Smoke and Stars - A Theo Nott Story

Alone in the Smoke

Later that night, Aria made her way up to the Astronomy Tower. She was practically buzzing with excitement to see Theo. Her conversation with Astoria gave her the confidence she needed to take the next step with Theo. In her mind, it was time. Time to take their relationship to the next level, time to tell her brother about them, time to officially become Theo Nott's girlfriend. She couldn't help but grin to herself at the idea of officially being his.

Rain lightly poured down as she walked up the stairs. The smell of petrichor and wet wood flooded her mind. Hogwarts was always so pretty in the rain. Aria tightened her arms around her body, thankful that she chose a thick jumper to keep her warm in the cold, December rain, though she would soon have a boyfriend to wrap around her and warm her up. With a spring in her step, she bounded up the last few stairs to the tower.

Theo was already there finishing off a cigarette. The black leather jacket he was wearing coupled with the tendrils of smoke made him look so sexy and dangerous. He turned to where she stood and smirked, looking her up and down in a way that made her blush. Theo threw his cigarette on the ground, stomping on it. "Why hello, gorgeous."

"Hello yourself," she said with a small smile. Aria walked over to Theo. He stretched out an arm and she found herself nuzzling into his side. The two of them looked out on the Black Lake. Even from here, she could see the ripples on the surface of the water from the rain.

"How was your day, baby?" Theo murmured, stroking her hair softly. I can't wait until we can do this all the time, she thought to herself with a sigh. Thankfully, that time would be soon.

"Good. Astoria and I painted our nails and had girl talk."

He chuckled. "I'm a little jealous of how much she gets to say you but I'm glad you have such a good friend. What did you two talk about?"

This is it, she thought. This is a perfect time to bring it up. "Well, actually, I wanted to talk to you about something..."

He turned to look at her with his beautiful grey eyes. They matched the storm clouds surrounding the tower. Aria couldn't help but notice how much lighter they looked now compared to that day on the train. Back then, all she could notice was the sorrow and loneliness hidden within. But now, all she saw was tender euphoria. "Yeah?" Theo asked.

You can do this, Aria. You know it's the right time. And so she said, "Do you want to go to the Hogmanay Ball with me?"

Theo's arm stiffened around her and he let out a long, harsh sigh. "Aria..." He trailed off. That? That was the moment her heart started to slowly break into a million tiny pieces. "I don't think that's a good idea. Your brother—"

"I'm ready to tell Enzo, Theo. I don't want to hide what we are anymore. We can go to the ball together. We don't have to be a secret anymore."

He removed his arm from her back and used it to run his fingers through his hair. "But I like being a secret. I like having you to myself." She began to move away from him but he grabbed her arm, almost pleading with her to stay. Aria looked into his eyes and saw sorrow and... and something else. Resignation. Like he had been preparing for this for a long time.

And that was when the final, heartwrenching piece of the puzzle fell into place.

"You... you don't want anyone to know ever, do you?" She said softly. When she looked up at him, his face was contorted with pain. But he wasn't denying anything. "You were angry when Mattheo caught us. You don't like that Astoria knows. You always look around when we're together to make sure that no one sees us, even when we're just hanging out as friends. You never talk to me outside of my bedroom and you've only invited me to yours once. You don't want to go to the ball with me and now you don't want to tell Enzo—or anyone—even though I'm ready. Is all of that correct, Theo?"

He looked down at his feet. "Yes. It's correct," he murmured. 

Aria yanked her arm away from him and stepped backward. He winced but didn't try to get her back. That alone was all the confirmation she needed. 

She ran her arms through her hair as tears came to her eyes. "So you only ever wanted me to be your secret. Not your girlfriend."

"Aria, it wasn't like that—" Theo said as he tried to reach out for her but she side-stepped him.

"Except it was like that Theo!" Her voice was rising as her eyes began to burn with tears that threatened to fall. Don't let them fall, Aria, she told herself. But it didn't work. They slowly ran down her cheeks as she tried to choke back a sob. In just one night, everything changed. As the ran fell around them, their relationship shifted to something she didn't know could ever come back. "I don't know if it's because I'm not good enough for you or if it's because of the commitment issues you always talked about but I don't care. We're done, Theo."

"Baby, please—"

"I'm not your baby!" She turned to look at him as her eyes burned and her chest ached but she forced her voice to remain steady. "I'm not your 'cara mia' or your 'amore' or your 'baby' or anything else, Theo. I'm just the girl you like enough to fuck in the dark and leave later in the morning. I'm nothing other than that. I see that now."

His eyes fell. She could see the rain reflecting on them. "It's not like that, Aria. We didn't fuck, we made love. You mean everything to me. Please. Don't do this." She wanted to believe him. She really did. But in all his pleading, he didn't once change his mind. All he wanted to do was change hers. 

Theo tried to grab her arm and she jerked away. "Don't touch me. Don't you dare touch me. That's something you do to your girlfriend and as of right now, I'm not that anymore."

Theo's lip quivered and yet he remained steadfast. "I'm an idiot, Aria. I don't deserve you. Please, let's just talk stop and talk about this."

Her heart broke at the pleading tone in his voice. But it broke all over again when she thought about the way she felt when he said that he liked having her as a secret. And so she said, "I've been locked up for my entire life, Theodore Nott," she said softly. Aria cursed herself for the way her voice cracked as the whispers struggled to get out. "I won't do it anymore. Not even for you."

"Aria..." Theo's voice cracked.

"Answer me this one thing, Theodore," she said coolly, not turning around to look at him. She was sure that if she did, she would crumble right then and there.

"Anything, baby."

"Do you love me?"

Silence. Then, "I... I..." But he said nothing. Nothing.

So Aria left him there in the tower, surrounded by nothing but the remnants of his cigarette and the sound of falling rain. 

Short chapter buuuut we probably didn't want me to drag this out lol. Don't hate me though!! As a way to make it up, I'll be posting a lot this week AND I posted the meet the characters for my next story, Secrets and Snakes—it's about Draco and Astoria!! Check that out on my profile for a little slice of their characters, backstories, and aesthetics. Soon, I'll start posting chapters for it too. Hopefully that makes up for this little slice of heartbreak.

Thanks for all the support!