One Helluva Team (Hazbin Hotel + Helluva Boss OC Story)

Chapter 15: WELCOME TO HEAVEN

"There are millions of people in Hell scattered throughout the seven rings and nine circles. Some are sinners, some are Hell-born, and some are unlucky souls who got screwed in the living world."

"These are their problems."

Joshua: A bit of fuss down at the church the other day...

*THE OTHER DAY*

Joshua and Alex were called down to one of the many churches in the human world to check on a message sent by Father Glenn.

Joshua: Glenn.

Glenn: Joshua.

Joshua: How are you now?

Glenn: Good, and you?

Joshua: Oh, not so bad.

Glenn: Ooh, look what you brought with you. Hello, Alex.

He steps out from behind the podium to show she wasn't wearing pants and his shirt long enough to cover his underwear. They were a bit surprised by this as it was unexpected.

Joshua: Why the lack of pants?

Glenn: Joshua, it's humid. It's the humidity. Y'all might want to think about doing the same thing, just pop your pants right off, that way no one gets sticky.

Alex: Nope.

Joshua: It's not so bad. What's the fuss?

Glenn: Ma O'Dell mentioned something about you helping her get a squirrel out of her attic. I'm faced with a similar conundrum. (Points to right) Right over there. It seems some kinda rodent's made his home over there. I have not seen him, but I sure can smell him. (Chuckles)

Joshua walks over and pulls up the panel to see what it was. The animal makes a hissing noise and Joshua walks back.

Joshua: It's a possum.

Glenn: Hm.

Alex: Possum.

Joshua: That's right.

Alex: Oh, pitter patter, let's get at 'er.

Joshua: Do you wanna know what? I'd reach into a pirate hooker's chamber pot before I'd reach in there. And I'm gonna tell ya. Possums are immune to snake venom. They could probably survive a nuclear blast.

Alex: I think it's pronounced new-cue-lar.

Glenn: (cleans his glasses) Mmm, but it isn't.

Joshua: They're mutants. They have forked fucking penises

Glenn: (scoffs)

Alex: (sarcastic) We should all be so lucky.

Joshua: They do this thing called "Playing Possum," where they appear dead and emit a death stink from their butt holes, fuck. I found one playing possum one time, thought it was dead and buried it. It dug itself out a few hours later and (censors for bad and stupid saying)

Glenn: Joshua! Think about the swear jar, you're putting so much money in.

Alex: All right, let me take a peek see?

Joshua: Pitter-patter.

Alex: Always had a skilled hand in wrangling vermin.

Glenn: Thank you, Alex. And that doesn't surprise me.

Alex: (walks over) No sweat.

Glenn: (laughs) No sweat? In this heat? That is rich and it's funny. Honestly just take off that suit. I'll hold it for you. You crawl up in there, no one gets dirty.