The Broken Healer

Chapter 24: Get Lost

Newt was fuming now. He was trying hard to keep it contained. He needed Evelyn. He didn't see Rex or Ruffio so that ment Evelyn was still being stitched together. He should have gone with them. Then these stupid guards wouldn't have found him. And what if she was cranking again? He needed to be there for her. These guards needed to leave so he could go find her.

"You’re sur-" Tall Mustache started to say.

"NO!" Newt screamed. "Don’t let them come near me! Or Evelyn! Ever!"

Lights swam before his eyes. He expected a retaliation, the butt of a Launcher slammed into his face, or worse. But he had taken them by surprise, preempted any normal response they may have chosen.

Without saying a word, the short guard and his tall, hairy-lipped friend left the bowling alley.

Newt closed his eyes and tried not to see Tommy in the darkness of his mind. Tried not to see Minho. Tried not to see Sonny. Tried not to see Jorge or Brenda, Teresa or Alby, Gally or Chuck. He tried not to see his sister, Sonya. But all his memories from the past, his family started to flash before his eyes.

He saw them all.

And his heart broke.

He fumed as silently as possible, aware that the spectacular anger he felt was beyond irrational, but still unable to do anything about it. Every breath hurt his chest, only filled half his lungs. The decision he and Evelyn made to leave their friends and the Berg had been almost impossible, unbearable- but the right one. How could they place this burden on Evey and him, forcing them to make that same decision again? He shook with rage, cradled the Launcher in his arms like a baby, considered turning it on himself to snap him out of these spiraling thoughts. It wouldn’t kill him, after all. But it sure would wake him up.

He needed Evelyn. He needed her now. He tried to stand up.

"Newt, you okay?"

Newt twisted his head. Jonsey. How had Newt and Evelyn chosen to cast their lot with someone like Jonesy...like Goose,  instead of relying on their best friends on the planet, in their family? He really was losing his mind. 

"No!" he berated himself. "We did the only thing we could."

Having the Flare was bad enough. Having Tommy and the others around to remind him and Evey of just how sad that was… He couldn’t take it. Newy simply couldn’t. There was no going back. Him and Evelyn had made a promise to each other. Try and stay sane for as long as possible. He would end it for her. He promised he wouldn't let her go past Gone. And Newt made Goose swear in his sister's grave he would end it for Newt. Tommy wouldn't do it. He couldn't. Tommy was too soft, Sonny was too soft. Minho couldn't either. Everyone broke their promises to Evelyn. Why would they keep it for him?

"Uhhh. Your Royalness?" Jonsey asked again.

"What?" He snapped, spit flying from his mouth.

"Rex is back...says Princess is almost done."

"Good."

"Newt?” Jonesy again.

"I’m fine!” Newt yelled. He turned his head to look at the sallow face of his bodyguard, framed by that ridiculous greasy black hair.

"Just leave me alone!"

He turned back to the wall. Lowered his head. Closed his eyes. Tried to suppress the anger that welled up in him like a surge of acid, like gasoline, lit with a spark, burning and burning. Why had they come back! Why? He repeated this over and over.

Newt's entire body feeling suspended in space, floating in a bubble of hot rage. It might’ve been an hour. It might’ve been only a minute, he didn’t know. But it took every ounce of his willpower just to keep himself from erupting at anyone within a hundred feet of him. More than once he had to push down the urge to shoot someone else with the Launcher, just to make himself feel better.