//Rafe Cameron\\
"You don't make deals with the devil, not unless you want to dance with him and maybe I did"
Lily Grant has spent her whole life slumming it with the pogues, being that she is one.
They're her day ones, her best friends. Life coul...
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Trigger warning: This chapter contains self harm.
I stare blankly for what feels like the last hour, at the bloody lines on my arm. Now beginning to stop running and dry. Stinging and burning. I was on a streak..I really was. It had been a whole month since I last did it and even then it was just a few cuts on my upper arm.
This time it took over completely like it normally does. Now here I sit, staring at them, lining my arm, red and deep. I went as long as I could but what Rafe did last night was my breaking point. It's like a rubber band, you can only stretch it so far until it finally snaps and I snapped. It isn't just Rafe although that's been taking a bigger toll on me then I've let myself believe. The humiliation has faded, I've become used to it since it's practically a routine now but the anger hasn't become so familiar yet. Especially with how he finds more ways to make is worse and worse with every time. I wonder if he knew how I feel, how much pain I'm in on top of what he's doing. I wonder, just for a second if he'd stop but I know he wouldn't and it doesn't even matter.
It's a lot harder to hide them in the summer but I'll manage, I've become a pro.
I hold a cold rag on them until the bleeding stops before putting some 'Neosporin' over them. I could care less for the antibacterial part, I'd just helps them not sting so much. After that I wrapped some medical wrap around them. Just in case my sleeve happens to get pulled up.
"This one" Haley says as she comes running over to me and hands me giant book. I flip it over seeing it's Pride and Prejudice "You don't even know what this is.." I tell her, handing her back the book that weighs almost as much as she does. "And you can't read that" "Why? I'm expanding my vocabulary" she tells me. "Put it back" I shake my head at her, earning a dramatic eye roll before she reluctantly goes to put it away. I look over my shoulder seeing Aria in the romance section making me roll my eyes this time. Romance, love..might as well just be part of the fictional section.
Haley demanded we go to the library after breakfast which was just a bowl of cereal for them. I decided not to eat and save what we have left. I had nothing else to do and neither did Aria so we made the long walk to figure eight. Well Aria and I walked while pulling Haley in her wagon.
I shove my phone back down in my pocket, getting too warm in here. Less of the temperature and more so of feeling like there's too many people around. "I'll be outside" I tell Aria, earning a dismissive head nod.
The light breeze blows my hair around, instantly calming me as I step outside. I want so badly to pull my sleeves up and let the sun hit my skin. It's summer and normally I'd have a tank top on and I could but Aria would know as soon as she saw the wrap. She'd know what was underneath.
