Borne of Curses & Blessings

Chapter Eleven

After Cora's cell was built, Regina and I agreed I'd move into the guest room. It's been a comfortable adjustment and it's much more spacious and comfortable than Snow and Charming's. I woke up before Regina this morning and decided to sneak downstairs to make breakfast for us since Henry is with my parents. I've never been the best in the kitchen but I have a few specialties up my sleeve and the idea of doing something so simple but sweet for her is motivating. Over the next twenty minutes or so, I find myself wrapping up my process leaving only the dishes to do which I begin promptly. As I pull a plate out of the soapy water to scrub thoroughly, a voice startles me and I drop the plate. I freeze as it shatters and the shards scatter across the floor. Dark and terrifying memories flood my mind and mix with the present and I break down in sobs.
"Emma?"
"I'm so sorry, Regina! Fuck! I-I-I'll replace it, I swear! I-I think... well, I know I have several hundred in my bank a-account, I'll buy you a new set, something better even." I whimper before turning to face her. I see her eyes are tearing up and I feel worse... the plate must've meant something to her and I ruined it.
"Please, don't cry Gi. I didn't mean to hurt it... p-lease don't be sad."
She touches my arm and I flinch pathetically.
"E-Emma, you're okay... I'm not gonna hurt you."
I know she's attempting to console me but those words aren't comforting.
"P-Please...."
She pulls me into a warm hug and I freeze at her touch.
"Emma, you're safe. I won't ever harm you and I'll never let anyone hurt you. Ever."
"I'm sorry I broke your plate, Gina." I sniffle as a look at the mess of broken ceramic. She flourishes her wrist and pink smoke sweeps the pieces up and the plate sits reconstituted on the countertop.
"There... see? No harm, no foul."
"But--!"
"Baby, this isn't about the plate. I-I'm worried about you."
"I'm f-fine. I was just trying to make you breakfast but of course I can't even do that right."
"Don't say that, Emma. It isn't true."
"Yes, it is!!! I break stuff all the time, my spells go haywire, I'm always.. bleeding on stuff and ruining people's nice things. I h-have no manners and I'm a bad student. You try so hard to teach me and I never seem to learn."
She continues rambling as if she's caught in some kind of trauma loop, apparently she's having a more visceral reaction to her age reversal. I had never fully considered the implications of what she'd been through. I never dreamed she had suffered so greatly.
"I-I'm really sorry, Gi...."
"Emma, you're okay. I love you, all of you. Even everything you just listed... but, where is this coming from?"
"I... don't remember."
"Emma... please tell me."
"I h-had a rough go in a foster home, it's not a big deal."
"Emma, you thought you would be harmed for breaking a dish. What happened?"
"The water was just so hot and the soap was so damn slippery and it hit the floor, he got so angry.... he hit me in the back with other plates until they broke, it cut me a lot. He, um, dragged me to the garage and threw me on the cold, filthy floor. He beat me up and he..."
"He raped you..."
"It hurt more than anything, he kept calling me stupid and a leech. W-When he finished, he locked me in the trunk of the car all night. It was so scary and the air got so thin..."
A familiar sense of rage flairs within me, I want so desperately to find the mortal and destroy him with my bare hands. Apparently, I'm just as reactive to my age regression... I haven't felt rage like this is decades.
"G-Gina? D-Don't be mad, it was my fault."
"Don't say that!!" I snap at her and she visibly flinches.
"I-.. I'm sorry. L-Look..." she offers gently before standing close to me. Her youthful essence resonates with mine and I suddenly understand what Emma meant earlier about her dark, adult desires being inflamed by our new state of being. Everything is heightened... she rest her hand on my waist and presses her hips against mine, "I can make this better if you'll let me..." she whispers seductively. My heart drops and I shiver before stepping back.
"No, Emma."
"But-?"
"No! I-- I'm not Evil anymore, Emma. I won't ever touch you like that when you're this... vulnerable."
Emma's eyes become teary and her lips quivers.
"Do you not love me anymore?"
"Honey, of course I still love you. But, I-- I..."
She gently lifts my chin and kisses me and I can feel our magic tether and crackle within me as my arousal slowly begins to flicker. I rest my hands on her biceps and step back to break the kiss.
