𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐫 • sirius black

°Epilogue°

°Epilogue°

oOoOoOo

Weeks have past since the day that Carrie found out about the bet. Five weeks to exact.

And to say these weeks have been the toughest Carrie ever had to pass would still be an understatement. After walking through the halls of Hogwarts and finally being revealed to why Sirius ever tried to get close to her, nothing had been the same. Every time she left her dorm people would stare at her, start whispering and silently point at her. Because everyone knew. Everyone had been either told, had seen it themselves or had only taken a look at Carrie and Sirius after having had heard the rumor to know that it was true. And that's why Carrie started staying in her dorm. She would walk straight to class and go back into her room immediately after. Sometimes she even skipped her classes because she couldn't handle seeing Sirius in class beside her. Or any marauders for the matter. Many of her marks had dropped over the past weeks due to missing presence and bad performance in class. There was nothing left for her to do in a day thing back to her dorm and staying there. The first few days she had mostly cried. Oh, how she cried and cried and cried. It was never ending. At least it felt like it. However, that stopped after about six days. After these days she felt as though she didn't have any tears left, nothing left within her to give. One would think that this would be good and that she would then start to get better. But it was quite the opposite. Carrie became numb. She didn't do anything at all. She didn't cry or sniffle or anything like that. She simply didn't do anything. She didn't talk or make any sound. The only thing she did was look. Look sad. Mostly to the ground, but always down somehow. For weeks she did. It was as if she had completely lost herself. The girls had tried to talk to her anyhow, but it was impossible. The only one who stayed either her everyday, that she silently pulled close and rested on was Will. Will spend the days and nights holding Carrie in silence. Because he knew that no words could ever fix what had been broken inside her. No words from him anyway.

Yet, she was not the only one in a constant state of broken. Because so was Sirius. The day that Carrie smashed the necklace to the ground, Sirius did not come back to the marauders dorm. After staring at the broken piece of jewelry for an entire minute and crossing out the noise of his friends voices, he had started running. Running out of the castle, through the courtyard and into the forbidden forest. He couldn't even remember himself when he had stopped running. With tears streaming down his face and his entire body shaking he never stopped. His feet kept him somewhat steady and tried pulling him away from his life. He tried escaping his ruined dreams and broken heart. But he could not. James had not closed an eye that night, due to his brother missing and when he opened the door the next morning only to find Sirius curled up before their dorm, he couldn't help but fall to the ground as well. He had grabbed Sirius so tight and didn't stop whispering about how everything would be alright, that he was scared to death for Sirius and how he was ever so sorry. Sirius didn't answer though. He didn't say anything. He just laid there in James' arms and pulled him close.
It took him two days to start talking again. Until than he had only conversed shortly or by silent motions. But after those two days the boys had finally managed to pull him out of this hole. At least as much for him to get back into his daily routine. He had tried talking to Carrie a few times after, in vain. Not because of him particularly, though. She didn't even register him, she was simply absent and left class within seconds, not giving him any chance of even starting a sentence. It was the torture that came after the grand fall.

After two weeks Sirius had stopped trying. He knew that Carrie was not in any position to talk to him or rather anyone. And that was what started worrying him even more. That she did not talk with anyone. Not with him, not with the marauders, not with her girl friends and not with Will either. Seeing Carrie lose herself so much because of him was even worse than losing her himself.

oOoOoOo

It was a sunny day. It's been weeks since the sun had came out to shine brightly and spend some warmth to the students of Hogwarts. But today it granted its light to the castle. Carrie had felt something this morning that she hadn't felt in a long time. She wanted to do something. Wanted to get out of her darkened room and listen to the silence of nature rather than her own. And so she did exactly that. She stepped out of her room, through the castle and towards the black lake. Carrie sat down on the grass and looked down at the water. At the little waves that built up because of the light breeze, at the sun's reflection that mirrored in the surface of the water. She looked at how life had passed away in the past few weeks because of a little mistake that someone did. The thought that it wasn't all that bad and that Sirius had actually been honest with her, had crossed her mind multiple times. He had called off the bet. At the time that she had started having feeling for him, his words had been true. He might really love her. Just as much as she loved him. Maybe their light could be turned on again. Maybe everything would find its way. Maybe their love would.

All those thoughts wandered around her head once more. They took up every empty space in her mind which caused her to almost miss the sounds beside. Little footsteps had come closer to her and when she turned to look at what it was, her heart stopped for a moment. There, beside her, stood a black dog. With soft looking fur and fluffy ears and eyes that were so very familiar to her. His eyes looked right at her, burned into her own. But the dog didn't back down. He looked at her with such a soft and strong and loving look that she couldn't help but return. And maybe she didn't even want to stop herself from it. After a moment of silent approval, the dog stepped closer to her. Closer and closer until his leg brushed Carrie's thigh. He laid down beside and only to lay his head into her lap. And when his hand finally brushed his fur, the most human sigh escaped the dogs lips.

They spent minutes like this. Minutes that felt like hours and days. They felt like eternity.

After sometime unknown to any of the two, the dog had started getting up and slowly walking away. He passed a tree and stepped out of sight. Carrie had stood up as well. To leave, just like he did. With a new sense of peace. She somehow felt free. Delighted. Saved.

She turned round and stopped just before taking her first step towards the castle. Because in front of her stood Sirius. In human form and all. Wearing his leather jacked, boots and with his hair falling and framing his face. Looking just like the boy she had met months ago. Looking just like the boy that she had fallen in love with. There he stood right in front of her, holding a single rose in his hand and an uncertain, yet hopeful and content look on his face. Carrie could see the tremble in Sirius' fingers and the slight uncertainty in his posture, that she knew to recognize after she got to know him better. And now she knew. She knew him, she knew them and she knew his love.
And when Sirius raised his voice, Carrie held her breath.

"Carrie. Nothing happened in the way I wanted. Every inch of me is haunted by the entirety of you. My head, my body, my heart. You overtook my entire being, no space untouched by you. You showed me how to love, what life was all about and now I cannot continue my life without you. And I will do anything I can to make sure I won't have to. Because you're worth it, Carrie White. You are not a bet or a pastime for me. You are everything and more. And I love you, hoping that you'll love me too. But even if you won't, I will never stop loving you, Carrie."

The words left his mouth and changed everything. Yet nothing at all. Because Carrie had loved him for a long time now. These words did not change her feelings but only strengthened them. They strengthened her faith. Because in front of her stood the boy that she loved and told her he loved her too. Her heart beat fast and her eyes started shining. And when Sirius looked at her with a look so open and loving and scared, Carrie smiled. She smiled because she knew that this was everything. That she had given and found love. It had been a difficult road with many ups and downs. It had been tough but the treasure in the end was richer than anything she could ever have hoped for.
Sirius was everything and so was Carrie. They were everything. They have been even when they were nothing at all. They were forever from now on and for what had felt like years. And they both knew.

Because now they knew, that knowledge was the greatest form of love to exist.

ℱ𝒾𝓃𝒾𝓉ℯ.