Helluva Guy (Helluva Boss x Autisic reader.)

Short

(Christmas special)

A cozy bar inside a bustling mall during the holiday season. Santa, played by a man in his 50s named Rick, sits at the bar in his full red suit, complete with a fake beard and hat. Next to him is his friend, Reggie, a wiry guy with a mischievous grin. Two college girls, Amy and Becca, have taken quite the interest in Santa and are seated nearby, giggling and making comments as they sip their drinks.

Amy: (leaning forward with a flirty smile) Sooo, Santa... you must get lonely up there at the North Pole. All those elves and no Mrs. Claus?

Rick: (chuckling uncomfortably) Ho, ho, ho! Well, uh, I like to think my heart's pretty full from all the joy I bring, y'know? (clears throat) And uh, Mrs. Claus is a very lucky lady... in theory, anyway.

Becca: (grinning) Bet you get a lot of letters, Santa. Ever get one from a naughty list girl like me?

Rick looked uncomfortable.

Rick: (blushing under the fake beard, looking to Reggie for help) Oh, well, I, uh... I try to, uh, bring out the best in everyone! Ho, ho... ho...

Reggie: (nudging Santa) Come on, Ricky, you gotta give these ladies what they want! I mean, it is the season of giving, right?

Rick: (under his breath, flustered) Reggie, you're not helping...

Amy: (winking) Well, maybe we'll see you around, Santa. You know where to find us.

[The girls get up to leave, throwing one last flirty look over their shoulders as they disappear into the mall. Rick watches them go, still blushing.]

Rick: (sighs, shaking his head) Man... I've been doing this gig for ten years, and I've never seen anything like that.

Reggie: (laughing) Told ya, Rick! That suit comes with perks. Doesn't matter what's under the beard—women just love Santa.

Bartender: (chiming in as he wipes down a glass) Reggie's not wrong. I see it every year—old Santa here gets more action than Cupid on Valentine's.

Rick: (chuckling) Well, maybe for the first time I'm starting to see the appeal of the suit. (takes a sip of his drink) It's kinda nice, y'know? Even if it's just for a laugh.

Reggie: (grins, clapping Rick on the back) That's the holiday spirit! Now, let's get you some mistletoe and maybe even some reindeer ears for good luck!

Rick: (laughing) Oh, no, no, no. I think I'm just fine with my usual routine...plus I'm still not over Rebecca.

Bartender: I still find it hard to believe that she was eaten by a rhinoceros, escaped from the zoo, on a crowded street, in full daylight, in 12 seconds flat.

The three of them share a laugh as holiday music plays faintly in the background. They had arrived to kill a bunch of parents who had trampled seven people to death on Black Friday.

Y/N stops mid-stride, his eyes widening as he spots something through the glass doors of a bar in the bottom floor—Santa, chatting with a couple of people. Y/N's face lights up in childlike excitement.

Y/N: (whispering, awestruck) Oh... my... Satan! Santa Claus?! Oh my god!!!

Blitzo: (confused) Huh? What're you—?

But before Blitzo can finish, Y/N practically bursts out of the stealth formation, rushing toward the bar entrance.

Blitzo: Y/N! Get back here! We're in the middle of a mission, you idiot! I knew I should've brought the leash!

Millie: (trying not to laugh) Aw, let him go, Blitz. I think he's excited.

Moxxie: (facepalming) Unbelievable...wait...leash?