It was incredibly early in the morning and Count Olaf was sitting in the dining room. Sam and Klaus walk into the dining room and sit down at the opposite side of the table. "Shouldn't you two be in your room."
"We were in our room all night." Sam says.
"And we know what you're up to." Klaus says.
"Me? I'm just having my morning coffee, although I can't seem to find my sugar bowl." Olaf says.
"'The only nuptial requirement is a statement of active acquiescence by both participants, utilizing in loco parentis if necessary, and the signing of an explanatory document in the bride's own hand.'" Klaus says reading from the book.
"Let me give you a piece of advice. If you use fancy-pants words first thing in the morning, you're going to end up a very lonely man." Olaf tells Klaus.
"Then you and Klaus will have something in common. Other than the smart part." Sam says, earning a glare from Count Olaf.
"We figured out your scheme. You're not going to marry Violet figuratively. You're going to marry her literally." Klaus says.
"And you are marrying my sister off to whoever the new henchman is!" Sam yells in rage.
"Don't yell, it's too early in the morning. And also... literally? That's outrageous, I-wait...literally...literally?" Olaf says.
"Literally means it's actually happening, figuratively means it's for show." Sam explains.
"I knew that. I was testing you." Olaf says and Sam rolls her eyes. Then Olaf turns to Klaus.
"If our sisters say, 'I do' and signs a piece of paper while Justice Stauss is in the room, she's legally married. This play wouldn't be pretend. It'll be real and legally binding." Klaus explains.
"I wouldn't marry your sister if she was the last orphan on earth. A man like me can acquire any number of beautiful women who don't complain about doing their chores. What's in it for me?" Olaf claims.
"'A legal husband has titular and practical control over any relevant fiduciaries, resulting in aggregates financial dominion over any spouses' holdings'" Klaus reads from the book.
"I don't think a boy at your age should be using the word 'titular'." Olaf says before he starts laughing.
"If you became Violet's husband, you'd gain complete control over the Baudelaire fortune. And if this man marries Elizabeth, then he has her fortune, which he can sign over to you. But..." Klaus trails off. ""A prospective spouse must be chronologically sound and appropriate, in regard to the age of consent according to prevailing community standards.' Both of our sisters aren't old enough to get married even if they wanted to."
Count Olaf scoffs and turns to the boys. He was going to say something but Sam interrupts, in realization of something. "In loco parentis." Sam says, earning a questionable look from Klaus, but a smirk from Count Olaf. "A person underage can get legally married, if they have permission from their legal guardian. Meaning that Violet and Lizzie can get married legally, if Count Olaf gives them permission."
"Yes, and Violet and Elizabeth do have permission. In fact, they have more than permission. They have enthusiasm." Olaf chuckles.
"All of the enthusiasm in the world won't get us to participate in your horrible plot." Sam announces.
"Mr. Poe will hear about this. Your play will not perform, and you will go to jail." Klaus then leaves with Sam.
"Here comes Count Olaf, throw the rice pilaf." They were singing.
YOU ARE READING
Unfortunately Fortunate
FanfictionViolet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire where three remarkable children. But one day their house burned down in a fire and their parents died. The then move into Count Olaf's house and their unfortunate events beginnings. They becomes friends with Isador...
