Under the Hunters Moon

Crescent Moon: Part VIII

Defense Against the Dark Arts tower, Hogwarts, November 20th.
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It was a few weeks before I could catch Professor Lupin alone again, with Quidditch practice, training with Atalanta in hand-to-hand combat, and Hermione's tutoring sessions, I barely had free time for myself let alone trying to talk to him alone. Today was my lucky break, Professor Lupin had dismissed the class early, and with it being an off day in training and Hermione burying herself in the history section looking for something, though what she hadn't told me or Ron about, I had some rare free time today.

"Umm, Professor do you have a moment to talk?" I ask as the last of the class leaves the room, Professor Lupin looks up at me after he drapes a dark curtain over the tank of the dark creature we had been studying this week with a smile.

"Of course Harry, I also told you to call me Remus outside of class." He says with a tired smile, he looks pale and sickly, his face flushed red as if he was running a fever.

"Right, umm sorry," I say as I scratch the back of my head awkwardly, "I wanted to ask if you've considered what I asked about last time we had tea," I say hopefully, as I shift my weight from one foot to the other, getting antsy from all the standing around. He sighs and drops his head before rubbing his eyes.

"I have Harry." He says as a pit begins to form in my stomach with anxiety feeling it, he looks back up at me with sadness in his old eyes, "I don't think you understand what you're asking me to teach you, Harry" I open my mouth to tell him I did but he holds up a hand to stop me, "I'm not talking about spell itself, but the intricacies behind it, it is a very old and powerful esoteric spell. The reason that it's a post-NEWT spell is that it needs an older core to be able to cast, even then very few can successfully cast the spell, there are only five Wixen in this whole school able to cast the spell myself included in that number." He says with a defeated sigh.

"But if the Dementors show up again, I need to know how to defend myself. I don't..." I hesitate not wanting to tell him what I hear every time they're near me. "Want to fall off my broom again, I-I spend too much time in the hospital wing as it is," I say as a joke, but he just looks at me oddly before his lips press in a thin line.

"I doubt they'll show up at the next game, Dumbledore was very cross with them. You'll be fi-" he tries to tell me but I cut him off.

"And if they show up anyway? What then?" I ask as I feel the anxiety give away to a hot coal of anger and my voice raises with it, "I fall and hope someone stops me before I hit the ground and die?" I ask him, not yelling but getting louder with each word, all he does is avoid my eyes and apologizes.

"I'm sorry Harry, you're not ready yet." He then turns and gathers his things at his desk and begins to walk towards his office door. I can feel my teeth grinding, I want to curse and yell but that never helped when I was little, and it wouldn't help now. So, I say something I know he couldn't ignore.

"Lily, it's him," I say in a whisper, something a normal person couldn't hear but Professor Lupin still stops, hand raised to open his office door, "Get Harry and run, Go!" I say louder this time, "Please take me, kill me, not my Harry. Kill me instead-"

"Stop." He whispers out, but I don't.

"Step aside you silly girl, step aside. No, please have mercy-" I continue, my voice dead as the words echo in my head, replaying like some horrible movie I can't get away from.