your love never is for me | billie eilish

22 | unknown number

Billie's pov:

it's been a couple days since abeline talked with me about what happened. i really can't explain the rage and sadness i feel for her, but i know it's nothing compared to what she feels.

all i ever wanted was to protect her and i failed. i feel like i could've prevented this. her ex is a really fucked up person, but i never would've thought he'd do something like this.

i've spent the most time with her, cancelling meetings, staying the night. anything i can do to be there for her, i've done.

"i have to film something, everyone is worried" she got up from my grip. "no you have to take the time to heal, filming content should be the least of your worries" i looked at her

her eyes were very puffy and she had such a dull expression on her face, that's how it's been for the last couple days. i try my best to make her smile and she always cracks a small smile to make me happy

"my body looks terrible, i feel terrible not going i have-" i cut her off

"abby your body looks amazing like it always does, please just rest" i exclaimed. "billie you don't understand, i've glued myself to this bed instead of being productive i'm not gonna be here buried in my thoughts for the rest of my life" she sighed

i know the gym is usually her coping mechanism, but i really want her to rest and take this time to reflect on her thoughts.

"i know i know, i don't wanna hold you back if you think this is gonna make you feel better" i said bluntly

"thank you, just trust me this is one thing that'll make me feel something" she rumbled through her clothes

"i'm sorry if i haven't been doing something to make you forget" i mumbled. "what? billie what are you saying" she looked over

"you want me to forget? forget what happened to me?" she yelled. "no that's not what i meant i-" i shook my head

"that's what you just said. i really appreciate you being here with me, but i hope you weren't thinking it was just gonna leave my mind cause if anything that's all that's been on my mind" she sighed

"i don't expect you to forget" i got up and walked over to her. "you do what you need to do, and i'll be here" i wrapped my arms around her torso while she faced her vanity

she tilted her head giving me easier access to her neck so i could lay kisses on her. her cheeks turned a light shade of pink which made me smile

"so it's fine if i go work with finneas today right?" i asked. "yea of course i'll be fine, i have livvy" she giggled

"you'll text me if you need anything right?" i asked and she nodded.

i'd be lying if I said I wanted to work more than being with her right now, but she obviously just wants to get back on track. I know she's turned down two modeling jobs due to her health so i'm happy she's at least feeling a little bit better to go back to modeling.

-

"i'm surprised you actually wanted to record today" finneas grinned. "you know i've been taking care of abeline" i sighed taking a seat on the couch

"what's up with her anyways? she's been MIA" he furrowed his brows. "she's um- sick" i lied

"righttt" he dragged.

he knew I was lying, but didn't bother to get the truth out of me. even if he did I wouldn't say a thing.

"wanna do-" he scrolled through the recording panel "halley's comet?"