Resident Evil (TWD & RE Mashup Story Series)

Episode 1: Days Gone Bye

College of Raccoon City -- Ten Days Before Raccoon City's viral outbreak

19 year old Ethan Winters was outside sitting on the table bench with his childhood friend, Jayden Wilson, while eating their lunch.

Ethan: What's the difference between boys and girls?

Jayden: This a joke?

Ethan: No, I'm serious.

Jayden: I never met a girl who knew how to turn off a light. They're born thinking the switch only goes one way-- on. They're struck blind the second they leave a room. I mean every girl I ever let have a key-- I swear to God, it's like I come home, house is all lit up. And my job, you see, apparently-- because my chromosomes happen to be different-- is I've then gotta walk through that house, turn off every single light this chick left on.

Ethan: Is that right?

Jayden: Yeah, baby. Mmm. Oh, reverend Jack is preaching to you now, boy.

The two laugh at Jack's comment before Jack continues.

Jayden: Then-- the same chick, mind you-- she'll bitch about global warming. You see, this is-- this is when reverend Jack wants to quote from the guy gospel and say, "Darling, maybe you and every other pair of boobs on this planet just figure out the light switch, you see, goes both ways, maybe we wouldn't have so much global warming."

Ethan: You say that?

Jayden: Mmm. Yeah, well, a polite version. Still, man, that earns me this look of loathing you would not believe. And that's when the exorcist voice pops out. (deep voice) "You sound just like my damn father! Always yelling about the power bill, telling me to turn off the damn lights!"

Ethan: And what do you say go that?

Jayden: I know what I want to say. I want to say, "Bitch, you mean to tell me you've been hearing this your entire life and you are still too damn stupid to learn how to turn off a switch?"

The two laugh at Jack's comment.

Jayden: You know, I-- I don't actually say that though.

Ethan: That would be bad.

Jack: Right, right. Yeah, I go with the-- I go with the polite version there too.

Ethan: Very wise.

Jayden: Yes sir.

It becomes quiet for a moment before Jack spoke up.

Jayden: So how are things with your folks?

Ethan: They're good-- they're good at turning off lights. Really good. I'm the one who sometimes forgets.

Jayden: Not what I meant.

Ethan: We didn't have a great night.

Jayden: Hey look, man, I may have failed to amuse with my sermon, but I did try. The least you can do is-- is speak with your folks. Get them to back off just because you're dating a girl like Mia.

Ethan: That's-- that's what they always says. "Speak. Speak." You'd think I was the most closed mouth son of a bitch ever to hear her tell it.