Fading Echoes

Seis

I just woke up hearing voices. Nasa kuwarto na rin ako. I roamed my eyes around and was shocked to see my husband talking to manang Yeda?!

What is he doing here?! Next week pa dapat ang balik niya bakit na siya andito? And why does it feel like I've been asleep for hours?! Ilang oras ba ako nakatulog?? He probably took the direct flight, then. So, I was asleep that long?! 

Or they probably gave me some sedatives... Hindi ko na rin kasi nahaharap magpa-check up for my anemia.

Nakatitig lang ako sa kanila nang mapansin ni manang Yeda na gising na ako. Hindi ko rin maintindihan kung ano at tungkol saan ba pinag-uusapan nila. 

"Oh siya, maiwan ko na muna kayo. Gising na asawa mo Gorio" she said at lumabas na ng kuwarto. Mukhang seryoso din ang pinag-uusapan nila kanina. 

"How do you feel?" he asked as he sat down on the bed, umupo rin ako at sinandal ko ang likod ko sa headboard, medyo mabigat ang ulo ko at nahihilo pa ako. 

"Why are you here? you're supposed to be back next week" I answered. Sa totoo lang ay ayaw ko siyang kausapin, iniiwasan ko siyang kausapin dahil ayaw kong pag-usapan namin kung ano mang nangyari sa Switzerland. 

"How do you feel, Irene?" seryoso niyang tanong. Nakatitig lang siya sa akin, hindi ko rin mabasa kung anong expresyon ba ang ipinapakita niya sa akin ngayon. 

"I'm okay." 'yan nalang ang naisagot ko. Tumayo siya at bumuntong hininga. 

"You didn't have proper meals these days and didn't get enough sleep and rest since I left. Why is that? hindi lang naman ikaw ang tao na gumagalaw sa preparations for the recent event that you had. Why do you keep on overworking yourself?" panimula niya. 

I know where is this going...

"Kung ganiyan lang din naman, na magkakasakit ka dahil diyan, then be--"

I cut him off in an instant.

"What? better quit my job?" I retorted, glaring at him. Hindi ko maintindihan, hindi ko na siya maintindihan.

"Why? yes! You're risking your health for that job, Irene! That's why I kept on reminding you to take it easy, ask for help! You cannot do everything on your own! And if you can't, better leave that job of yours!" he fired back. I got up from the bed to get some water placed on the table near the couch. Medyo tumaas ang boses niya at napansin kong nahalata niya rin yun, I saw him gulped at umiwas ng tingin. I stared at him.

"Quit? huh? You know very well how much I am needed in that organization! Hindi ko na alam saan tatakbo ang buhay ko, Greggy! you took away my career from me! You want me to quit my job at the company, which was the foremost reason why we're both here today, why we're married! Okay, sige, pinagbigyan kita--"

"You know why I did that, Irene! You know that!!" he hissed, the tense can be felt inside the room. Ibinaba ko ang baso sa mesa at lumapit sa kaniya. 

"And now, you want me to quit my job in the foundation... Removing me from the office is not an enough punishment, Greg? hindi pa ba? ano pang kulang? tinanggap ko naman lahat ha, 'yong pagbabago ng pakikitungo mo sa akin, lahat ng panunumbat mo--"

Napakurap ako ng marinig kong sumigaw siya; 

"You don't blame me for every pain that you've caused, Irene! you don't get to tell me that I am punishing you because if I do, I could've done something worse than what you're thinking right now" 

I shook my head in disagreement, kung hindi ito parusa sa naging kasalanan ko, ano 'to?

"Then why are you doing this to me, Greggy?! Why do you have to make me feel that this marriage is not worthy to hold onto anymore? Bakit paulit-ulit mo sa akin kailangan ipamukha pagkakamali ko? Kung hindi 'to parusa, Greggy, ano 'to, ha? tell me then! Explain to me! Kasi hindi ko na naiintidihan why are we both still here!"