Lucy Bronze- Have we met before?

Im Scared Too

You are awoken by the sun hitting your face through a crack in the blinds. The apartment is silent and the bed is empty beside you. You roll over to stretch and notice a note on the pillow beside you. You open it.

Gone to training. Stay as long as you like. I'll pick you up tonight for one last dinner together (for a while anyway). Lucy xx

You drop the note and frown remembering that you go home tomorrow. You stretch out in Lucy's big bed then get up to find your phone and clothes. You walk into the kitchen and see your dress folded neatly on the kitchen bench. Oh that kitchen has seen some things you laugh to yourself. Your phone is on top of your dress. You take your phone back to bed and pull the covers back up to check your messages and emails. 

You scroll through your emails and one catches your eye. Months before you came to Barcelona you had submitted a manuscript to a publishing house. You had forgotten about it until now, assuming it was another rejection. You open the email. The first word you see is Congratulations. Followed by an attached contract with a generous 3 book deal worth 6 figures.
You jump out of bed, your heart racing. You quickly get dressed and head back to your hotel.

You burst into the hotel room and jump on top of your best friend who was fast asleep only a moment ago. You tell her your good news and you both start bouncing up and down on the bed excitedly. She had been one of your biggest supporters for a long time and she was genuinely proud of you and shared in your celebration.

You sign the contract straight away and immediately send an email to your boss at the local newspaper to quit your job, effective immediately. 

After the celebrations die down your best friend looks you in the eye and says "You should stay in Barcelona now. What's stopping you from staying? Your going to stay here longer right?" 

Was I? Was that too much? What would Lucy think of that? You had thought to yourself. Would she be excited or would she think it was too fast? You knew the pace of your relationship had been fast but that was because your time together had been limited. Despite the excitement you had been anxious all day trying to decide what to do. You had come to the conclusion that you weren't going home. If you didn't stay in Barcelona you would take your broken heart elsewhere. But you wanted nothing more than to keep spending time here in Barcelona with Lucy. 

Now Lucy is sitting in front of you at dinner, her head cocked to one side her hand holding yours across the table waiting for you to reply to her. "What's wrong?" She had asked.

You had been lost in thought at her question. You weren't sure what you were going to do next. You're brought back to the present by Lucy squeezing your hand. She's been patiently waiting for you to speak.

"I have some news."

"Oh? Is it good or bad because I can't tell by the look on your face." Lucy replies.

 "I've been offered a book deal. Which I've accepted." You say. It comes out flatly without any excitement. 

Lucy drops her fork into her plate and grabs your other hand. "That's fantastic! Isn't it? You said that's what you've been working towards. You don't seem very excited though?"

You're looking down at your plate. "No I am. I really am. I even quit my job today."

"That must have felt amazing!" Lucy grins.

Silence falls on the table as you struggle to find the next words to say.

"Since I dont have a job to go back to... I can work from anywhere now.... I mean I can write...." You trail off. You take a deep breath while you try to articulate what you want to say.

Silence falls on the table again. It's suddenly broken by Lucy's voice, quiet and barely audible. You think you heard her say "Stay."

You look up at her. She has a small smile on her face and her thumbs are rubbing at your hands. 

"Stay." She repeats. Louder this time. "If you want to... I want you to."

You breathe out not realising you had been holding your breath. 

"I wasn't sure. But yes I think I'm going to extend my stay here for a while. I'll get a little one bedroom air bnb or something. I promise I won't be in your pocket the whole time. I have a book to write."

Lucy grins. "I know. I have the champions league to focus on and away games and England camp coming up." 

"Maybe we can slow it down a bit. Us I mean. Take it at a slower pace." You say.

Lucy thinks about this for a second. "Is that what you want?"

You shake your head. "I don't know. Not really. Im just scared." You answer honestly.

Lucy squeezes your hand. "I know, I'm scared too."

You're surprised at this confession. "You are?"

Lucys nods. "Of course I am. Ive been dreading you leaving to be honest. We can take it a day at a time, a week at a time."

You smile at her. "You know, I don't have any expectations. Im enjoying my time here and your company."

"I feel exactly the same way. This just feels nice, being around you."

Lucy gives your hand another squeeze then picks up her fork and starts eating again. "Does this mean you can come to my game tomorrow night?" Lucy asks.

"Oh most definitely!" You grin. 

Lucy claps her hands together in excitement. "Alright babe eat up. I'm taking you out to celebrate!"

You laugh at Lucy. "And how are we celebrating?"

"I'm taking you bowling. But I must warn you that I don't lose."