Unfortunately Fortunate

Run-Away Rug-Rats

Violet, Klaus, Isadora, Duncan, Sam, Keira and Elizabeth holding Sunny, are escorted off the boat by Count Olaf, or Captain Sham as Mr. Poe, who is standing at the docks waiting for them, believes. Count Olaf's theatre troupe leaving after them. The children and Count Olaf walk up to Mr. Poe who speaks, "What am I supposed to do with you? You said you were going to go home and rest, but instead, you steal a sailboat and push Josephine's house down a hill? I missed the pre-hurricane discount tickets and had to spend the night in a bed and breakfast that uses powdered eggs! I wouldn't be surprised if Captain Sham was no longer interested in serving as your guardian, even though I filled out these forms in triplicate while he boated around Lake Lachrymose looking for you on a hunch."

"I don't have a hunch." The hook-hand henchman says.

"Well, I'll admit the children's behaviour did make me have second thoughts. But then I also had third thoughts, which are how empty my wallet and my heart are. I truly think that the children can be an enormous, enormous fortune in my life. And so... as I used to say to my dearest friend, the late Josephine What's-her-name... get in the car." Captain Sham tells them.

"We're not going anywhere with you." Duncan says.

"Mr. Poe, this man is really Count Olaf in disguise. He murdered Aunt Josephine in cold blood." Klaus says.

"Uh, actually, cold water." The hook-hand henchman says.

"Klaus, we've been through this. There's absolutely nothing at this point that will convince me that this man is actually Count Olaf. And you have no evidence to support these wild accusations, and I cannot, on behalf of Mulctuary Money Management, merely take the word of a single child." Mr. Poe says.

"You don't have to take the word of a single child." Isadora says.

"You can take the word of all eight of us." Sam says.

"Uh, actually, it's more like seven. The baby doesn't really count." Captain Sham says.

Elizabeth kneels onto the ground and puts Sunny down, whispering to her, "Go get him, Sunny."

"I mean..." Captain Sham says before getting interrupted and Sunny crawls over to him and starts chewing on his peg leg. Captain Sham screams in fright as Sunny bites it, breaking it into half while giggling. Count Olaf's then puts his leg down to prevent falling over and says, "My leg! My leg has grown back! It's amazing! It's incredible! It's wonderful! It's a medical miracle! It's a mitzvah!"

Elizabeth picks up Sunny and says, "You go girl." While Sunny gives Elizabeth a high five.

Mr. Poe looks at Count Olaf's leg and recognises the tattoo before looking at Count Olaf. "Oh, come now, that won't work. Even a child can see that peg leg was false."

"A child did see that the peg leg was false." Violet says.

"Eight children, in fact." Klaus says.

"But you didn't listen." Elizabeth says.

"You never listen." The two triplets say but as usual, Mr. Poe wasn't listening.

"Well, perhaps the peg leg was false. But I have never seen this tattoo in my life." Captain Sham says.

"Oh, come now, that won't work either. You tried to hide the tattoo with the peg leg." Mr. Poe says.

"Maybe the tattoo is real. But I am not this Count Olaf person." Captain Sham says.

The children then hear a noise and turns their heads to see a truck. "Look. Lucky Smells Lumbermill." Sam says reading it.

"Let's go." Keira says and the children run over to the truck, getting in the cargo bed of the truck. It then drives off, leaving the town.

Meanwhile the adults continue their conversation, not noticing the children absents. "My name is Captain Sham. It says so on my business card." Captain Sham says.

"Oh, oh, come now, that won't work either again. Business cards don't prove anything. Anyone can go to a print shop and have cards made up that say anything they like."

"Well, maybe I'm not Captain Sham, but the children still belong to me. Josephine told me so." Count Olaf says, in his own voice.

"Oh, come now, that won't work for the final time. Josephine left the children to Captain Sham, not Count Olaf. You are Count Olaf and not Captain Sham. You are going to jail, and the children will come with me, and we'll settle this once and for..." Mr. Poe then turns to look at where the children stood to see them gone. "Children? Children? Children... Children! Children? Children... Children?" Mr. Poe calls out while Count Olaf and his troupe runs away to his car. "Well, I'll find them in a minute." He then turns to where Count Olaf stood and say, "You will stay here, Count Olaf, and I'll finally contact the..." He then notices Count Olaf is gone. "Count Olaf! Count Olaf! I'm all alone."

The children sit in the Lucky Smell's truck, blank looks on their faces. "What's that thing Haruki Murakami said?" Violet asks her brother.

"'When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in.'" Klaus says.

"Before that part." Violet says.

"'You won't even be sure, in fact... whether the storm is really over.'" Klaus says. "Do you think we made the right choice?"

"Doesn't matter if we made the right choice." Elizabeth says and the children look at her. "What matters is what happens." The children then look up to see a flock of birds flying above them in a V shape. All wondering if their lives will get better, or worse.