I was not really for his world. He loved another woman while he was with me. Baka nga nakikita niya lang sa akin si Lucy. Sana pala ay nakinig na lang ako sa mga kaibigan ko noon. Pero kung hindi naging matigas ang ulo ko ay hindi ko ulit makikita si Jacob.

Umiling siya, wala man lang pagsisisi sa mukha. "I'm sorry. You don't deserve what I did to you, but I don't deserve you too. Tapusin na natin ito bago pa kita masaktan nang husto."

I gave him a very hard slap kahit ang kamay ko ay nagawang masakta. He deserves that, he made a fool. Hindi naman na ako nasasaktan but to think he can do that to other women just to mend his broken heart is nauseating.

"I hate you! I don't want to see you again. My friends said you're just gonna use me, they were right! I should have listened to them! Fuck you, you were married! You are making me your mistress all this time!" I shouted and slammed the door.

Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko na parang sasabog na naman sa sobrang galit at kalungkutan, hindi dahil nasaktan ako sa pakikipaghiwalay sa akin ni Julian, kung hindi dahil sa katotohanan na kayang-kaya akong itapon ng mga taong pinapahalagahan ko. Kayang-kaya nila akong ubusin at pagkatapos ay itapon na parang basura.

Natatakot ako na baka gano'n din ang gawin sa akin ni Jacob. Nagpapagamit na naman ako sa taong hindi ko naman alam kung kaya akong pahalagahan.

"What happened?" Jacob asked when I entered his mansion.

I removed my shoes, nakapaa na lang ako kagaya ng gusto niya.

"Nathalia?" he called me but I remained silent. My eyes were on the floor.

"Nothing," I whispered.

"Really?" He sounded like he was going to punish me if I didn't talk sooner.

Umupo ako sa sofa at bumuntonghininga. "Julian broke up with me." Naihilamos ko ang palad ko sa mukha ko.

He sat beside me and forced me to face him. "And you are sad and frustrated because he broke your heart. You still love him?" May halong galit at pagkairita sa boses niya.

Umiling ako. "No! Not that reason at least. I am just scared," I told him honestly.

Kumunot ang noo niya. "Then what? Tell me, Nathalia. Don't make me overthink." Hinila niya ako papalapit sa kanya.

Dinala niya ako sa kandungan niya at pinalupot ang mga braso sa bewang ko. That's when I started to melt and break down into tears. I can't lose him, not him, please.

"Don't leave me or throw me away after I accomplish what I have to do with Simon Ferrer, please, keep me. Keep me, master." I hugged him so tight.

Tinago ko ang mukha ko sa leeg niya para hindi niya makita ang pag-iyak ko. I can't lose him too. I gave my all to him, kung pati siya ay iiwan din ako ay paniguradong hindi na ako makakabangon pa.

"Sweetheart, I won't. Why are you like this?" He caressed my back.

"P-promise me that you will always keep me," I said while my tears were flowing from my eyes.

"I promise. I love you, right?" Hinawakan niya ang mukha ko.

"Julian said that to me too, but he ended up leaving me for another woman. Gagawin mo rin 'yon kapag sawa ka na sa akin, iiwan mo na ako kapag wala ka nang mapala sa akin." Nag-iwas ako ng tingin.

Nag-apoy ang galit sa mga mata niya at saka ako mabilis na binuhat. He was carrying me bridal-style and he walked upstairs. Ang akala ko ay sa kwarto niya kami pupunta nilampasan lang namin iyon.

Ang higpit ng pagkakakapit ko sa kanya. Hindi ko alam kung saan kami pupunta dahil ngayon lang ako nakapunta sa parte ng bahay niya na ito.

"Jacob," I called him when we stopped in front of a black door.

He swiped a card and punched some numbers on the lock. Double-lock ang pinto, ibig sabihin ay napakahalaga sa kanya ang laman ng kwartong ito.

Parang binuhusan ako ng malamig na tubig nang mapagmasdan ko kung ano ba ang tinatago niya sa loob ng kwartong ito. Napanganga na lang ako sa bawat sulyap ko sa mga bagay na nakikita ko rito. They were straps, chains, and kink tools everywhere. That X-shaped stand with chain on all sides made me swallowed really hard.

"What is this place, Jacob?" I was about to look at him when I felt his hands on my long black hair.

"My dungeon. This is where we all going to play from now on," he whispered against my nape while braiding my hair.

I bit my lower lip. Kahit sumigaw ako nang sumigaw dito ay paniguradong walang makakarinig sa akin.

"This is scary," I said.

He hugged me from behind. "I will always be here, you don't have to be scared or worry too much. You just have to give me your full trust, everything will be alright." His voice is full of sincerity and I cannot help but to shed a tear.

"Promise?" Humarap ako sa kanya. Pinalupot ko ang mga braso ko leeg niya.

"I promise and it's not my thing to break promises." He scooped me once again and carried me to that X-shaped stand.

He strapped my arms, para na naman akong ibon na nakabukas ang mga pakpak. I don't know why I like to be strapped like this.

Naglakad siya papunta sa isa sa mga cabinet na nandoon at kinuha ang isang itim na sleeping mask. He was going to blindfold me again. May kinuha pa siyang pink na maliit na vibrator. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako na-e-excite.

"Master," I called him.

"Shh." He put his index finger on my lips. He quickly ripped off my thin blouse and forced my skirt to go down on my feet.

Underwear ko na lang ang suot ko ngayon. Hindi man lang ako nakaramdam ng lamig dahil parang lalagnatin ako kakaisip pa lang ng mga gagawin sa akin ni Jacob.

He turned on the vibrator and rubbed it on my core. I am still wearing my undies but the pleasure is still strong.

"Fuck!" I moaned.

He chuckled. "Remember, you have a safeword, slave."

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