Cross

10

Born to Die - Lana Del Rey

Roman

Light flutters into the room, dimmed by the sheer curtains and half drawn black out curtains.

It's a quiet afternoon and for first time in months, nothing out of the usual is happening in my city. Deals and trades are happening with minimal bloodshed and less and less of my Falcons, my soldiers, are showing up dead. Some lost a limb or two but losing limbs is not abnormal.

It happens a lot more often than people think.

I'm sitting on the edge of the bed by where my wife sleeps, and watch her. Most afternoon she sleeps, hands covered in dried paint and her hair a braided mess.

Peace. That's a word I don't use often nor is it something I feel. Not until I meet her on that snowy night in Aspen. She flashed me that smile and lit up the sky. She burned away all the darkness within me. She held my gaze with the softest expression that sent my heart into overdrive.

No one has ever looked at me like that.

I can't kill her and I think my brothers know that too.

I'm ruthless, I'm merciless yet I showed mercy to a girl except she isn't just any girl. She's Boris Balandin's daughter. She deserved to die more than anyone else.

Her father was the man who conspired with my predecessor to torture and rape my sisters before selling them into the sex ring. It was a punishment for a crime my family did not commit. We were loyal to Manny Rivera and he turned on us, delivering the most sinful punishment.

The excuse of her brother overstepping into my territory was just that. An excuse. If she knew the whole truth, I think it would destroy the light inside her.

I watch her sleeping form and swallow at the thought of strangling or suffocating her to death from where she lies. It's so easy. I could kill her before she could even register what was happening. But I don't and with day that goes by where she's still alive, I can feel the rift between my brothers and I growing wider.

Though, nothing is worse than the guilt ripping through me at the thought of my youngest sister, Carmen. She suffered the worst.

Keeping Winter alive was a betrayal to her.

Reaching out, I caress Winter's delicate cheeks with the back of my knuckles. She sleeps so serenely as if the crimes of her father did not bother her. But I guess she never really knew him and she would never know about the sins he committed against my family.

Suddenly I am at a cross road and uncertain about the path I need to take. Should I tell her and watch it eat her whole or protect her from the truth. I don't know. It's the first time in my life that I don't have an answer to a problem.

Winter lightly stirs and a sweet groan bubbles from her lips. Blue eyes flutters open. They blink away sleep until they settle on me with a cautious curiosity.

"Roman, you're not working?"

She's not use to seeing me around the house at this time. Winter spends most of her time alone, sitting on the veranda with canvases and cans of paint scattering around my once precise outdoor kitchen.

Though, Nina informed me that she had not even finished one canvas as of yet.

"I'm always on the clock." I keep my voice hush. "Right now I have a moment to watch you."