Lover: Where's Debut, Fearless and Speak Now?
Midnights: They're playing hide and seek.
Lover: Where?
Midnights: I don't think you get how this game works.
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Debut: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?
Evermore: It isn’t smirking at anyone. They’re all just imagining it.
Midnights: Three of us saw it, Evermore. How do you explain that?
Evermore: *points at Midnights* Sleep deprivation. *points at Reputation* Paranoia. *points at Folklore* Delusional personality disorder.
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RED: Looking left cause you don’t treat me right.
1989: Looking right because you left.
Speak Now: Looking up cause you let me down.
Evermore: Looking down cause you fucked up.
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1989: Can I be frank with you guys?
Evermore: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.
Lover: Can I still be Lover?
Evermore: Shh, let Frank speak.
Reputation: And you two are supposed to be the geniuses?
Midnights: Hush, Frank has something on her heart.
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Midnights: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?
Lover: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies
RED: Socks are Feetie Heaties
Debut: Forks are Stabby Grabbies
1989: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties
Speak Now: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies
Fearless: Stamps are Lickie Stickies
Evermore: That hurt to hear.
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Midnights: There is no future. there is no past. Do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.
Lover: ...
Fearless: ...
Debut: ...
Everyone Else At Midnights Surprise Birthday Party: ...
1989: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.
Midnights, softly: No. Lover can cut it. She's best with keeping even slices
1989: *silently slides the cake over to Lover, who's gently taking the knife from Reputation before she stabs someone*
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*Debut running past the snack table where Lover is standing*
Lover: What do you have?
Debut, giggling like a gremlin: A kNiFe!
Lover, taking off after her: nO!
Reputation turns to Midnights, who's laughing: Why did you give her a knife?
Midnights: I told her to go hide it.
Reputation: Okay, let me rephrase, who's knife did you give to her?
Midnights: Evermore.
Reputation, running after Lover: Babe, don't touch the knife!
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RED: Truth or dare?
Reputation: Dare.
RED: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.
Reputation: Hey, 89?
1989, blushing: Yeah?
Reputation: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Lover.
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1989: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Midnights: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
1989: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING DIBBLES WITH ME
Lover, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.
Debut: But it's getting good.
Reputation: Hush child.
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Reputation: Why does Debut look like she's having an existential crisis?
Lover: She took one of those “Which Album Are You?” quizzes
Reputation: And...?
Lover: She got 89.
1989: *trying to calm Debut* I'm not that bad!
Debut: That's not what I'm worried about!
Lover, tiredly: It's been an hour.
Reputation: Good luck.
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Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
RED: Shit.
Speak Now: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
Fearless: OH MY GOD, DEBUT FELL OFF!!!
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Fearless: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Reputation: Not if they consent to it.
Evermore: Depends on who you’re stabbing.
Lover: YES?!?
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Cop: Have you seen a person named 'Tim Mcgraw' around here?
Evermore: Ugh, yes. She made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.
Midnights: It looks fine to me?
1989: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!
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RED, about The Tortured Poets Department: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the house.
Fearless: Are we stealing them?
Speak Now: New or old?
RED: Wonderful responses, both of you.
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Fearless: I’m an idiot.
Speak Now: ...
RED: ...
1989: ...
Evermore: ...
Speak Now: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.
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Lover: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!
1989: Tubular AF!
Reputation: Mood to the max!
Folklore, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.
Evermore, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she’s a square.
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Evermore: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.
1989: ... Your what?
Evermore: My friends.
Midnights: Is she saying “friends”?
RED: I think she's being sarcastic.
Reputation: No, no, no, this is delirium. She's cracked from being awake all week. Hey, Eve! All of your friends are in this room.
Evermore: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.
Lover, trying to be supportive: We're glad, but making friends shouldn't be seen as tasks.
Evermore: How about we first solve this problem then after we discuss my social life?
Folklore: What social life?
Evermore: Do you people want my help or not?
Lover: Yes, please!
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RED: Are you sure this is the right direction?
Midnights: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!
1989: In that case, we're definitely lost.
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Debut: Hey Lover?
Lover: Yes?
Debut: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Lover: ...
Lover: Where’s 89?
Debut: Not inside a washing machine.
Midnights, from the other room, absolutely panicked: Evermore, why is 89 on your list!? She's only ever hurt men! You monster!!
Evermore, calling from upstairs: She isn't even on my list!
Midnights: I'm too high to stop this death machine!
Lover, pointing at Debut: You girls need to stop bullying 89. She's gonna stop agreeing to look after you. She's still scarred by your strange card game.
Midnights, in an absolute crisis mode: How are these machines legal?!
Lover, rushing to help: I'm on my way, Mid!
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