Helluva Guy (Helluva Boss x Autisic reader.)

Pilot

The scene opens with a shot of Imp City that slowly zooms in on the I.M.P building. The sound of the busy streets can be heard in the background. The scene transitions to a closed door labeled "IMP Headquarters", with a crude sign made from a sheet of notebook paper that reads, "Meeting in progress" with a smiley face drawn next to it. The light flickers as the camera zooms in on the door. Inside, Blitzo is walking in front a whiteboard on the wall as he lectures his employees.

Blitzo: Alright. Now, I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here...  Moxxie.

Moxxie gives him an incredulous look in response.

Blitzo: Now, does anyone have... any bright ideas on how we can get business drummin' up again?

Y/N sat in the meeting, his fingers tapping rhythmically against the table in front of him, a nervous habit he couldn't seem to shake. As Blitzo spoke, outlining the current state of their business, Y/N's mind raced with ideas and possibilities.

Despite his struggles with verbal communication, Y/N had a knack for spotting patterns and making connections that others often overlooked. As the discussion turned to brainstorming new strategies, Y/N's gaze drifted to the whiteboard at the front of the room, where he began mentally sketching out a rough diagram of their current client base and potential target demographics.

Millie: What about a car wash?

Blitzo: This is Hell, Millie. No one cares about cars being clean here, okay?

Y/N: I...personally don't see the problem with a clean car.

Blitzo: Of course you don't. Wait, isn't you dad The Black Pope of Hell?

Y/N: Well, yes...but he doesn't do TV commercials...ever since he learned about how the human world portrayed him in a 2022 movie.

Loona: Why? What did they do?

Y/N: I-I'm not sure. B-but he said "The mortals had it coming, there is but one Dark Prince of Pain. One true Hell Priest."

Blitzo: Uh...Wh- Ooh! What about a billboard?

He waves his hands with an enthusiastic flair as sparkles fly out.

Moxxie: We can't afford a billboard, sir.

Blitzo wraps his arm over Moxxie's shoulder.

Blitzo: Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now.

He pushes Moxxie away.

Blitzo: Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?

Blitzo turns on a TV that shows the I.M.P. crew brutally murdering people from the overworld as they are paid to do. Blitzo whacks a man in the face with a mallet, Moxxie is blown away firing a shotgun through the mouth of a man tied to a chair, Loona swings a man back and forth in her mouth, Y/N uses chains to rip a man's jaw off, and Millie decapitates someone with a harpoon and laughs.

Everyone was watching the TV, with Loona, Millie, Y/N, and Blitzo eating popcorn. Well, Y/N was also eating human fingers.

Blitzo: Ahh, those were the good times.

Moxxie: I don't need any reminding, sir. Considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel... nobody watches.

Blitzo: Uh, hey. Excuse me? What's "obnoxious" about a super-fun jingle, alright? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!

Millie: People love musicals, sir.