your love never is for me | billie eilish

23 | words hurt

Abeline's pov:

these last two days have honestly been great. i got back on track with the gym and made content. i made sure to tell my audience i wanted to take a break for a minute because of personal issues.

even billie's fans were worried about me. speaking of her, she's been really clingy lately. she always is and i love it, but it's like a weird clingy?

"i love you so much you know?" billie whispered. "yes, you've told me a lot baby" i giggled pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear

"why don't we do something? i'll take you to dinner" she said excitedly

"um sure" i fake smiled. "you've been acting a bit odd" i raised my eyebrow

"what how?" she asked in a high pitched voice. "never mind- you were talking about dinner?" i brushed off

"yea we can go to that one place you've been wanting to go to" she looked up at me

i nodded and she excused herself to go to the bathroom. am i paranoid? maybe it's nothing i don't know.

i saw her phone light up and saw the name as an unknown contact. what i saw made my eyes almost pop out of my head.

it was a picture of joey and I sitting on the couch that night. i scrolled up to the beginning of the messages only to see...

q? q calling me a slut. i read all the messages and billie knew it was him. my heart was pounding out of my chest. i heard the faucet run and i quickly exited out the messages and threw her phone back where it was.

"so what time do you- are you okay?" billie ran over to me. i had tears filling my eyes and didn't even notice

"yea sorry my allergies" i fake laughed and wiped my tears. "oh. are you sure?" she looked up at me

my heart hurt so bad, but i didn't even want to start an argument. if she wants me to know she'll tell me, but she clearly didn't want me to going off the dates of the messages.

"yea, what time do you wanna go to eat?" i smiled.

"we can go at seven like always, whatever you want baby" she went up to kiss my forehead and I kept a straight face. "you're gonna go to your meeting now right?" I questioned

"um yea? trying to kick me out or what" she chuckled. "I wanna go to the gym before we go soo" I looked at my phone

"oh. yea I'll go sorry" she murmured while grabbing her things. "i'll see you later, I love you" she said before kissing me on the cheek

"love you" I mumbled. she closed my room door with a dry expression on her face.

I could tell she was set off because of how I acted. her ex has been texting her basically degrading me and she didn't bother to tell me. how does he even know what happened?

"livvy" I called knocking on her room door. "come in!" she yelled.

"I know this is a stupid question, but did you tell your boyfriend or whatever he is about me and Joey?" I asked leaning my head on her door frame

"what? no I would never spread your business, especially something like that ab" she shook her head.

I took a seat at her bed, playing with my acrylics. I didn't even know how to explain what I saw or where to start.