"Emma, don't..."
"Or, what?" she purrs seductively, "what will you do?"
I feel my hand trembling at my side as my Darkness is disturbed from it's restful state.
"Don't do this, Miss Swan."
"Oh, we're back to that now, are we?" she sighs as she strokes the silky lapel on my blazer. The defiance in her eyes is like a raging fire and I want so desperately to tame her... I roll my neck slowly and it pops softly as I take in a calming breath.
"Emma..." My voice a firm warning.
She takes two fingers and firmly pushes them into my shoulder, pushing me backward. I smack her hand away and grip her wrist firmly. She whimpers at my roughness but her eyes sparkle.
"I dare you..." she challenges me.
"I don't want you to ever be afraid of me, Emma. That was always my greatest fear... that the one I love would fear me. It, technically, came true with Henry but I cannot allow it to happen with you."
"Regina, I--"
"Emma, no... I cannot give in to my darkness. You don't know what you're asking."
"I'm not a child, Regina."
"Well, you're certainly not acting like an adult, Emma."
"I am and I'll act any way I like."
"Emma, I understand that you're upset but you will not speak to me this way."
She pouts and crosses her arms, it reminds me a lot of Henry and my heart melts. I flourish my hand and Emma's face lights up the stuffed animal I conjured for her.
"A duck?"
"Yes. A duck for my little duck."
She hugs it close to her chest and buries her nose into the soft material.
"I-It smells like you..."
"Residual effects of my magic. I thought it would comfort you."
"Thank you, Gina..."
"You're welcome, Em-ma."
I can see her shiver slightly and I can't help but to grin.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes... I'm sorry, I just..."
"What is it, dear?"
"I like your voice..." Her cheeks blush pink, "I like when you say my name like that."
I can't help but to smile as I think back to each time I've said her name like that, she had the same reaction. She snuggles her duck and almost melts into it. I realize I can't leave her like this and I can't allow her to go to work this way either.
"Would you like to spend the day with me, little duck?"
"Yes, b-but... I hafta work."
"No, love. Not today... I'll call David to cover you and Snow can step in for me for the day."
"R-Really?"
"Absolutely. How about I go pick something up from Granny's to start our day?"
"C-Could I ride with you?"
"Of course, little duck. I'd love to have your company! Let's go get dressed okay?"
"Okay!" She says happily before running up stairs, I follow close behind.
She pulls her sleep shirt off and discards it in the floor haphazardly. As she places her duck on the bed, I notice the scars on her back are nearly fresh, much like my lip is. It's strange it hasn't healed when I think about it.
"Emma! Your back!"
"I-I'm fine...."
"Emma, please... I--" I sigh softly, "is this what you were talking about?"
"Y-Yes..."
I trace my finger over my lip and it stings greatly.
"Does it hurt?"
"Yes..." she pouts.
"Let me help you."
"N-No, it's okay! Let's get to Granny's, okay? I-I'm buying..." Her voice is harder than it had been like a wall is going up.
"Em-ma," I command gently. She freezes at the tone of my voice, "please look at me."
She turns to face me, her eyes watery with tears.
"Regina, please..." she whimpers, bruises cover the front of her body.
"Oh, Emma..."
"It's fine, okay? I've lived it once, the second time around shouldn't be so bad."
"But, honey, they didn't heal properly the first time."
"Why does it matter so much to you?!" She vents.
"B-Because I love you, Emma. Is that okay with you?" I fuss grumpily, "I hate that you're in pain and I want it to go away. God, little duck! You can be insufferable!"
"I... I know I'm being difficult, Gina... I'm sorry. It's just... breaking that plate this morning just...."
"Hey, it's okay... I--"
"No, it isn't! It isn't..." Emma sobs, "it makes me ugly a-and damaged. I'm f-fucking disgusting, Regina! An ugly duckling. If these scars are new... what else is..." she shivers, looking sick. I take her into my arms, holding her in a tight embrace. I stroke her hair gently as she weeps, "why did this have to happen to me, Gina? W-What'd I do to deserve this?!"
My heart breaks as she speaks, she did nothing... I did... this is my fault, I think to myself.
"Don'-- Don't say that, Gina!"
