//Rafe Cameron\\
"You don't make deals with the devil, not unless you want to dance with him and maybe I did"
Lily Grant has spent her whole life slumming it with the pogues, being that she is one.
They're her day ones, her best friends. Life coul...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
My eyelids flutter, my mind still fuzzy from sleep and my overdose. The warmth wrapped around my body becomes apparent as my sleep fades and I suck in a soft breath through my nose.
Opening my eyes, landing on navy sheets bunched up between us. Traveling up before they fall on his soft plump lips and long dark lashes as he sleeps. Wearing such a soft expression but even in his sleep he's intimidating. If this odd arrangement hadn't grown to what it has between us, I'd be afraid to touch him.
His one arm wrapped under me, wrapped around my shoulders and resting at my hip while the other is draped softly over my thigh. My eyes moving back to his lips and that familiar urge to kiss him rises. It's almost as strong as my craving for oxy or any drug that'll do the same trick. Maybe it is stronger..Only it's an urge I can't fulfill. Although I can't help but wonder what he'd do if I did just catch him off guard and kiss him. Maybe he'd be different now since he's playing baby sitter to me. But I know that's ridiculous. He'd probably shove me to the ground and cut me off completely. He likes to fuck me, he doesn't want to kiss me..unless he's fucking me.
Just looking at him as that annoying warmth filling my chest and making my heart beat faster. My breathing swirl around my sore lungs.
I scoot closer to him sliding my arm under his bicep and draping it over his back, our chests pressed together as I bury my face in his chest and his chin rests on the top of my head. Breathing in his warm musky scent that makes me want to get as close to him as I can yet I can't ever get close enough. If you had asked me a month ago if I'd be lying here with Rafe Cameron. Just having overdosed and craving kissing him more than the drugs that almost killed me I would have thought you'd given me some bad acid.
I can't really place the feeling I get with him. It's just warm, and fuzzy and almost irritating but only because it can't be more and it feels like it wants to but I don't even understand that either. More how? How can I possibly know when I don't even know what it is?
Sometimes I want to rip open my chest and beat it relentlessly just to make it stop. I've given up trying to ignore it, it's too strong.
It doesn't feel like that bond I have with Sarah or Kie, or the boys. Not like the bond I have with JJ and I used to sleep with him.. It's different. And it doesn't feel like a crush. I do not have a crush on him that's just asinine, and I don't even think the term 'crush' goes beyond middle school. It just sounds silly.
I've thought about it, on nights where I can't fall asleep and I just stare at my ceiling, letting my thoughts pull me under and try to figure out just how it feels but I always end more frustrated than before.
