//Rafe Cameron\\
"You don't make deals with the devil, not unless you want to dance with him and maybe I did"
Lily Grant has spent her whole life slumming it with the pogues, being that she is one.
They're her day ones, her best friends. Life coul...
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Warning: This Chapter contains self harm
My voice broke the second I saw Sarah and Kie come through the door. All I could do was melt in their arms as the three of us all started crying.
I repetitively apologized to which they shut down and told me stop crying or it would irritate my lungs. Once I could catch my breath and finally find my voice that was buried under my sobs, we sat down on her bed. It wasn't an easy conversation but they deserved an explanation. Rafe and Aria both knew I was using they just didn't know to what extent but Kie and Sarah had no idea I had relapsed. But now that they did I could tell them the honest truth about the deal with Rafe, what happened with Nico and decided it was time to tell them about Kade and my father too.
What Kade had done and the night Liam and Rafe showed up. When my father came back and Rafe and the boys found us.
They were both it utter shock with tears falling down their cheeks, Sarah asking if the cops were involved to which I told her they were with my father but Kade and Nico only dealt with the wrath of Rafe which seems to have been enough. I explained to them about when I relapsed and had to dig up some buried things from the past. They know more about how the accident effected me than anyone. Aside from JJ but that's only because I was so close to him and knew him for months before the rest of them. I could really use some time with him right now.
He's still my best friend but I feel like I haven't hung out with him in forever and he's always been the one to fix me.
It was a tough thing to talk about but talking to them has always been easy and they understood. Being more worried about me than angry. We talked for hours and Sarah said we can absolutely have another sleep over with no overdosing or almost dying which was relieving.
I couldn't fall asleep, despite having Kie and Sarah right there I needed something else. They're my best friends, I feel warm and safe with them but it isn't the kind of overwhelming security that Rafe seems to give me. I don't feel like I've been drugged by the sandman until I'm wrapped in his arms.. I needed him.
I was quiet not wake them up as I crawled out of bed but Sarah sat up, her eyes round with concern and I could tell she was afraid something was wrong. I've caused them all so much worry and fret..well aside from Rafe. I don't think he cares much.
"Where are you going?" She asked, whispering not to wake Kie as she reached for my hand and I took it. "I can't sleep, I was going to.." I trailed off, hesitant to tell her. Worried she might not like it but she's been supportive and hasn't shown that it bothers her so far.