"But, I didn't-"
"You did! I heard you! I-I could never blame you! I- it's his fault!" She hisses, "and, it's their fault I healed the way I did... they wouldn't help me, they didn't care. And, I was to never bring it up. It was a secret and that secret ruined my life. You did nothing wrong!! Because of you, I have Henry. Henry brought me to my parents. Brought me to you! You didn't do this to me, you wouldn't..." she sobs, "you couldn't..."
"Emma, I-I'm sorry..."
"No, Gina. I'm sorry. You wanted to help, truly help... I guess those words... they... well, they mean something different to me."
"What if I could change that?"
It's now or never... I've been practicing white magic.
"May I see your back? Please?"
"I-I guess."
"No harm will come to you, Emma. Please, trust me."
She nods slowly before exposing her back to me. Sorrow tears through me as I scan my eyes along her marred, raw flesh. I hold my hands over her back channeling my magic through my hands; my love for Emma fills me before flowing from my fingers and palms. Her skin begins to heal and close, the bruises fading from her skin.
"G-Gina? What are you doing?" She asks, pain ebbing and flowing in her voice
"Healing you, little duck. I know it hurts... I'm so sorry, I'm almost done."
Her body slowly begins to stop trembling.
"Thank you..." she sighs softly before curling up on the bed with her plush, "I still don't feel like talking, Gina."
"That's okay, Emma. Would you still like breakfast?"
"Yes, please...."
"But?"
"I-I don't wanna go to Granny's. I'd rather stay here."
"That's okay, dear. Whatever you'd like! I'll make us breakfast here."
"Gina, no. You don't hafta do that for me. I can just eat cereal."
"Not a chance, Emma. You've had a more visceral response to your regression... I know you must be hungry."
Her cheeks turn a light shade of pink, she tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.
"I-I am kinda hungry..."
"Good. Would you still like to spend the day with me?"
"You still want to spend time with me?"
"Without a doubt." I offer with a wink and a smile, "put on something comfy and meet me downstairs!" I say before kissing her cheek. She smiles and touches the place I kissed her before sitting on the bed and holding her duck.
----------
After leaving Emma upstairs to catch her bearings and change, I swallow my pride and call Snow. We're on much better terms but would I be me if I didn't still think she and Prince Tinted Lip Balm were idiots? I can love them and roll my eyes at them at the same time, right? I sigh heavily as I dial out on my cell.
"Hello?" Snow answers.
"Good morning, Snow."
"Regina! Good morning! How are you? How is Emma? I haven't heard from her since--"
"That's what I called about..."
"Oh no, is she okay?! Is she hurt?!"
"Yes and no. I think Emma is experiencing what I did except she's having a more intense reaction."
"I don't understand?"
"I don't wish to divulge what Emma told me but let's say she has more to contend with than a busted lip."
"I see... how can we help?"
"Can you and David cover us today? Actually, make it today and tomorrow. I have a feeling she has a lot to work through and... I want to help as best as I can."
"Say no more, Regina. We'll take care of it."
"Thank you."
"Sure." Snow finishes with a sniffle.
"Oh, and Snow?"
"Yes?"
"Plan to have dinner with us tomorrow night. You deserve this time with Emma... your love for her would mean everything right now. Much like my own age regression, she's going through something. Something none of us could really understand or remedy. But, I know that what she needs more than anything right now is your love and one of your ridiculous and regaling hope speeches."
Snow chuckles at this.
"Seriously? We'd love to!"
"Great! We'll see you later, then!"
"Regina?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
"Always. It's what we do, right?"

After hanging up with Snow, I turn my phone off and slide on the island while I prepare some bacon and chocolate chip banana pancakes. After putting the baking sheet of bacon in the oven I pour the sweet batter into the skillet. As the batter sizzles I can't help but to think of what I can do to cheer Emma up. I've never seen her in such a bad way... even when she thought Henry died. She's not comfortable in public right now so I don't want to plan something away from home. I remember her joy talking about Halloween and her time living in Salem. She lit up talking about it, it reminded me of Henry when he gets excited. I think a movie collection of some kind came with the house when I cast the curse and Henry has definitely added to it over the years.... and, I keep cider in stock around here. Hmm... this could work.